I Miss the Magic

and the mystery and the sense of awe that once so consummed me as a child now so derided by the adult life ive grown into and secretly despise--hoping that change is around the bend, over the river and through my mind.  

i wondered, as i sat outside for  two hours tonight with three beers and a stray cat what it was exactly i had (have) been yearning for.

the deeper meaning or the lack thereof which drove me to where i am now without direction?

or was it the passion delved deep in the back of my throat blocked by years of unadmissable facts?

either way, i sat.

and stared at the stars.

and noticed how they were looking down on me.

and

laid down

eyes.

wide.

shut.

meeeese meeeese
31-35
3 Responses Jun 17, 2009

As children we are in wonder and awe of everything around us and we do lose some of that as we get older.<br />
<br />
How nice it would be to have a button we could push to restart that process. <br />
<br />
Wait, there is one!<br />
<br />
It is called a personal challenge. <br />
<br />
Children are challenged by everything they do because it is all new and like children we must occasionally challenge ourselves with something completely new and that will develop our lives in a new and fun way.<br />
<br />
learn to play an instrument, write a book, climb a mountain, quit a bad habit, paint a picture, learn a new language, fall in love etc..<br />
<br />
Anything you do that is hard and puts all your mental abilities and possibly physical abilities to the test will rekindle that childhood awe.<br />
<br />
Like children though do not be afraid of failure if it happens and accept it as part of life and find a new challenge but try each challenge with every fiber of your being.<br />
<br />
Do not be satisfied with how your life is or accept that you have accomplished all you can.<br />
<br />
Do not allow accomplishments to be the driving force but allow the challenge of your abilities to be your reason.<br />
<br />
Do not think that accomplishments will fill the void in your life for more than a brief time.<br />
<br />
Then the next time you lay under those stars and wonder about the future and your search for meaning you will be able to look back at the experiences and challenges you have had and feel some sense of satisfaction that fills that void.<br />
<br />
When your personal challenge helps other people to find meaning in their lives it will be even more fulfilling!<br />
<br />
LaMar

mine used to be cigarettes AND beer...

Wow dude, I can really identify with you. Very powerfully written. I am often there myself, except my companion is cigarettes instead of beer.