Craving What Is Not

The world never seems to be enough - I have always longed for a better one, more harmonious, more enchanted. A utopia of culture and dignity, close group of sensitive and deep people around me.
Accepting reality is hard sometimes. I ask myself: Why can't people be more gracious? Why do they always talk about such superficial things? Why is there so much useless conflict? Why can't our money and resources be spent on something more meaningful? And then I see my own negativity and ask, why am I so judgemental? It is unpleasant to be honest with oneself. In my teens I would often just hide my head under the covers and dream of a perfect crystalline world with perfect friends and perfect love.
But it is always better to act on life's dissatisfactions than just complain, even if it's an inner action. Now I'm starting to find that by giving in to the world, accepting what comes to me, there is a warmth and beauty that feels somehow different from what I sensed in all the years of idealising. Learning to love imperfect situations and imperfect people, this is a somehow deeper, more real feeling. It is not just that I gave up on dreams. No, now I have learnt to offer them. Instead of stubbornly clinging on to ideals of perfection as my own unique vision, I allow myself to see them in the world, and try to embody them as best I can, and teach them to others wherever there is the chance. This is where the magic happens, it seems, where dreams are patiently brought to earth.
I still look up at the starry sky sometimes, and ponder how this life might look if that sparkling beauty were down here instead. I hope I never stop cherishing such moments.

noxlucida noxlucida
2 Responses Mar 7, 2010

Totally agree with you. I could have written more or less the exact same thing. But I wonder how great this world would be if everyone gave more thought to the fact that life on earth is only temporary.

Really great story! I'm glad you shared your thoughts and dreams and what you've learned. One of the first things that came to mind about you accepting what IS instead of only dreaming about what you wish would be...."true love is acceptance"---it's acceptance of "all that is, isn't, will be, and will not be". <br />
Glad you're living what you believe! =)