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Mother Seduced Me At 15

I am an ****** survivor.  I was seduced by my drunk mother when I was 15.  We had sex many, many times over the years until she died.  I have felt guilty because I totally enjoyed it even though I knew it was wrong at the time.
bonanza96s bonanza96s 70+, M 34 Responses Dec 12, 2007

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I had sex with m cousins and sster. I feel some guilt, but the funny thing is as i feel the guilt I get an ersction and beat off.

You man with needs she like and you

I think it is natural to enjoy sex with yr mother. I have not had sex with mine because she said No. but I was very stronly attracted to her at 17. when we went swimming together each day. I know she wanted to but thought better of it. We have been very close since then <br />
It is natural, I am part of her . I lived inside her I am hers. <br />
Dont feel badly

It is interesting to me the effects that childhood seductions have on different people. It is a shame that so many have all those guilty feelings for lifetimes. It was never their fault, but sometimes the guilt comes from the fact that they enjoyed it very much and sometimes the shame comes from the anger of being raped in an unloving way. Except for a female who was three years older than me at the time,(she was 8 or), I wasn't abused by family members. Truthfully, I wish my mother had introduced me to making love and I was very envious of my dad's hugh penis but I never tried anything and they didn't behave that way toward me. When I was 14, my mother had a miscarriage while at home and since I was the only one there to help, she called for me and explained what was happening to her, then she told me what to expect and what I needed to do to help her which involved getting clean towels and help her as she delivered what looked like a promotional football tossed out at college games, but covered entirely by small blood vessels. As she struggled to deliver this tumor, I took a towel as she instructed and caught the thing as she lay in her bed and maintaining her calm demeanor. I wrapped in a towel and then mom took additional towels and padded herself firmly to stop the blood. She wanted to see it and then she thanked me for helping her and asked that I take the think out and still wrapped in the towel and buried it as she had instructed. I had already checked for her since she had asked and she was no longer bleeding, then I had brought her a clean watch cloth and a plan of warm water and new bar of soap. Mom cleaned herself up with my help and then in an hour or so, my step-dad came home.<br />
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When my step-father arrived home, he made sure that she had stopped bleeding and since it was late, she couldn't go to the hospital until the next day. We lived on a farm far out in the country. The next day, Mom went and got a D & C at the hospital and in a day she was up and going about her duties. <br />
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No the experience wasn't sexually arousing even though that was the first adult woman's ***** I had ever seen. I remained calm because she did and I haven't experienced any shock, shame or regrets about it. My mother and I were no closer after that event than we had been before that day. I had been burying her miscarriages from before the age of 5 years old. Although, until this day, she had always taken care of the event and placing the remains in a pint fruit jar and sealed it with a screw on lid, then wrapped a small towel around the jar to protect me from viewing it. Of course, being a curious kid, I always unwrapped each one and looked at it to see what it looked like. Then I dug a hole and buried it just like I did that day when I was 14. So why do I wish she had introduced me to lovemaking, because I was so extremely shy that I couldn't even talk to a pretty girl until I turned 17 and got my first girlfriend. I gained enough confidence through her kisses and heavy petting to be able to have the confidence to date other girls and after my first bumbling wham bam intercourse with a later girlfriend, my extreme and painful shyness disappeared. I have often wondered if my mom or an aunt or even an older cousin had taught me the art of love and how to please a woman, I would have had a lot more self confidence throughout my life. I was 40 when my mother died and she was always mom and I wish we had been closer so that we could have been adult friends so we could have talked with each other as adults instead of just mother and son, where she was always the strong mother figure and I was still her baby boy in her mind even though I had sons of my own by that time. She has been gone for over 20 years and I still wish we could have had a closer relationship and I guess I believe had we become lovers I might have known and been closer to my mother throughout my lifetime. But it never happened!

Do not worry about it. We feel close to our mothers because we werepart of her Many of us have incestuous desires I certainly do. It is natural. You enjoyed it because it was good sex. We all like good sex. Men do seduce drunk women It just happens. It happens at parties. Sex esire is very str0ng and hard to resost Some women tempt and tease.

Yeah, give us some intimate accounts................ :)<br />
LOL

It seems so natural, so desirable, so exciting, forbidden fruit tastes good

My aunt and Grandmother would take me shopping at second hand stores and made me try on girls clothes, They'd sometimes buy some for me and afterwards, I'd have to dress up ion them. I remember I didn't like the taste of lipstick or how itchy the eye liner was. My aunt would take pictures fo me or take me to her friends houses. They would look at me and say things about how cute I looked. Some of the male friends would ask me to sit with them and they'd either fondle me all over or kiss me on my cheek and face.Sometimes there'd be times there's be another kid or two and they'd make us play together. It was cool until some of the girls would start crying. Some of the boys would play along like me, but we would get tired. We were facinated by seeing ourselves in pictures or home movies, though. It was just a regular thing we didn't talk about. My grandmother continued to be mean to me, though. Not all the time or always, I do remember all of them getting arrested and going to jail for apparently what we were doing all these years when I was 12 or so. I was beginnign to suspect from what I was hearing in school and church that what had been going on all my life wasn't typical or may even be a little wrong, LOL. I was placed into state protective services then. It wasn't the criminal sex place one would think, though. As I got older, I got into trouble playing with some foster kids, neighbors and such. They made me see a shrink about it a few times. I continued until I was 16 andI guess I just grew out of it and went on to other things. I personally wouldn't ever hurt a child or do anything that could cause them to be screwed up.

Did you **** her ? Once Or just many times ?<br />
LOL

That is not abuse for most teen boys!

My mother wanted me to have sex with her and I now dont give a **** about it.................... :)<br />
LOL

It took many years before I knew I was not alone in my feelings about this. I too was sexually abused as a young boy, and was confused for years about being excited by my memories. I hate that! I still am aroused by them. I even went as far as to meet someone I had chatted with online who agreed to play out my childhood experiences, and all those feelings came flooding back again, so that was a bad idea!

It took many years before I knew I was not alone in my feelings about this. I too was sexually abused as a young boy, and was confused for years about being excited by my memories. I hate that! I still am aroused by them. I even went as far as to meet someone I had chatted with online who agreed to play out my childhood experiences, and all those feelings came flooding back again, so that was a bad idea!

It happened to me, and the best thing I can say is IF someone, (anyone), has hurt you, If you can get outright revenge then do so, but once you've done that; or even if you cant, get on with your life<br />
and make as big a Success of it as you can........... ( And make damn sure it Dosn't happen to your kids ) <br />
because if Anyone has hurt You, <br />
it sure '****** em off ' something awfull if you 'do Well' in your life.........................<br />
PLEASE RE-READ THIS................................. :)<br />
LOL

If you have an open mind, and seek help please email me at advanpropcons@aol.com<br />
<br />
I have communicated with hundreds of survivors. I know the common issues they share. <br />
<br />
I have my own ideas how they can find solace, how they can heal, how they gain control over their past. <br />
<br />
I can tell you right now that must survivors who try to bury their past and just move on rarely succeed. Abuse creates anger. That anger can either be turned inwards where it turns to self-hate and leads to depression, self-punishment, lonliness, and isolation. Or that anger can be directed outwards where survivors hurt those they love, their lovers, their pets, their children, their employers. Directed outwards that anger can turn survivors into sociopathic criminals. <br />
<br />
Then anger of survivors is like a lake of magma below a volcano. Survivors who bottle-up their emotions, and repress them fnd they fester beneath the surface and build up pressure till their anger erupts like a volcano. It takes a lot of mental energy to repress that anger and to-keep it bottled-up where it eats away the survivor from the inside out. <br />
<br />
If you allow me, I can help you release your anger directing it and channeling it outward without hurting anyone, and at the same time help you forgive your perp.

even though I'm bi-sexual I've often thought about sex with my female cousins but never the males

I am a child and domestic abuse survivor, as well as a mother of a sexually abused child. I am writing a book about ALL types of abuse to others know they are not alone in their struggle. My intention is to inform others where there is prevention, education, and support.<br />
<br />
Education + Awareness = Prevention. I am inviting you to use my book as a platform share your testimony that will your contribution to spreading awareness. For your help I am giving a book; providing you pay the delivery. Authors may use their real name or be anonymous. I prefer 1200 words but will allow up to 1500.<br />
<br />
I hope you will join me and the many other men, women, and organizations who are assisting me in my quest.<br />
<br />
If you go http://sherry123456789.xanga.com/ I have extensive information, which includes letters of support from other professionals and samples of my writing. Or you may email: burt222@hotmail.com <br />
<br />
I look forward to your reply ans I would be greatful for your help. . <br />
<br />
Respectfully<br />
Sherry Clyburn

why do you feel guilty? you shared a wonderful part of life with someone you love. You enjoyed the sex and you gave her plesaure. Would it matter if you had sex with Suzy next door?<br />
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You feel guilty because society has told you it was wrong. There are other societies that permit ****** from WILLING participants. If you lived in a different state you would not feel this way.

Some of the responses here are absolutely ridiculous.<br />
<br />
Men with a mommy fetish are trying to invalidate the pain that this man feels because it interferes with their fantasy.<br />
<br />
I'm someone who has experienced ****** as well, though not in a negative way. My experiences were with my sister and were consensual and between equals. One of my past girlfriends had a similar relationship with her cousin and she knew of a brother and sister who were involved as well. These relationships are a far cry from a situation in which a parent is using their position of authority to manipulate their son or daughter into a sexual relationship which the latter neither has the maturity to consent to, nor the power to refuse. <br />
<br />
Someone else mentioned pedophiles here, and they were right I think. The topic of ****** seems to attract pedophiles, and I can only conclude that it is because molesting children in their own families is far easier and safer than abusing other kids. They are sick and evil and the world would be a much better place if they were not a part of it. Were every single ********* to drop dead today, I think it would do a lot to remove evil from the world.

Some of the responses here are absolutely ridiculous.<br />
<br />
Men with a mommy fetish are trying to invalidate the pain that this man feels because it interferes with their fantasy.<br />
<br />
I'm someone who has experienced ****** as well, though not in a negative way. My experiences were with my sister and were consensual and between equals. One of my past girlfriends had a similar relationship with her cousin and she knew of a brother and sister who were involved as well. These relationships are a far cry from a situation in which a parent is using their position of authority to manipulate their son or daughter into a sexual relationship which the latter neither has the maturity to consent to, nor the power to refuse. <br />
<br />
Someone else mentioned pedophiles here, and they were right I think. The topic of ****** seems to attract pedophiles, and I can only conclude that it is because molesting children in their own families is far easier and safer than abusing other kids. They are sick and evil and the world would be a much better place if they were not a part of it. Were every single ********* to drop dead today, I think it would do a lot to remove evil from the world.

Not that your comment isn't valid and a good one I would like to clarify one thing and I am not doing it to justify or validate any particular behavior. A ********* is a person that is attracted to young children, a child molester is a person that actually has inappropriate contact with young children. Many pedophiles never actually have any inappropriate contact so they are not child molesters. Also, a child abuser may not be having any sexual interaction with a child but is causing physical or verbal abuse which is very harmful as well. I only say this from what I have learned as a Volunteer Children's Advocate.

You've got NOTHING to feel guilty about! <br />
Pleasure is where you find it.<br />
Your mother enjoyed it.<br />
You enjoyed it.<br />
Your mother needed pleasure and you provided it.<br />
That is the ultimate act of love!

The same thing happened to me only it was my older sister, it went on for about 2 years. I liked but felt guilty?

I call it "Jesus Guilt." In every instance of loving ****** I have never seen a single harmful consequence. <br />
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The so-called "survivor as a victim syndrome" seems to be an outgrowth of two different types of action, force or coercion messes up a young kid's mind big time. Also the damned Christians with their "God must regulate everything and we are the only ones who know what God wants." I believe Jesus guilt is the worst and hardest to overcome because it strikes at the basest parts of our personalities and there is nothing tangible to fight against.<br />
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That is my opinion and everybody is entitled to it.

You have nothing to feel guilty about. The majority of us, male and female have had incestuous thoughts and urges. It is a part of nature. So you acted on them and had fun. So what? Good on you.<br />
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You cannot help it your mother was a drunk. You cannot help it that sex feels great. But you might remember that you made another person feel good too.

"Different strokes" does NOT, and should NEVER be applicable to ******. ( Hmmm, I think I smell pedophiles in here... ) And, by the way, I don't know ANY kid that WANTS to be abuse by a parent. Just because someone appears to be successful, and happy, doesn't mean they are, and it sure as hell doesn't mean they weren't affected by the abuse. Look at me - I own my own home, am a foreman in the Union, and get to travel the country on jobs, but secretly, I am a ******* mess. ( Although, I am less of a mess these days, thanks to therapy, and AA. ) CHILD SEX ABUSE HURTS - PERIOD. It doesn't matter if you are male, or female. Bad memories, are bad memories, and nobody wants them. Anyone that pitches that "Aw, it wasn't THAT bad" **** is just kidding themselves, or trying to kid someone else. Facing the truth, of just how bad it really was, and how much you desperately wanted it to be different, takes a lot of courage. It's hard, as a guy, to admit that someone hurt you, and you couldn't do a damn thing about it.

Inasmuch as I have has similar experiences, I do not judge one way or the other. One of my cousins in Oklahoma has had sex with her two sons starting at 12 or 13. They went on and got married and both hold down good jobs so all I can say is different strokes...

Do not worry about your past. It happened. You enjoyed it. It brought both of you pleasure. Most of all, you realized the fantasy of over half the male population.

Do not worry about your past. It happened. You enjoyed it. It brought both of you pleasure. Most of all, you realized the fantasy of over half the male population.

Do not worry about your past. It happened. You enjoyed it. It brought both of you pleasure. Most of all, you realized the fantasy of over half the male population.