I Am An Idiot

 i keep talking the talk, but somehow, i can't walk the walk. and the clock is ticking. time is running out. and i know it. and here i am, treading quicksand. doing the dog paddle, in a world full of masterful superstrokers. they are leaving me behind.
 i am an anachronism, in a world that does not allow anachronisms. and i know it.
 i am sane, in a world of insanity. somehow i do not fit, even though i should be a building block in this world. and i add nothing as i add my all. i am lost. and going ever more completely insane. life.

Nita427 Nita427
56-60, M
4 Responses Jul 27, 2010

some days are better than others. some days i want to run and hide, and some days i feel like kicking some ***. but then life surprises me, and along comes a gloriously beautiful day. but you're right. i do have to carry on, and i will. <br />
and yes, we all come from the one, no matter how you label it. and to the one we will return. hopefully slightly wiser than when we arrived here. and in my case, slightly wiser than when i arrived here, despite myself.

You have been tapping into the collective consciousness and in particular my own. You have repeated exactly how I feel about myself and the modern world / society in general and my role in the universe which has amounted to a nothing, a waste of time and energy. My only advice is that like me you have to carry on despite whatever **** happens: that makes you something. I can go into a lot of introspective thought and how all experience however bad / good or indifferent is transient like everything else in the universe. One thing you can be sure of: we came from the stars and we will all return to them.

ty darlin. and still i feel insane. i want to cry, but crying does no good. i feel we are lost. and no one is paying attention. or is it no one is paying attention to Nita? i get lost. i am trying. but i do not know if i will ever find a way "out". or should i say "in". i dunno. <br />
the world is going to hell in a hand basket, and sometimes i'm pushing, and sometimes i'm pulling.<br />
here on EP, i am awakening, and need all the help i can get.<br />
<br />

Its the world that has lost it not you my friend. Turn on the TV--Poor Lindsey, shes in jail, Goverments lie to their people, and the people take it out on each other. Bias is everywhere you look--Skin, Sex, Gender, Orientation, Beliefs, Religion, and on and on. Thing is, no one is alike any one else, taking that to the extreme then there should be no countries, no boundries, no co-operation because we are ourselves everything in minature that is the world. That to me is insanity. We need each other and to learn from each other it is only then that we can function as a people.