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I Never Tell People Because I Am Embarressed

my mother says it runs in the family. i didnt grow up with my mother for six years of my childhood so i know i didnt pick it up in as a way of mannorism. originally i was an empath with animals mostly. because i didnt have family members of my own. i could tell at age 6 or 7 that a foster mother i had was only interested in me because i was a cute kid. turns out it was true!! as amuch affection as she lavished on me i knew deep down it was superficial and a one way road . a way to make herself to feel good. i knew she didn't know me and did not appreciate her physical affection. it was fake. but the selfishness was not. (not bad reading for a little kid!)

i dont tell ppl how i am able as an adult to read peoples emotions and especially the ones they are hiding more than anything. i feel sorry for people that are putting on a show because i know they either cannot forgive themself for some thought or mistake or are afraid somebody will find out something they are ashamed of. this is where my empath is strongest.

my spouse says i am this way because of going thru foster care and it has become a survival tactic that i am able to read people. but i do feel guilty when i am wrong in what i feel and just crushed when a person has a strong "wall" that is inpenetratable. it actually makes me feel like i am failing somehow. i dont exorcise these traits very often anymore with the exception of my children and my husband. probably because i dont see many other people.

another route i am very good at is relaxing a persons body with my hands and also pretty good at knowing the appropriate times to give affection and when not to. i get angry with my husband because he lies so much, he dosent realize how well i can read him and i often deny him the physical healing i know how to dish out. i really dont know how i know but i can turn him into butter with one stroke or squeeze and sometimes do it to punish him (bad wife!) and then ingnore him. its my way of saying you could and i can but thats what you get for ruining my day butthead.

i am glad i found a group that i can share these types of things about me with. it sure beats my stupid mother embarressing me at the grocery store by her saying "SHES PSYCIC"  i think my mother lived to embarres me. i always denied it to some level. there was a few times when i was drinking that i began telling  my husband  about it but thank god i was drinking and it can be considared "drunk talk" lol. i look forward to reading more stories here. i do also believe that some people think they are an empath when in reality they certainly are not. you wont find me tearing down their belief. if yo u like or undersstand what i wrote please reccomend this. this is a very well kept secret for me and i would like feed back  from others that feel the same way. actually this is my first real oppertunity to "come out of the closet" so to say...

weareallhuman weareallhuman 31-35 12 Responses May 17, 2008

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I too never shared with anyone....... simply because there are so many close-minded people in this world. They won't understand & will either think u're crazy..dismiss you as a freak or look at you blankly wondering what the heck you're talking about lol ...=)

I also believe that there is a bigger purpose for us. I have have dreams about recreating the world ( I know that that's a big job ) But I honestly felt a strong connection to the world once i woke up. The dream was pretty in depth with a mental picture, More then usual. I was flying threw the world looking at people and how some are cruel, some happy, some so selfish that they cannot even have a single thought about the earth or other people around them, some so involved in day to day thinking that not a single thought about the planet or future was in their head...Anyways, as i fly through the world, it also slowly shrunk, Eventually into a little ball and then vanished. After that, I began to recreate life, Like how a person would erase a piece of a drawing because they didn't like what they saw. I was pretty much picking out what was wrong, and what was my definition of fixing, Would change to benefit the future. I know that certain decisions can't always have a positive outcome in every circumstance, but I was using fractions...Like what was BEST not what was perfect. Anyways, other then the dream, before I realized that i had almost the maximum empathic level....I Can feel a persons feeling without even meeting them. I can play a video game, and the movements they make on the game or the things they say, even to a simple smiley face " :) " I can feel if that person is a good person, bad person, or a lost person looking for an answer. Anyways, I have tried to kill myself on three different occasions. I tried to overdose on pills for one....I Took two boxes of a cold medicine that had Dextromethorphan in it. I Tried to smoke synthetic marijuana that has killed so many, by smoking a very large amount of in it that would normally kill someone....Then the last time finally showed me that I wasn't meant to die.....I Tried to cut my wrist with a razor sharp box cutter....Not matter how hard i pushed, the knife would not pierce my skin deep enough to get to the vain. I know your thinking, well you must of not pushed hard enough....Well I had my arm laying on the ground so i could push to the extreme....it would of cut someones arm off if you tried it. That day showed me I wasn't mean to die just yet. I honestly fear no death, and i found out that I am so unselfish that i almost care nothing about myself and feel like I only live to make others happy. I am so deeply gifted with Empath, that I was playing a game one night (World of Warcraft) and i met a girl. As soon as she typed a message to me, It was like I was in her mind and soul. I vaguely remember all that happened, because once she spoke, my mind and body had such emotional feelings It was almost overwhelming. But i do remember, that I was telling HER about HERSELF rather then the other way around. I knew she had a photographic memory before she told me, and that she loved computers and was very caring. She also shared about EVERY single thing that I loved to do, and cherished in this world, which is generally called a soul mate.... She also was the person who showed me that i had a deep level of empathy. We then started dating. That's that story...Just the other day, I was outside looking at the sky before we went to bingo...I started talking, "If your listening, Could you let me win a game tonight? I want to help my girlfriend (Jane) out financially since she and her mother are always in a tight budget". Well, sure enough I wont 1000 dollars that night. Then two days later, My step dad asked me if he could borrow 300 dollars from me to pay his credit card off, so i said sure. I know he felt horrible for it, so i spoke to the sky once more and said...." I Know its not right to be asking for money and I am sorry for bugging you so much, but could you help my step dad out tonight?" Well sure enough, He went to bingo that night and won 500 dollars....That was the only two times i asked for something, both times I received an answer. There IS something we have to do in this world, and I WILL find it and post it here. I believe my purpose in this lifetime is to find the purpose, because I have been wondering that ever since i can remember, and the unexplainable event that have happened to me tell me that I am here not for a normal life. I will search and search for the truth to our existence... I didn't want to live a normal life anyways =)

Oh my goodness! Me too, I am was too embarrassed to tell anyone. I feel happy though, because at least I can accept it as a gift! We are lucky!

I'm an empath?<br />
I don't know. But ever since I was young I always looked for a place to belong and never found one. In my teens my aunt used to tease'admonish me that I always made friends with strays and people who were different? The lamed andd the maimed (because psychologicvally I was both)<br />
Later, Iwent on to study pschology (Now a D.Sc.).<br />
It always shocks me how with a prying sentence/suggestion I can cut directly to a person troubled source and it is like winning the jack pot on an emotional ' one armed bandit'. Sometimes I don't even believe it myself and prod awaya and reserch to verify the narratives. They always prove true.<br />
I have learned to dissociate from other people's trauma, at the time, but later it does weigh heavily on the psyche.<br />
I really am glad thata I can do this and help people in a timely and efficient way.

What an AMAZING story! I too keep my "abilities" quiet especially since I've been only AWARE that there's an actual name for this for about 4 months now. I laughed when you said you hold back your healing abilities when your husband isn't behaving.... I do exactly the same! The more I read a learn other peoples stories, the stronger my abilities get. I'm really really interested in growing my abilities, does anyone have any suggestions?

hi,<br />
I want to tell you that I can relate with you on a very interesting and not common level. I too was in foster care until I was two. When i was adopted by my "own Family" no one told me, so i felt like a dumb blonde misfit amongst brunettes who really didnt resemble my complexion or sensitivity very much so I truely believed I did not belonf in my own family, But always questioned everyone all the time carrying around what felt like lies and betrayel from every family member knowing there was way more to the story and i knew i was being lied too. It took my own initiative to find the answers i was looking for and long story short I put the missing pieces of my life together by finding confidence in myself enough to tell my family members that I know they are lying , so just come out with it. And finally my nana told me everything ..and its quite the story. But all this said, what im conveying is, that I know when im being lied to and I feel everything others feel indivisually and in a crowded room, I can attract the people who need me the most and push aside those fakers who are bullshitting me in everyway. I hated this about myself , growing up knowing that the energy arounfd me effected me so intensely i was convinced I was allergic to certain places and people. Now I am on a soul seeking path to unlock the power I know that is truely inside me and use it ti help people. People tell me things, sometimes completely random people just want to talk to me, and I wouldnt say i am overly outgoing. I jus connect, and share, and people look like they got the answer they were looking for. Its interesting I want to hear more from others who can relate. and moct importantly I want some answers of my own...And my advice for you is too embrace the amazing ability that you have delve into your creative side, enjoy the honest truths about life and center yourslef around a reality where energy is flowing and positive, This has helped me, and also realize there are answers in the negative aswell, embrace them analyce them with your brilliant mind, and FOLLOW YOUR GUT! <br />
Gut+Heart+Truth<br />
Nomeste<br />
Emilee

Raising the taboo subject of my own childhood experiences I have raised hell, and am once again, a last time the hell raiser. Seeking all my life to understand my extreme emotional states I have gained personal benefit of late from spiritual reading, discussion and gaining knowledge of how the mind is understood, and know then reasons for my state of mind are authentic, working at understanding the origins of my difficulties has caused parting myself and my children from my parents and siblings (as they would not want to listen to my side of the story, it has been that way for most of my life). I had tried solving anxiety, depression, over concern/stressed approach to life all sorts of ways, including prescription medication, a thing of the past - for me, covering up symptoms and not mend the true problem. Really the one main thing that is a potential problem is my addiction to smoking. Otherwise is has been a rough enough life so far and things are tender on many fronts. I will battle on, as feeling newly exiled from my first family but with self belief and new found self love leading the way. Freedom of speech is so important now in my life.<br />
<br />
'Justice preoccupies child and philosopher alike. An issue dismissed is a person dismissed.'

I think it's something we come to understand better as we get older. When we are younger, we are embarrassed by this because we know it makes us different. I do agree that some people who are not empaths are just good at reading body language, while others pick up on energy. <br />
I think it's important to remember not to let other's energy affect us physicially and emotionally.

Thanks for sharing this. I keep hearing echoes of my life in so many of these stories. I feel stronger and more confident for it.

i can definitely relate with you. I've been given the ability from my mother and even my grandmother has it. I have been able to read people's emotions at a very young age, I would say at 5 years old. I can read people's minds, I know when they are lying , I find myself finishing their sentences all the time, I can also read emotions through phone calls and pictures and I have so many abilities. I keep it a secret also only my family and close friends know I have this ability. Besides some people wont understand, they're closed minded :-/

My brother said that living in our house was like growing up in a POW camp. It's not so far off, actually. There are no words to describe the belly-deep fear of wondering if your father will actually kill you, this time. There was no rescue: there was no safety: and there was no escape. As am adult, I have had to unlearn being a victim...but anyway, I am also empathic. The more I learn to be honest with myself, honest about my real motives, the more I can see in other people. As a child, it was indeed a survival skill. I am very judicious about sharing my insight with anybody else...it really doesn't mean anything until they see it for themselves, anyway, just like me. When I train this skill on myself, the results can be painful, but it gives me the opportunity to grow and change.

I just wanted to share my story. I have been suffering with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I am 46 years old and have ended up using medication to control my "disorder". In the past year I have been on a spiritual quest of which I was not sure where it would lead me. I had always been a sensitive person and could read peoples emotions. I looked at it as more of a curse than anything. I could feel peoples sicknesses so I was always sick. Anyway to make a long story short. I took some massage therapy classes and ended up being a CMT and started to work on my new career. I started to absorb my clients bad energies even after, what I thought were good grounding exercises. I had to quit something I loved until someone suggested that I take Reiki. I really did not know what it was but thought I would give it a shot. I just finished a two day intensive workshop with an incredible revelation. My instructor upon meeting me told me that I was an Empath. Huh? I had no idea what it was so I immediately went to the internet and found the definition and to my dismay, I fit the definition exactly. My Reki instructor taught me some great grounding techniques and is helping me through my newly discovered???????? Not sure what to call it yet. It hasn't been a positive experience in my life but hopefully with help I can turn this "ability" into something beneficial to mankind or at least my friends and family. I am somewhat relieved that I can put a name to something that I have been struggling with my whole but also scared what the future may bring. Any help would be much appreciated or just some word of encouragement. This is not something you can discuss with just anybody, so being anonymous is much better