Solitary Figures, Escapists, Dreamers...

To be an INFJ is a mixed bag.  INFJs are graced with amazing powers of insight and intuition.  We have expansive imaginations and can see things most others cannot.  We can read other people like books, and know when we are being fooled.  We are spiritualists at heart, necessarily close to the Almighty and often privy to universal secrets.  It is the personality of the artist, the writer, the preacher and the prophet.

But the price for such knowledge is solitude.  It is the flip side of the INFJ coin.  For there are few who understand us, and many who's actions and intentions -- easily read by the INFJ -- produce deep pain in us.  For we understand others better than they understand themselves, and know all too well the evil that lurks in the shadows of the human heart.

When we are taken advantage of, or deceived (which does not happen often, but it does happen), we suffer powerful mental bruises that take time to heal, often too much time.  It is difficult to make friends, because we expect perfection in relationships when such perfection can never exist -- and we are quick to defend ourselves when we sense that those we have chosen as friends and associates may be acting in ways which may harm us. 

We find refuge in ourselves, but still ache for human connection.  To us, life contains so much that is wonderously mysterious; and yet we will never be able to share that sense of wonder. 

Incidentally, a website like EP is every INFJ's dream!
Seraph1m Seraph1m
26-30, M
18 Responses Dec 25, 2007

I only like the confessions. because of my incredibly solitary existence, it gives that bubbling voice deep within some solace...

Not many people understand the pain of the INFJ, I've found. It can be incredibly hard to connect with others while remaining true to myself, because they often cannot see, grasp, or refuse to acknowledge aspects of me that are beyond their comprehension or awareness... if that makes sense. I tell myself I can't be THAT unique... And yet, sometimes I feel like I am.

So many aspects in your post sounds so familiar, reassuring and true.
Thanks for sharing.
"Incidentally, a website like EP is every INFJ's dream! " - This is so true :D

This kind of reminds me of empaths but with a few differences

I just took a test. I got infp so close. Oh well everyone's different

How would one know they are a INFJ?

uh, well I got ISFJ...

Close! You're just as good, but logic and sensory based as opposed to defaulting to intuition. You're your own rare bird : )

Yea, I guess. Everyones got something.

1 More Response

Incidentally, a website like EP is every INFJ's dream! I like that comment. :) Thank you for sharing your insights.


I think I need to be here :)

Beautifully said! I especially relate to your first paragraph. We have that sixth sense- I have totally freaked my family out by telling them exactly what is going to happen before it does. I just know. And I can sense things of the divine nature...that's another story I think I'll share soon. I love being an INFJ!

I think "freaking people out" may be why we INFJ's retreat to a less social form of interacting with others. Only letting people in close when they can accept the weird "intuitive mastermind" in us.

You hit the nail on the head! Also EP is like my dream i love it here lol.

Here here. Incredibly well said. If that doesn't hit the nail right on the head!... Thank you for this!

Wow...Is feels good to know there are so many of "us!" :)

i am an ENTJ... just nearly... really in the middle of I and E. i adore INFPs and my younger sister is one. we are estranged right now, but i miss her so much. we used to best friends. i thought that we complimented eachother really well, like yen and yang.<br />
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honestly, sometimes i think that my label does not tell the whole story about me because i am a huge believer in intuition and feeling... gut reactions... things we can't quite explain. ...the sixth sense.<br />
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honestly, like a libra's libra, i endeavor to be in the middle of the spectrum on everything in myers/ briggs. i like to taste and experience life from all different perspectives-- learning as much as i can... feasting on information and learning-- appreciating a perspective that might differ from mine and learning from it.<br />
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can i understand you? i don't know. my experience with my sister may indicate that i'm lacking... but i do appreciate you and the flavor that you bring to Life.

Loved your post. Can really identify.

Well-said. I agree completely. I think only we INFJ's can understand this. It's not elitism, either. It's kind of like being somewhere others have not. Like Frodo, in LOTR. He wasn't better, necessarily. He just carried a burden that others didn't or couldn't. As a result, his fate was different. Or maybe playing a musical instrument is a better comparison. Only a musician can appreciate and understand another musician. As with many things, it takes one to know one.

Hi,<br />
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Really good to hear from another INFJ. I think its really hard being an INFJ. what is your enneagram personality type?<br />
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You had to go and ask a question like that. How am I to resist? Apparently type 8 the Leader for me. Though I tend to be just as equally split between type 1,4,5&amp;6. That might just be typical for INFJ's though because we tend to be very broad in our functional ranges.

As an INTJ I dont find that many others find my interests in philosophy, art, politics or the Divine particularly interesting to them. And I too value the insights of other INTJs but also need to withdraw, maybe observe but not continuousy participate. While I love people and find the human race fascinating, I never feel lonely - even if I'm alone for days.

You could be my official spokesperson

This description made me think of a book I read a few yrs back. <br />
It's called "Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics", by Marsha Sinetar. <br />