Helpful Reasons

Helpful Reasons

(Written in high school... after trying to commit suicide bc I didn't know how to deal with my own feeling)

Give me a reason to be happy
So that I can hold onto it with all my might
Give me a dream to look forward to
So that I don’t have a reason to lose sight
There are good things in this world
But I can’t seem to make any of them my own
A reason to be grateful I’m alive
A reason so that I don’t feel all alone
Let me show you how I really feel
The pain I’ve tried to burry deep inside
Let me trust you with all my heart
So I don’t have a reason to run and hide
Let me cry my heart out
When I feel like its something I need
I am tired of hiding how I truly feel
Because I think that it’s a good deed
I think its better when I act like I am happy
So that you don’t know how I honestly feel
But please just know that when I’m smiling or laughing
It’s just for the moment, and usually not real
I don’t know why I feel the way I do
I only know its getting harder to hide
Just be someone that I can always trust
And promise to always be by my side
Sometimes I think that nobody cares
Yet, I can’t help but hope that I’m wrong
I have my family and very few friends
So for those who care I’ll try to stand strong
Why do I always feel so alone?
As I lay in bed at night?
Trying to think of any good reasons
On why I shouldn’t give up this fight
Please don’t tell me how to act
What to say or who to be
Just hold me tight and honestly care
About the girl who is buried deep inside of me
Let me be the person I am
Don’t try to make me someone I’m not
Think of the good times we’ve shared
Instead of dwelling on times we’ve fought
Kiss me, touch me, soothe and love me
Help me push my fears away
Help me understand that I am the reason
I should go on living another day
So when I look to the people around me
To help me through this time of need
Promise to help me from deep within your heart
And not with a trace of malice or greed
Show me the reasons I have been given life
For at this moment, the reasons I am unable to see
Help me understand if I want to be happy
I will find the reasons buried deep inside of me

- 2002
kasman85 kasman85
26-30, F
Sep 10, 2012