Am I An Earth Angel? Why Is My Heart Telling Me Yes But My Mind Is Teling Me No?
Wow where do i even begin....first I want to say that I am trying to find others that are like myself either well past finding themselves or on their way as myself or on the cusp of awakening....My whole life ive felt diffrent, like i never belonged here out of place.....as i grew older into my adult years i still felt the same way but a little more fit into the society that we are in now. But now with a heavy feeling that I am supposed to be doing something that i had a mission or a big purpose for being here. things here in my life started not to matter, i went to diffrent school and changed diffrent majors cuz i didnt know what i wanted to do but everything i tried i didnt like. On Janurary of 2011 which i call my awakening, everything in my life changed out of the blue i started on some obssesed search on the internet for answers that i had no idea what the questions where. One Day a GF at the time gave me a book about Pleadians and i started to read it....like out of knowwhere a switch came on like i sudden wave of remembering certain things that i was reading and conferming other things i thought in my mind about life, about this world, and all of us in it. So then i found the Galactic Federation of light a dn so on and so forth...then just recently i came upon a video about Earht Angels, or Incernated Angels....then i saw a video of 10 ways or symptoms to tell if your an Earth angel.....lo and behold every one of the symptons was me to a T, it was like this person was describing me in order and knew me better than anyone ever would. I started to get happy at first cuz i knew...i alwasy knew there was somehting byond to what This form is, I always felt that there was more to me than this and that there was somehting that made me diffrent from so many......but then "reality hit" Now of course I began to doubt any of this cuz I watch way to many movies and was into comic book heros and all that kind of stuff, plus not to mention i have a very creative inmagination and i am always coming up with ideas, stories, and charachters.I told a friend about this he knows me better than anyone on the planet. He watched the video and was not convinced yeah neither was I i mean it could be a coincidence....Then a few days later i found a web page article that had a listings of lightworkers, starseeds, earth angels and other beings and ways to tell if you are any of them.....and guess what Danny was 10 for 10 again and these were even more descriptive than that video i saw.....this is insane these peopl eknew my inner thoughts n feelings and thigs that have happened in my life....this cant be a coincidence.....still nto convinced even as i write this ut i am starting to look back at my life and realizing the life i lived and the beliefs i had and how i choose to live my life.....Ever since i could remember LOVE was the most important thing to me...........and as i began to grow into a teenager i felt like i was waiting or searching for someone, and even to this Day i am seaching for this someone..this has been an exhausting and frustrating search. Ive been hurt many times, mainly for being in bad relationships or staying in them when i should have left but never could. But to me nothing is more important than love and was always so confused as to why so many poeple dnt feel thatway...To me all i wanted to do was love and give love to others and help others, give others peace and happiness...but most of all i wanted my soulmate, the one i have been looking for for so long......The one that i i feel will make me whole cuz this whole time i have felt incomplete and lost...or left behind.....upon doing some more reaserch i learned about Twin flames and their connection to the Angels and more and more my actions my feelings and beliefs are starting to make sense......More and more htings are pointing to his direction but i cant tell if its cuz its real or im trying to make it real.....i alwasy loved the hero in movies, or shows, and my fav were the comic book heros i was in awe at these charachters not just cuz of their abilities but just for what they stood for, there moral charachter and selflessness to give to others....and sometimes the burden and weight that comes with it...I realted to them and decided i wanted to a live a life like them and follow the Heros Code....I also had such a fascination even to this Day about Jesus and wanted to give and hold love in my heart as he did.....so for most of my life that is how i decided to live....and to me there was nothing ore important than love still till this day and till the day i day....as i hit puberty i saw boys were more caught up with more of the sexual while i stll looked for romance and sweet gentle love growing crushes on girls and doing sweet tings like leaving them candy at their desk or leaving them secret admirere letters.... And still till this day i havent changed and have been made fun of by many of my male frinds for how i dont just go out and have unemotional sex .......thats another thing ...i dont have sex unless im in love.....I guess i hsould say i dont have sex I only make Love.....I also started to look and realize the impressions i have made o fpoeles lives and hwta i have done for them with the love i have given them and more and more all this makes sense.....then why cant i believe it still.....why do i feel like i am unworthy when i am probably very....Why do i feel like ther is no way but at the same time i feel i can stand tall and say What I am......Im loosing touch with REality cuz all that i thought to be real is not.....Im torn between two worlds.....and all i can do is think to where is my other half, is she feeling the same way....is she looking for me and feeling the weight of this world as i do.....Im tired of seeing people suffer, im tired of seeing and feeling pain.......Why are there people starving, Why are people full of hate and so many who care not for LOVE....Ive gotten to the point were anger consumes me cuz i feel like i cant take it anymore...i feel i dont do enough and there is more i shoudl be doing....All i want is the truth, i dont want no more games and lies.....TELLL ME DAMMIT AM I AN ANGEL OR AM I JUST SOME CRAZY GUY THAT LOST HIS MIND : (...I want the one i have been searching for for GOD knows how long......When will i find her, when will i have all that i dreamed of but have yet to feel......I dont know what to do but all i will do is what i have alwasy done....and thats is to give love to all i meet and to somehow get them to do that as well onto others....im trying to start a domino effect.....But i feel what i do is not enough......i just ned to know the truth dont need anymore signs that i get....i need it in writing right in front of me.....im sorry for ranting but this has been so heavy on me and i just have noeone to talk to about this......why cant i just find her....why cant i help all of those that suffer and why am i the onle so blessed to not be in such misery while others are....thgs arent fair and i dont understand why : ( . there is so much more i want to say but righ now this has just turned into an emotional rant.....i know im not the only one going through this i just need an idea of what am i supposed to do.......and If i am an angel im def not your ordinary one lol cuz i cus like a sailor and am not as gentle as the ones on the christmas cards...but my heart is as pure as virgin beaches......I hope to hear from a Brother or Sister soon....thankyou for reading this if you haveand i wish you luck on your journey...Light and Love....carry that with you always and pass the torch so that they may do the same. Thank you again