Being There....

I hope most of you can remember the Susan Smith case, where she intentionally drowned her two small boys. If not, check this link.

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When this story hit the news, it was absolutely devastating. I don't know why it effected me so , I didn't know this family and I could not understand why these children had somehow invaded my psyche, but they definitely had. While watching Ms. Smith being interviewed, I couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling that she was not being genuine, that she was witholding vital information from the police. As the day proceeded....I became so physically ill, I was forced to lay down. I wanted to sleep, to escape the thoughts racing through my mind. It was too much. I couldn't bare the thoughts, the images that flooded my brain. But when I did finally drift off, my dreams were of these two innocent angels. I could not get away from them.

When I talked to my husband about it, he thought I was crazy and told me I needed to stop watching the news and stop thinking about the tragedy. I could not , no matter how I tried.

When I closed my eyes I was suddenly transported to the interior of the car, I could see them, touch them..I saw when the the older brother reached out to comfort his baby brother and took hold of the younger ones tiny hand...I felt their terror when the water began seeping through the cracks and the seals of the doors and windows. I heard them crying out for their mother and saw the confusion on their terrified faces as they watched the dark, but still recognizable figure of their mother slowly disappearing from their view as the car sunk further under the water until it became entirely immersed.

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OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita
41-45, F
6 Responses Mar 13, 2010

I don't know you, but we are definitely in agreement about parents (or anyone) that harms children.

Killing ur own kids are probably one of the most sick sins anyone could even imagine committing. I lost my first born son seven years ago,he drowned in his father's swimming pool while i finally submitted to the begging of a man who had no conscience about the fact that he had no pool cover,or any means of security around it. He only installed one on the morning of my boy's funeral,to ridicule my charges of negligence. He got away with it,and even cashed in an "accidental death" fund claim. A couple months later,i evidently met a woman,wicca like myself,who apparently communicates with guardian angels. I was quite surprised that she knew things about my life and my son's. Some details were alarmingly accurate,and she then revealed the truth behind my son's death. She said HE KILLED THE BABY! My son was only13 months old,and i am still left with this painful void which nothing and noone can ever fill. As a mother,i will kill and did for my children. I find it hard to feel compassion for sicko's who decide to play God. Millions of good people in this evil world are unable to have children,and would have happily and eagerly taken those two little angels from Susan and given them a great life full of love. There is no justification for murdering the pure and innocent especially ur own kids. I do not judge,but i will never empathize with killers.

If you guys are sincere, then you should not have any problem joining a group I created several months ago .....http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Want-To-Remember-The-Abused-Abandoned-And-Murdered-Children/384464<br />
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I hope you will consider joining, I believe it's something we can all support.

You're lucky that denial works for you, Yosemite.....wish I was so lucky. Thanks for your comment.

I have never seen the Susan Smith case before and cried when i seen your link but let me ask you something how mentally ill must have the mother have been to do this,there is something called black depression where you basically think that the world is such a horrible place your loved ones would be better if they wernt around, to prevent things like this happening as a world we need to fund more research in the prevention of mental illness otherwise unfortunantly there will always be victims

Even now, it is impossible to understand how a mother of two beautiful little boys could allow any harm to happen, no less, do it herself!