Bad Visions And Bad Dreams

All my visions and all my dreams seem to be visions and dreams of/about death. I know why. I have been down death's doors and come back from them. I don't want to travel the roads of death anymore. Running away only leaves me one option: death. So I think often I should just kill myself. No one believes I will. But the traveling and the nightmares are too much for me. I think I should just end it.

I think I'm having past life recall about death and dying. I'm pretty sure death is the reason why I have so much anxiety. I've been thinking about seeing a past life regressionest.

Yet. If I do solve my problems I'll likely slip away to hell just as things have been and always have been going for me.

Yes, it's about f-ing time I posted somethings in this group!
With Love,
-Chaff