I Am An Existentialist
i have been struggling with how to live an authentic life and not alienate others. i sit now, on a friday night (peer-pressure at 26?) bec i am terrified of experiencing with my friends the rejection as i have received as of late from my family. yet this is no sob-story, simply a tale of what-the-****. my family is of the narrow-minded sort, and a few years back as i finally found solace in the intellectual arena and felt strong enough to break free of the meaningless repetition of daily, conscious-less life, my family rejected me. the emotional burdens of this happening were too great. i retreated, ran away. i feigned light-hearted interest in their daily affairs in order to avoid the all-consuming question of why- why i do what they do not...
ohhhhh the solitude!!!! cry cry cry. f-that, ya know?
yet, what else am i to do? continue on, android in the making, malfunctioning right beside them?
should i instead live my own life (whatever that means), and risk alienating those precious realtionships which, i suspect, in the end make life worth having lived?
