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I Miss You Daddy

On February 17 my mom said " I need to talk to you" she brought me into my bedroom. She looked upset. She then told me than my Daddy had shot himself. Eversince that day I had been depressed. Then one day, I thoughr to myself that he didn't love me. I needed my dad and he left. Me and my dad were super close but now I know, it was just an act. I still love you daddy I never stop thinking about you even though your only a painful memory
imanangel123 imanangel123 13-15 3 Responses Nov 20, 2012

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Hi Angel,

To lose a parent this way is hard.

I was 9 YO. Different circumstance yet the same.

To face this part of life so young is very hard. So many questions you will have and never get answers too. Just never let go of the love you have for him.

Just be aware as you age that you don’t look for this love from other boys/men. They will never fill this love as it is very different.

Some people look on us differently because our dads did this act, don’t worry about them be with your grief.

Live the best life you can for him.

Still love him....

Sweetie, I'm sure your father really loved you. When people are in total despair over something, all they want is for the pain to end. He just wanted to escape whatever was tormenting him. If you were in extreme physical pain, you would probably just want the pain to stop and you wouldn't think of anything else. Emotional pain can be similar in that way. He just wanted his suffering to end and he didn't stop and think how it would affect others. He wasn't being rational, but I'm fairly certain that if he had stopped to think of how it would affect you, he wouldn't have gone through with it. I'm sure it had nothing to do with you. Your mom probably knows something about what was on his mind because wives often know what's going on with their husbands. Is there any possibility of talking this over with your mother and asking her what caused your dad to take his own life? Are you close with your mother?

The fact that he shot himself does not mean that he did not love you. I am shure that he did.
Sometimes when despair grabs a soul, it can make it do things without any sense.
When we are feeling great despair, we do not think right. Despair grabed your father, and made him do something that has no sense. The brain acting under despair...
It made him do someting unreparable, without thinking of the consequence on the people he LOVES.

The suicide of your father has nothing to do with you. Don't change all your ideas on him because of this.
Remember the good days with your father, and don't let the gest he did in despair change the love that you both had in good times.

Suicide is very hard to understand.
It will take time to heal your family, but stick togheter and love each other.