I Like Real Shorts

When clothing is required, I wear shorts as often as possible. I don't consider those things that reach the knees shorts. Normal shorts for me are mid-thigh.

I have several tests for shorts to pass. The material has to feel nice. They have to have good pockets. They have to be thin enough for the outline to show. When I stand over a mirror, my goodies must be clearly visible. When I crouch down and part my legs slightly, must be able to see goodies up the leg. If I do a full forward bend at the waist, goodies must be visible from the rear. When I lift my leg in the air, I want a big opening on the inside of my leg. I like when they are translucent enough to see shadows of goodies while walking. Obviously not all shorts meet all the requirements but that's what I look for.

When I want to give a 'show', I'll pick something up or get down to look at something, and make it work in that direction. Getting something off the bottom shelf in a store, climbing onto a bicycle or motorcycle, etc.

I was fixing some friend's lawn mower, beside their house. I was at it for a while then happened to notice a lady looking out the window. But she was far back in the room; I didn't think more of it until I looked again and she was still watching. Then I realized it was the show I was inadvertently putting on in my shorts. So I made sure she got good use of her time. I was looking for her reaction when she abruptly turned away and I saw her husband walk by. Shortly after I saw them leaving. I don't know how she felt but it looked like she enjoyed it as long as she could, and I enjoyed her watching me!


im12lkit im12lkit
51-55, M
1 Response Dec 2, 2012

Me too, I don't consider those ugly baggy garments going down to the knees as shorts. They are not for warm weather and not for cold weather either. And certainly not for swimming. Just unsuitable for anything.

I would even go further than the mid-thigh criteria. My definition of shorts is at least 3/4 of the thigh uncovered. And preferably with a slit on the side, some call them "running shorts".

Unsuitable for anything - that's exactly how I see it.

I like running shorts, too. I've gone out in them a lot. I have to cut out that "underwear" liner, though. That's super uncomfortable. But after that, those things are golden. Except for one thing - pockets. Running shorts don't have 'em and I really like having pockets to put my stuff in when I go out. But I'll wear 'em in the yard or on a bicycle ride. Also on the beach or at the swimming hole.

My criteria used to be 3/4 thigh, but the long shorts (oxymoron) have changed how people perceive what shorts should look like so now I have to go to mid-thigh or else people are shocked.