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A Reluctant Incarnated Angel

Hi, my name is Robert, I am under the belief that I am an incarnated Angel. How did I arrive at this conclusion? I was born into drug afflicted and emotionally unavailable parents, which  sometimes provide a much quicker learning environment for beings who incarnate. The tumultuous environment supported me never really being grounded, constantly uprooted. In general I think that this has been a theme in my life. I have flirted with several careers and education but nothing has truly fulfilled me. I have always had a feeling of people around me being jealous of me or wanting use and manipulate me all my life. OK, enough with the general stuff that can be probably applied to many the lives of many people incarnate or not. Incidentally, I know now why they say that Angels bow down to the lives of Humans, because it is truly a difficult experience one in which Angels are not familiar due to their deep connection to love and the source. This connection can lead to deep longing, loneliness and disillusionment when forgotten by incarnating to this human experience. Into a world where fellow humans have been the main source of killing each other and the planet they reside in the name of their Ideas about their creator and the resources of the planet they reside, does not resonate to a being who emanates from abundant unconditional love. However, it is not our place to judge as enlightenment can never be a forced process and we have to realize this is a great evolutionary school we are all going through. We are simultaneously a species of Humans evolving(Homo Sapien-Homo Luminous) and different Soul groups(even Angels) evolving many of which have failed their previous test which resulted in the destruction of their planet. OK, enough with my speculative knowledge which intuitively resonates as true. I adopted a lifestyle which was quite hedonistic. I was indulging in drugs and promiscuity, fleeing the constraints of a world and society which  seems alien to my deepest self. Little did I know my methods for escape were keeping me from experiencing my deepest self, in actuality they part of the mass conditioning and programming on this planet to afflict God Consciousness. We all know that there are many different type of beings on this planet right? Some half man and beast resulting from the end of Atlantis, some inter-dimensional, others  just from other stars such as reptilians, Arcturus, Greys and insect type beings. Well, the beginning of my rude awakening I found many insects to be meandering around me, in particular Beatles, spiders, roaches, scorpions,earwigs it is my belief that different beings communicate on a frequency of insects as they are all on a collective consciousness, very popular in Ancient Egypt, Sumeria as well as other cultures. Ever notice how in all the movies they are always highlighting different insects like spiders or different Egyptian deities like Horus and Isis. Anyway, I realized I had all of these infections, legions or bites on my body which were connected kind of like an extra sensory system being built on my body, I realized they used the chemicals of the drugs to feed on, in particular the acid which is produced by the use of the drug, which incidentally is also caused by alcohol, meat, tobacco, processed food and the toxins released from stressful emotions. After the fact, one day I was going through my usual routine of getting high, with various drugs. I noticed a buzzing going off on top of my head it was moving around, my computer going crazy...I knew it to be spider or some insect going of in my head. So, i proceeded to beat this organism out of my head as it was what I knew to be other beings putting me under some sort of program or system manipulating my DNA, so I was quite frantic and a bit paranoid as not knowing what was going to be coming through the door. The police came and said my ex-girlfriend called the police and said she was worried I would harm myself. I explained to them the situation calmly as I regained by bearings and the buzzing on my head stopped after about an hour or so beating it out of my head.(Please I know this sounds a bit crazy, but trust me at that moment I was just as coherent as I am now, stay with me) The police took me in for possession which was dismissed because it was my first offense, but not before spending three days of being psychically tortured.  I was in the cell with different people, isolated at different intervals, they drug-ed me in the medical office, in isolation there was a drug coming through the ventilation system, there were people there that I recognized their voice and demeanor, had been friends of mine but in different bodies(I realize this energy or beings have been around me in some form my whole life) they used intimate details of my life to try to break me down, manipulate me and allow me to be vibrating on this frequency. They put me in crowded cells where the people were sending me energy via releasing gas, deep Flem, or manipulating their genitals.( If you research you will find ego, death, are associated with the lower orifice's and organs)This was not a prisoner only venture, the prison guards at one point had me chained and manually put what I believe to be insects on the crown of my head(Earwigs in Ancient Egypt were believed to burrow into brain)They had me in isolation hooked to chains where I could feel them in the cell over trying to rip my Soul from my body, connected to chains that were electrified and they were trying to get me connect a third one(they could not do it with out my free will or submission of my Spirit), I think to my anus which would run up my spine through my central nervous system, probably some sort of artificial kundalini effect. They briefly lowered the veil and were speaking to me from the other side(4th Dimension) The spirit of an Angel resides in the upper 4th Dimension and Fifth dimensional frequencies or higher. So, basically I was Spiritually raped as the beings entered through the legions on my body, through my lower orifice's, and they looked to completely break me down and have me vibrate on this lower frequency. I saw as I was ripping my flesh it be healed as they used my own nervous system to close the wounds. How did I survive or make it with my energetic system somewhat still in integrity? I used my knowledge and experience of martial arts, yoga, breath, prayer to the highest of high to keep my energy up, however, the depth and degree of what I was doing was coming from a different source, its like how they say sometimes your Spirit kicks in intense experiences other wise you have to cultivate it. In addition I was chanting and at one point it was like a sonic frequency was coming through in which I felt intense power surging through me, almost as if i was calling to the heavens. Since I was released after that three days which seemed like a week, where I was not allowed to see the SUN once, I realized this phenomena was around me everywhere, i had been blind to the spiritual world all around me.In case you were wondering, since I have been completely sober, the phenomena has been persistent. I am under constant astral attack(especially when I sleep) invasion through my lower orifice's, but due to my lifestyle change their effect has been minimized.  Here's the trick my fellow Angels, Elementals, Fairies and such.....there are beings amongst us that vibrate on a lower frequency that enables them to still perceive the spiritual world(kind of like Dogs or Cats) even though they live in stressful environments or lifestyles they can still have access to their third eye and psychic abilities, it has been like this for a long time since the fall of Atlantis....Beings that have a higher frequency intense stress blocks  Spiritual sensibilities as we are of a more pure nature, in addition we are blocked when we do not view things from a standpoint of totality, one in which we do not judge which constricts our mind, develop acceptance, understanding and compassion and realize there are infinite possibilities which all low true creation via our free will . This is why you have seen so much emphasis on negativity and fear in the media, especially now as we are moving closer to the light and an awakening to our true selves. We have deep memories of being persecuted during events like the Inquisition which also block us from being our true selves. So why Angel? I am able to perceive my energy field in motion. Besides that intense experience which a regular Human with tremendous Faith and Strength could have also endured. Since, then I have adopted an intensely spiritual meat, deep cleansing and fasting, wide study of different Spiritual Ideologies Buddhism, Bhavagad Gita, Spiritual Science.....deep into Yoga especially Kundalini, Meditation. Looking to perceive with my heart and not my senses, use my intuition and not my linear logical conditioned mind, All my life people have made mention about my energy in an awkward way, one girl in Junior High school told me don't ever change as if she knew what I was facing in this world as I grow older. Different Spiritual teachers from different paths have been trying to teach me, recruit me  and guide me, making mention of the importance of my mission, outright calling me Angel, reading my subconscious and telling stories or lessons which relate directly to my immediate life experience. Trust me if I could forget this I would...this is where my reluctance comes in, I don't really want to be anything special or different from anyone else. But, the truth is I am.....and we cannot shrug this responsibility that we have taken on before we incarnated just because it is difficult, we must connect deeply to the source so that others who do not feel it as deeply can come to their light, now is the time where our voices will be supported by the cosmos stronger than ever and hearts and minds will be more open ever. We must dig deep inside, release our talents and gifts in this world, representing a higher consciouses, a frequency that has not been present on this planet for a long time, for some of us it is time to Awaken and Remember, for others we must assist in bringing them up to Higher level of Existence, the Earth is Moving, so are we.....No Souls Left behind. There are many agendas, Karmic situations, and Power struggles being played out as we come to the end of Duality on this planet. Brothers and Sisters of the light let us look to no longer be entangled in ongoings of this planet, instead look to stand in our truth beyond time and space and bring the light to this Planet as is the Plan of the Cosmos and the will of our Creator. We must be clear, we must know we are not alone as there are many more of us here both incarnated and hovering in the Spiritual World......We must we have been blessed with the infinite capacity to Love, to create and Manifest. I have read that the creator has sent his best an brightest to usher in the New Age of Peace and a World Unified in Spirit. In the Spirit World we can only influence, here we can actually initiate and affect change. The time is NOW. One Love.      
deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 27, 2010

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I just read a little bit of what you are saying... but I feel so franctic that I cannot read it all before saying anything though we are suppose to listen to others fully... But, darling, I feel like I am in some kind of (external?) paralell reality and I face this beings as you mention in the bodies of the "people" I thought I knew but it is not them. At one time they were very evil and I felt I was being brought to tears and then lately after many "battles" that I have faced and I do not even know how I got out... Things are going a lot milder. Though my body is a constant mess. I feel like somehow I was indued with the task of burning family karma though I am not exactly sure what "family" means for I see spirist and not necesarily with my eyes but they appear as animals too and I know that often the animals that surround me are not necesarily that... I was at a church and I underwent some kind of galaxy WAR it was "fantastic" a great material for a movie though yours must be better. There was when I started to see all this strange things including elementals? (fairies?) living in my body and somehow I do not know who goes to church for surely they were not human though they may be possessing or taking on the shape of human beings. Your story is fascinating hopefully I will read or maybe not for my schedule is crazy I do as "the Holy Spirit" guides me everyday... Indeed I do not have a job. I cannot keep a job. My body gets nausated just thinking of the idea of getting a job and at the same time I discover so many things everyday and I do not know how to let other knows about it. I beleive I do have my students though for I always thought of becoming a teacher or somehow a spiritual guide or at least a writter. I just thought lately that I inherited the "shamanic vein" in the family. Again, I do not know what family. For I do not see my ancestors at least not early ancestors as Atlanteas, great magicians or shamans and that is just the feeling I get in the middle of the strange reality of devas, devils, elementals, shadows, diseased, doubles, clones... I certainly lost the tray of what I was doing in this planet. I am living in some kind of alternative reality doing shamanic work in a very particular, modest and personal way. My biggest work happens as I sleep at night and I know I only remember that which I am allowed to for I know sometimes seem to have been far away. At times even family members have been so strange that I do not know who they were. But the conclusion so far has been that the devils were not trying to harm me maybe they were simply scaring me to help me move from dangerous places or at least from situations where I was harming myself spiritually like wasting me away in church by allowing my spirit flow for I started to do spontaneous mudras and dancing, singing in the spirit, speaking in unknown tongues, spirits summon into my body, etc. One day I was in church where a lot of weird things happened and I was told that "the veil had been removed" and from then on reality was never the same to me and my "pastors" were never the same either and just the whole of my reality broke appart and my body became very sick (toxic?). I was wasting away and nothing I ate I could digest and all food tasted to all kind of weird things like soap or fertilizers. How could that be? Now I am abusing food but back then all food was just a horrible thing when I knew within myself that I did not need food to be alive though I still could not go over the idea. i even tried to stop eating but my fast did not last more than five days. Really. I just hope you are also a "human" or at least an apsara (which I have been somehow lead to beleive I am) and not one of those evil or weird creatures that I simply do not know who they are. For I beleive there cannot be evil it is only that we do not speak the same language and cannot understand each other, so that when I see a certain evil at church I know I am not allowed to enter for it is not right for me to be there and as my Sathya says one loves a tiguer for it is God's creation but you do not go and hug a tiguer for we still have certain rules in the universe... Just to make things fun in my opinion... But lately I just hope go home. I thought I was to meet my soulmate, my twinflame for I was guided over every many different theories, profecies and religions and I was told that it all existed and that I simply had to choose where I wanted to be. So far I have chosen to live in a dimension where I am no longer or at least the minimun afraid of attracting disease. I know now I am not sick and that whatever my body is having is temporal penance for past karma or some kind of energetic invalance or just that I am temporarily hosting some entity or spirit with a different taste for food other than mine. I am not much afraid of germs anymore. I do not use soap but to eventually remove grease or a day I want a little perfume in my body and it may be once a month. I do not use toothpaste and I rarely touch my toothbrush just to discover that I do not have a bad breath and that my teeth only seem dirty when I eat certain food like cookies or dairy in which case I simply use water and my fingers to remove any dirt. I said I cannot keep a job for every time it seemed I was fighting evil itself. My father passed away and left a little pension and I know that it was planned in heaven so that my mom and I could survive by just going after what we needed and not fancies that are not other than things we falsely think we need but when we think about it deeply we realize we don't and there are always ways to save money that we had never thought before. I have no fancies other than enjoy food that after all does not need to be expensive for very simple food proves to be delicious with God's grace for as I said for a time all food spoilt it my kitchen and tasted to all kind of things that were certainly not food at all. I love you.

I am ready for whatever may come.... I am noticing a lot of friends and family gravitating toward me and seeking guidance through difficult situations here, on Earth. I want to reach further and help more people, especially the youth of this world.

I have also perceived these "beings" have always been with me using different people and boides and that was the reason why people used to be very nice to me for most of my life though I myself rejected the love I received by beleiving myself being unworthy of so much love when others seemed doomed to much misery. Who are they? Why some of them have been present for so long and indeed harmed my feelings many times? I have learned that experiences repeat until you grasp the lesson in it but there are certain situations that I thought they would be no more but they hunt me everytime. I guess some lessons are hard to get. I live with my mother and seven pets that undoubtly would really prove my point when I say chihuhuas are extraterrestrials. Jaja.

wow! that's a wild story!

I was drawn towards this post by my invisible guides. Yes this is such a wild story and though I understand for I have had many awckward experiences. Once I asked for a certain person and I was told this person was a "spider" for I was shown this big spider before me (and nothing is by chance in my case!) and I thought it was all symbolic. Then just recently I was smoking this kind of arabic pipe at a party (beleive me I have never felt drawn to any of it but I felt like by doing so I would produce some kind of reaction among my old classmates who had always taken me for an example... though they were not my old classmates!) and when I got to my aunt's home where I was staying a big spider appeared in the kitchen though it was of a different sort so that I related the animals to smoking! And I have made relations between other animals and people. I do not know why this all happened to you but surely you must have given up on the way you were living after having this otherwordly and somehow traumatic experience (surely it was traumatic). In my case I was having all kind of day-dreams about a better world, the uplifting of humanity, healing and miracles of all sorts through the means of a great revival in pentecostal church and then all my world and hopes crumbled before my eyes in just one day as the veiled was purposedely removed and I wasted away as if I were to die and it ran for a couple of months where I seem to live in a very different dimension surrounded by creatures that showed no love or appreciation for the Lord (in any form) anymore but that seemed otherwise really distressed when I cried out at religious reunions (indeed before me was being put on a play for a certain purpose). I never understood clearly but it was the only means available to shake me up (and ground me!) and that is how I started questioning every single idea or concept I grew up beleiving in like vaccination, germs, environmentalism, natural medicine, God, religion, pastors, church, etc. and just all that I ever thought was right or wrong.