I Might Be An IA, Why Am I Scared?
A couple hours ago I randomly googled the meaning of repeatedly noticing 11:11 and came across this idea of incarnated angels. I call it an idea for now because I've only just read upon it and am extremely nervous of the fact that I answered positive to almost all of the characteristics.
I'm a 20 year old female. I am in my 3rd year of university and plan on using my science degree to go to law school. I hope to get involved in elderly abuse, and provide a voice for those who's wisdom is underappreciated and disrespected.
I have very large light brown eyes (I only just realized how many comments i get about my eyes, for ex, that i should model them, if i wear colour contacts, i can ask for anything with those eyes, theyre always bright), dark brown hair (naturally) that I've dyed a lighter brown since I was 16, and recently added highlights to as well, I have very prominent hips and I have very child like hands (like cabbage patch dolls, that was my nickname when I was younger), but am average in every other sense body wise, but I think every girl battles with weight fluctuations throughout their life! My lips are full but not large, and they are always red. I prefer my hair as long as possible, and am always struggling with hairdressers to give me what I want and keep in a medium-long length. Actually now that I think about it, last summer I dyed my hair black and cut it short, and those couple months I kept it dark were the worst few months of my life (not implying they're related though!).
I've always felt like I was too mature for my own good, and that I never agreed with the norm but always had everyone's best interests at heart when formulating my opinion. I believe in God, but not religion. I think God is the reason for anything and everything, good or bad. My main take on life is that I wish some people could just see the bigger picture. I don't enjoy doing the same things people my age do but I do them anyway. My past relationships with guys has always been a sort of chase, where I pick out the most odd, unlikely match for myself, but for some reason I find extremely attractive, I figure them out and then move on with no heartache at all afterwards on my part. My friends always confide in me over our other friends, and they continue to do so regardless of the fact that I never have anything to confide in them back. I overspend my time and money on others many times, and have never put any importance to getting something in return. I am extremely sensitive to sun light, and I love heights. I have had a reoccuring dream about a wrong turn onto a life-threatening bridge in the clouds for the past couple years. I also sometimes wake up suddenly at night having felt like I just fell from the ceiling to my bed. I have extremely neat, almost comparable to computer generated hand writing, and I love music that speaks to my soul, no matter what genre of music it is.
Long story short I guess, there's a lot of stuff going on inside my head which I thought was just my introspective personality at its finest, or philosophical interests being displayed, but now I'm thinking they have been pre-wired?
After browsing through many of these articles, I realize that being an incarnated angel is a reality to many of you and I was wondering if anyone could offer any advice on why I feel afraid to fall asleep now that I know? I also feel as though I should write all of my thoughts and beliefs down as if to prove to myself that these thoughts were mine too before I keep discovering that you all feel the same way too. I also feel a little insane, and like I should probably talk to a therapist... without mentiong the IA part. I feel like I've just learnt something that I shouldn't have known, and now that I know, I might become paranoid because I don't know what to do with it. Why me? I feel conceited even considering the idea of all this and feel guilty for even thinking it.
If anyone out there can help me out please do reply! or my msn is firstname.lastname@example.org, I set it up specifically to talk about IAs so please feel free to add me.