I Never Tell People Because I Am Embarressed
my mother says it runs in the family. i didnt grow up with my mother for six years of my childhood so i know i didnt pick it up in as a way of mannorism. originally i was an empath with animals mostly. because i didnt have family members of my own. i could tell at age 6 or 7 that a foster mother i had was only interested in me because i was a cute kid. turns out it was true!! as amuch affection as she lavished on me i knew deep down it was superficial and a one way road . a way to make herself to feel good. i knew she didn't know me and did not appreciate her physical affection. it was fake. but the selfishness was not. (not bad reading for a little kid!)
i dont tell ppl how i am able as an adult to read peoples emotions and especially the ones they are hiding more than anything. i feel sorry for people that are putting on a show because i know they either cannot forgive themself for some thought or mistake or are afraid somebody will find out something they are ashamed of. this is where my empath is strongest.
my spouse says i am this way because of going thru foster care and it has become a survival tactic that i am able to read people. but i do feel guilty when i am wrong in what i feel and just crushed when a person has a strong "wall" that is inpenetratable. it actually makes me feel like i am failing somehow. i dont exorcise these traits very often anymore with the exception of my children and my husband. probably because i dont see many other people.
another route i am very good at is relaxing a persons body with my hands and also pretty good at knowing the appropriate times to give affection and when not to. i get angry with my husband because he lies so much, he dosent realize how well i can read him and i often deny him the physical healing i know how to dish out. i really dont know how i know but i can turn him into butter with one stroke or squeeze and sometimes do it to punish him (bad wife!) and then ingnore him. its my way of saying you could and i can but thats what you get for ruining my day butthead.
i am glad i found a group that i can share these types of things about me with. it sure beats my stupid mother embarressing me at the grocery store by her saying "SHES PSYCIC" i think my mother lived to embarres me. i always denied it to some level. there was a few times when i was drinking that i began telling my husband about it but thank god i was drinking and it can be considared "drunk talk" lol. i look forward to reading more stories here. i do also believe that some people think they are an empath when in reality they certainly are not. you wont find me tearing down their belief. if yo u like or undersstand what i wrote please reccomend this. this is a very well kept secret for me and i would like feed back from others that feel the same way. actually this is my first real oppertunity to "come out of the closet" so to say...