I am an ex-JW not because I took issue with any doctrinal beliefs. It would be nice to say I was that devote, but my reasons for leaving were much more selfish, extreme unhappiness in my marriage. As most witnesses I married young, pressured into marriage quickly so we did not 'sin'. Through the following three years of marrage I discovered much I didn't know about myself or him. He was a good person overall, but often difficult and a harsh man to live with. With an honest assessment however, I have to say the fault was my own. Had I been completely straightforward with myself I would have known I was not in love with this man and never could be. There's nothing more lonely than being in a marrage to the wrong person. My loneliness was amplified by the fact that I found it difficult to make good friends. We always had acquaintances, but not the true kind of friend who will just make plans on a whim. I savored any invitation which came rarely. I ended up falling in love with another man and despite desperate prayers to save my marriage, I seemed to have no control of my own feelings. Realizing my feelings for this other person were a result of a void in my own life I took stock of my situation. I could not believe Jehovah wanted me to be sad and lonely for the rest of my life. I never did anything inappropriate with the man I fell in love with while married to my husband. I decided I would not be a hypocrite. I separated first from the congregation and then from my husband. It was a long and difficult extraction, and not one I wish to relive but one I am relived to finally be moving past. In the end I am at peace with my decision. The consequences of losing everyone who was close to me has been a hard price to pay, but I honestly believe it was necessary. I am not angry or resentful. One of the most critical things in the JW faith is that you are not baptized as a baby, and I respect that as I clearly knew the consequences that came with the decisions I made. I have made wonderful new friends and I am deeply in love with a wonderful man. I am now looking for a religion that practices the love that Jesus spoke about. One that is not judgmental and but kind, empathetic and compassionate. I look forward to the next chapter as I am quite sure there is more to be revealed, more lessons to learn, and more life to live.