Insidious

I am 46 now but when I was around 7 or 8 I can remember my "Dad" placing my hand on his genitals after he would come out of the shower. My Mother was not around because he would wait until she was at work. It wasn't until a few years later that he worked his way up to performing oral sex on me. The sick and insidious part of it all was that I enjoyed it. I became hyper sexual. I was ************ alot. It was all so weird to me at 11 and 12 years of age. I kept my distance from "Dad" not knowing how far he would take it. I had such resentment towards him and always looked at him with disgust. Our family went through life as if we were normal. "Dad" passed away 10 years ago. On his death bed he sort of acknowledged his part in the ******. I had a discussion with my Mother shortly thereafter about the ****** and she did not believe me nor disbelieve me. She wanted to know why I did not say anything earlier if it was so bad. Typical, the victim get's victimized again.
omsims omsims
46-50, F
2 Responses May 7, 2012

Yes, the sad thing in many times the guilt involve particularly if the person enjoyed some of the physical sensations. You are the child so you do not know what is going on and your body reacts. It is many times the guilt that really works on you. It does help to talk to someone about it.

add me honey so we can talk about it