I Feel Like Sucka Is Written On My Forehead!!

I now realize that I am an enabler.  For years my husband has been abusing drugs and he has fed me the line of I won't do it again.  Which he always does.  Mind you I am the perfect little helper believing that i could possibly fix this problem through prayer and everything my logical brain could come up with including psychoanalyzing him myself.  Anyway, through repeated harmful behavior and all that goes along with it including, other women, no money, him missing work, the depressions afterward, the jealousy tirads and anger and the constant professing that it is my fault, I finally kicked him out of the house.  But what I realized most is that I allowed some of this behavior to continue because I did not have the strength to tell him no.  This is not how I should be treated and I want you out of my life forever.  I realized that after he would go on a drug stint I he would come back totally sorry, crying and needy.  I would always be there to pick up the pieces.  Even if  I was angry. Even if I was hurt.  Even if  I was sick. No matter what because I loved him so, I wanted to believe in him.  I realize now that I enabled him to do what he did for so long because I hid the addition from family and friends and I wanted to pretend that this was not my life.

 

charsy charsy
46-50
Jul 12, 2010