I Found Happiness Despite Being Shunned

Hi. Im a 24 year old who has been disfellowshipped for a over a year and a half. I will never forget the day I decided I was leaving. I had just moved into my own apartment and was sick and tired of living a double life. I woke up that first day in my own place and said I am no longer a jehovahs witness. That day i called the elders and told them i needed to talk. 2 weeks later the announcement was made. In that moment i lost all my friends and family except my wonderful Mike. He is now my husband. I soon discovered how my life had been a lie. I am now happier than i ever was before. I am so thankful that i decided to have a life. I wish i knew someone close to be who understood this feeling. It's hard to find someone to talk to though. How do other ex he's meet up?
southerngirl07 southerngirl07
22-25, F
35 Responses Nov 9, 2012

well I'm still a witness and I'm miserable. I'm just glad you get enough courage to actually leave

Hi , I understand you and the feelings . I was associated with them for about 17 years , I never got baptized because I knew in my heart it was not for me but my mother and sisters are in the faith . When my mother died 14 years ago the elders called me 3 months after she died to find out if she was feeling better. I just don't like them I appreciate the view and discipline but the bible stance and the predicting nature and constantly changing doctrine was not for me.

Well shiiit, so I'm I. Did it for a woman, looks like it was all undone by woman lol. Right or wrong I have no regrets. I figure well all will find out in the end what's right what's wrong and all that. I just found it really hard to walk the line, plus the girls were a major distraction lol. Any way hey.

I was kicked out by the elders when I was 12. Yep that's right 12 because I told the elders they were full of ****! That religion is an evil cult.

You're amazing


I have a friend who has recently also left the religion could maybe do with someone to talk to about it.

I will show her this post as soon as I next see her !

Got no time for 'witlesses' Their religion is a very cruel manifestation of Christianity. When I see the 2x2 preaching their garbage, they make me quite angry!

In1997, I was 28 years old and married to my first wife. We were both raised as JW. Our first son was born late November. At that point in time I left the JW organisation on the grounds that I would not be the type of father that raises his children in misery. I have never looked back and have made many great friends since that day. Those friends are not judgmental and loving.
Rest assured you will in short time look back with a smile on your face, that the JW thing was just another chapter closed and many more great chapters yet to be opened and enjoyed. Peace and love to u. :)

Congrats! I have worked with many who have left. It is more like a cult - and for woman, to be treated as property, serving others in a variety of the ways, especially the Elders.

I am a woman, now in my 60's..I left this organization when I was about 24 yrs old. As with many of you, my involvement was the result of a long and complicated story. When I finally made the decision to break free I was a young mother and wife. I simply could not see my children living that dry, joyless existence. I have never regretted my choice. My ex husband is still very active and in fact quite prominent in this group. Many of my much loved relatives are unable to speak to me. I simply send them the message, thru other family members..I love you and always will...no organization or cult can change that..I just chose to live this life on my own terms and I chose for my children and grandchildren to have choices, options and the right to think freely. I have NEVER regretted my decision...I am so happy that these support groups are available for young people. Go and live, love, experience this life God has given you and do not allow yourselves to feel less than..you can make for yourself what this terrible organization has tried to take from you with their primitive practice of shunning. By the way..I have been remarried for many years, to a wonderful man who loves my children and adores my grandchildren...I went to college after leaving the JWs, had a long and fulfilling career..my children have had and are having good lives and my grandchildren have hopes for a future with no limits placed on them, or at least not silly, made-up limits..such as the constant threat of Armagedon hanging over their heads..I want to add, before I close..my ex husband was and IS a good man. He also remarried, a woman who shared his beliefs and they have been happy by all accounts. I am thankful for this. I didnt want to leave him..i wanted to escape the cult. He is still under the control of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. He is sincere and still very rigid in those beliefs. I never faulted him..only the Watchtower Society..To me, it is a secretive, ruthless organization not in the least Christ Like.

I would like to say that I know how it feels not having to play a puppet and you dont have control of the strings. I am happy you were able to cut those strings that were attached. I bet it feels good to breath doesnt it?

I 'studied' for several years and felt the push for the baptism. I was simply not ready. I have a personal belief and I have kept many of the teachings I was given. I do use HIS name when I pray. I believe THIS is Important. If this IS the correct name I do not know and do not care as it's between him and me. I never could understand the trinity and this was my one reason for beginning my 'study'.
Faith is very personal to me and I feel disrespected when friends and family try and change what I feel is correct. No, I don't attend the 'Meetings' aymore and I do not feel I am in the wrong for not doing so.

Good for you! The pain of separation you are feeling will not last. You will make other freinds and begin a new life. Someday you will look back at perhaps the best thing you ever did for yourself by leaving. I think it is so much better than continuing a life you regret or resent. Two thumbs up.

I am not a Jehovah's Witness in the respect of the organization but I am familiar with what you are experiencing because I once dated someone of the practice and he had been disfellowshipped which I was aware of but never knew anyone close going through it. I find it humorous that you mention a double life. He was a very much into the world, liked to celebrate holidays with me and often wanted to experience my religion with me.
I also recall one Christmas going to his mother's home and his sister in law's mother had decided that she was leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses and her daughter was in tears. I mean this was a grown woman crying her eyes out because she said she would never see her mother again. So to your credit I have seen the pain of separation this organization brings.

I promise as an outsider that you will continue to be Jehovah's witness by living in love and authenticity and teaching others about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and I truly wish you peace and blessings. You can read the King James Bible and learn all about Jehovah.


When I was in junior high, my best friend was a JW. I was curious about it but it never came between us. One time he and his mother came out to our farm proselytizing. I had just finished one year of confirmation class and I was debating with her with all kinds of Bible verses. This never got heated and I still liked her. My friend was in the back seat, feeling embarrassed. However, this had no effect on our close friendship and even though we've gone in different directions and I haven't seen him for years, I would welcome the chance to have him and his family as close neighbors. I'd trust him with my life.

Find peaces and forgiveness within yourself and Jehovah because over the years you will go through different emotions and feelings about your decision; such as guilt,mad, hate, betrayal,happiness, sad and eventually peace.

You have learned a lot about the bible and you also learned the way Jehovah Witness interpretation of the bible is and most important the way you understand what the bible say. I am not saying their views is right or wrong because their are a lot of good teaching in that religion, but they are human and not perfect and they do make mistakes
I am also an Ex-Jehovah witness. I have been disfellowship for 18 years and I struggled with all these emotions and then some for many years in the beginnning, but when I decided to try to go back 10 years ago an realized how unforgiving an unkind the elders was at me as if I had a plague and I was going to spread it to the congregation, I realized then this is not the religion I belong.

The longer you stay away from the religion it is harder to go back and harder for them to accept you back in. Finding another religion to be apart of will be a struggle because you have a lot of views you learned and believed about the bible, so all I can say is draw close to Jehovah and Jesus Christ, find peace within yourself and don't let this world change you, and most important love and forgive yourself and you will find true happiness.

Who are we to judge? We are making healthy decisions by asking, to lead a healthy life; this is why we are doing.

I was raised a JW from the age of 5 until my father chose to leave at an impressionable 15 years old because he thought it would help win back my unbelieving mother. It didn't work. I am thankful and happy that my father raised me this way to know what is right and wrong and what the future holds. They do not fear god, they fear doing wrong by him and if you have ever associated with these people you would see they are happy people. I welcome them into my home whenever they call at my door. People today choose to do what they want and listen to what they want to hear, and religion is slowly waning. I'm not sure what your reasons were for leaving and whether you still believe in it's teachings but all the best to you and your husband and future happiness. Even though it has been over 10 years since I was attending regularly in the back of my mind it's hard letting go of what you've been taught.

I feel like im living a double life too. I grew up in the 'truth' as they say. Nd it sucks!

Wow...I have a lot of thoughts on your post. I have always considered myself a spirtual person....more like one that follows the teachings of Buddah but I believe his teachings were most similar to those of jesus....but I have been doing a bible study for 2 years with a cute old lady and some of her friends that are JW. I have always heard bad stories about JW but I have learned tons about the bible that I never knew as I had not really read it before. These people appear most loving to me....but I have heard the stories about shunning those that once were members and have chosen a different path and that does not seem like what a loving jesus would recommend no matter what the bible says. I have asked Louise (the older lady) about that and she says it is up to "the elders" whch kind of creeps me out.... I still cannot figure out who we think we are as humans to have the ability and right to judge others....

Who are we to judge? We are making healthy decisions by asking, to lead a healthy life; this is what we are doing.

My husband was involved in JWs for 25 years and decided to walk away back in the 90s. In his mind, even though he was involved in the religion he was very alone. He knew that people couldn't have salvation as a group since salvation is deeply personal and singular. He saw how others were living a lie. He wanted better for himself and his children. He didn't lose trust in God, but walked away with his children - for a life of real freedom in Christ - after a time of reflection. He didn't find comfort in the world or much help in gathering with others. It brought him closer to YHWH. There was no disfellowship. He disfellowshipped himself from the religion of man - which takes courage, a similar kind of courage that you found. Jesus Christ is your authority, your High Priest. That is where your relationship lies, not in the bowels of denominational religion or in gatherings of people that wear masks while pretending to be perfect.

Some say "follow God" out of no religious group, and they say they do not sin. This is all so stupid... Have you ever read Wilhelm Reich?

Please never settle for any of the "used wineskins" called religions (including Christianity) which cannot contain the teachings of Jesus Christ. I am an ex-Christian because of my personal knowledege of Jesus Christ based on his self-revelation in his death on the cross, a.k.a., the mark of his divinity given to all but suppressed by the church. Blessings!

There once was a joke going around;" A preacher once told me to be more like Jesus,so I started hanging around thieves and prostitutes." And Jesus told us to forgive not one time but 7 times 77 times. He also said that we should love our neighbor as we love ourselves, {neighbor} bieng anyone we know. He teaches us that instead of casting out the sinner we should try to understand the reasoning and motives of him/her. And help them on the correct path. After all Jesus even forgave Peter, who veheminately denied that he even knew Jesus. Of course there are those who refuse to acknowledge the act of forgiving some one, and yet will cut someone a " BREAK" without ever realising what they are doing. I agree with at least one of the other posts here in that, some faiths push their church doctrine more than they teach the word of God. Preachers are not all the same. Just as a good soldier in combat,and a drill seargent are not always equal. Congratulations on starting your journey to truth. Read the book yourself and pray for understanding. He will show you the way.

Great work, you have left a prison. All religions are prisons or control mechanisms of the elite. All that one needs is to understand that truth cannot be found anywhere but from within. These JW or methodist or catholics... would crucify Jesus again if they came across him preaching. The muslims would have killed Muhammad now if he came again preaching truth. Jesus said the kingdom of the lord is within and not out there in those big BIZ we call Churches where the more u donate the greater u become... it is good to know u have understood and are now FREE from bondage....enough said, see the following links -

A minister, a priest and a rabbi were discussing how they "divined" what part of the collection money each retained for personal needs and what part was turned in to their respective institutions.

"I draw a line," said the minister, "on the floor. All the money I toss in the air -- what lands to the right of the line I keep, to the left of the line is the Lord's."
The priest nodded, saying, "My system is essentially the same, only I use a circle. What lands inside is mine, outside is his." The rabbi smiled and said, "I do the same thing. I toss all the money into the air and whatever God grabs is his!"


Good for you to find the truth and to act on it. You will never regret that it is just to bad that there had to be carnage. If they were a true group who loved God with their whole hearts, mind and body they would never have shunned you as God says you can do all kinds of things but if you don't have love then it means nothing. 1 Corithians 13 read it as it says it all!

I grew up a "witness" Best day of my life was day they disfellowshipped

Continue being God's Girl.....!

True religion is love.
Not rules to be judged by

I dont think you will feel the same in a few years unfourtanately. I have been disfellowshipped for a total of 8 years and the only reason i dont return to the truth is because im resentful and angry at men. Please dont confuse Jehovahs' word with the words of men. Human beings are imperfect. Being that the case they are liable for all kinds of wrong. But I promise there is no greater joy and love than the love you feel for your creator and the love he feels for you even if right now your judgement is clouded by emotion (mostly angry and hate). Just look inside yourself make sure you are happy and make sure love is always around you. I personally dont believe religion dictates whether Jehovah loves you or not its doing the right thing and following your moral compass.

:) may it go well with you southerngirl07 (what should i address you?)...GOD BLESS TO YOU AND TO YOUR FAMILY... I KNOW THE LORD WON'T FORGET YOU...STICK TO GOD...

http://www.unshackled.org/listen_home.html > choose what year>choose what true story

Disfellowshipped for 16 years now and couldn't be happier. The congregations live in a constant state of fear and anger towards god and other human beings. JW is a destructive and painful way to live life. Enjoy you're new found freedom in life :D

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm trying to leave my abusive family and can relate to the walking away from everyone you know and trying to learn what reality really is. I'm really encouraged that you found happiness in your experience. I hope you find what your looking for and get the support you want.

How hard it must be for you. I do have had friends over the years the are members - I did not realize how restrictive they are with you all.

WOW! I hope your life turns out good for you.

We can still love our creator with freedom of expression.

Did you have a disbelief in God/ Christianity or is it that you had a disbelief in the Jehovah's witnesses theology? I ask because some of the responses seem to assume that you no longer believe in the Christian religion. I would like clarification,pls.

So happy for you right now!! Losing your religion truly is a revolution for one.
love atheism

southerngirl,<br />
<br />
Congratulations on your journey into the real world of truth. I can assure you that you have made one great and brave step forward that you will never regret. Now that you have started thinking for yourself and are free from the shackles of religious mumbo jumbo with devils and angels you will find that life actually will begin to make a lot more sense. You have probably already realized how manifestly flawed the whole Bible story is and how under even a tiny amount of questioning the whole edifice just falls apart.<br />
<br />
I would be delighted to hear how you came to your revelation of disbelief because I think it may help others in your faith to seek the truth too.I see that you only posted a couple of days ago and feel sure that you will soon have a following of new disbelievers with whom to exchange ideas and experiences.<br />
<br />