When You Finally Figure Out You’re An Empath

and things finally start making some sense.


so i figured out what is “wrong” with me.  why people keep saying “you’re too smart to do such dumb things”  why do you think i drink so much.  take a wild guess.  (double sarcasm, like negative numbers)  TO DROWN OUT ALL YOU *************!!!!   i can feel you.  all of you.  your emotions.  your highs your lows.  you think i’m bi-polar no ******* wonder.  (regarding that and all other labels, “disorders”  there is no wrong or right way to be human there just is.  psychiatrists are here to drug you up shut you up keep you chasing that paper)  and right now the world hurts a lot and if i get too tired or stressed the meager boundaries that i have in place (because i didn’t consciously know i needed them until now) collapse under the weight and the floodgates open.  and i feel.  the pain.  of the world.  and it hurts.  and people look at me like i’m crazy.  and they don’t help me. “why are you crying”  really freaks out boyfriends.

well **** ya’ll i’m still here ;laksdkl;faslasdk

i’ve kinda known this for awhile but didn’t really believe it.  now i do. now all the pieces to the puzzle fall in place with this one cornerstone.  childhood is hell for an unconscious empath believe you me (you know what i’m talking about if you are one). when you’re scared of everybody (cuz they hurt you unintentionally)  and all you have is the vicodin you snuck from your dad and cough syrup (dex) to drown out the bad vibrations.  i cried everyday for like six years until i started drinking.  (and your dad’s an ex alky with crazy mad anger moodswings because his back’s all ****** up and who your mother met at the rehab she used to work at). i know my mom must be like this but not sure about my dad; think he has other native powers tho.  anyway, thank god for alcohol.  mdma.  LSD.  sex. mushrooms. music(semi-effective).  seems like alcohol blocks it and lsd lets you rise above it (although lucy’s a fickle ************ sometimes she’ll let the demons in).  they gave me respite, a space to feel my own emotions.  and they wonder why i’m emotionally retarded. 

but **** that i don’t want to be dependent on drugs/sensory overload all the time.  that was about being lost at sea with only your own **** to drink-not ideal but it’ll keep you alive for awhile.  so now i have to figure out this energy balance thing but who do i talk to about it? blerg. face. a;lskd. help.

turtlezepp.tumblr.com


 

turtlezepp turtlezepp
26-30
1 Response May 4, 2012

these words were ripped strait from my heart :') really tho lucy is better than alcy