As a teenage infj...

It's not really surprising that I'm INFJ. Found out this year from taking psychology class because I was interested in human behavior. Also thanks to Criminal Minds tv show :) Funny that it's one of the infj behavior to be observative of others, because that's why I was interested in learning more. From the fact that I set high standards, have little close friends, happens to understand people really well, and feel like I never really fit in, I wasn't surprised one bit. For some people, me included, I was quite intrigued and surprised that most of the information about infj is accurate. I thought it was because of my life experiences, but apparently I was like that all long. :/ huh...

I find that it's not always a great thing being unique...knowing that most people you meet on a daily basis is not infj. It's nice to have a variety, but still. Most of the time, even if I have lots of friends and we chill together, I feel like I don't fit in. There's just something about try to see what's the problem, but you just can't find what's wrong. Don't get me wrong, it's not that bad. I don't really mind because most of the time I live in my head pondering about life and things that goes on in my head. Another thing is that you're cautious about who you're friends are and don't really trust people too well. Well, for me I've been let down many times, so it's just one of those things where you don't want to be disappointed and get hurt. Eh, there's nothing I can really do about it. Takes time. Most of the time, I feel lonely. Can't find a person to relate to, no one that'll understand what I'm going through and why I'm the way I am. Can't really talk to anyone because you don't have lots of people you trust and can just tell everything, and they don't understand. Frustrating. I find the best way to let it out is by writing. Just pour everything out; it's easier that way.

It's alright to be who you are. Nothing wrong. Just have to accept it and make the best out of it. Sometimes being too harsh on yourself isn't good. I know. Just makes life more depressing that it already is and makes you guilt-ridden too because of all the things you can't forgive yourself when you can easily forgive others. I forgive myself more often, and not dwell on it, compared to back then. Once you understand yourself better, you'll become more open and more...happy? I don't know, but I'm more relaxed and way more talkative and outgoing. Just tweaked a few standards here and there, now my life's...happier and chilled. Though it still frustrates me that I don't try really hard. Also, trying to strive for your goals, and not to please others is important. Honestly, most of my life I was like that (I haven't lived that long, but enough...) I tried to please others and always trying to do what they want, I suppose...It's not that fulfilling...Sometimes you get pressured into doing things you don't want, but that also contradicts what you want (pleasing them). Ugh. So, just know that you matter more. Follow your intuition and what you think is right... Now, I'm not telling people to live their lives a certain way, just proposing some ideas...

Half of the time, I feel older than my age...I never really felt like other kids understood the repercussions of the way they are and of their actions. Sometimes it's annoying to me, because I know what'll happen, yet they don't. Oh well. It's not like I always make the right choice, still teenager and growing..just more wiser than some. Just know that it's ok to lighten up a little, it's fine, and we're people: we make mistakes, don't always achieve our goals, and it's ok to forgive yourself for that. As you develop the traits and grow, becoming more aware of our nature as infj, life might just get easier and hopefully you'll make the best out of it.

I'm an infj, and always will be infj. It might be a gift or a burden, but it's the way you live your life that matters in the end. :) Normally I wouldn't write this...because of being private and keeping to myself. But hey, sometimes I don't want to keep it all in.
Obsidiann Obsidiann
6 Responses Jan 19, 2012

Psychology is sure an interesting thing. My parents and some of my friends believe that I may have autism (Asperger's to be more precise), which is also a gift yet a burden. I see what other people don't see, but I have problems with fitting in with said people. My entire life I'm really tense when I'm with other people, including my small number of friends, as I notice even the slightest changes in their personalities, and I've come to understanding them so much I am able to predict what they're going to say or do, even when I don't tell them anything, the predictions are usually them insulting me because what I said "Is either awkward, stupid or just plain nonsensical", and that brings me to my misanthropy.

Oh, I see. Yeah I learned some stuff about autism in my introductory year of psychology the past year. Well, what you've said is interesting. Asperger does give an upper hand with some specific area, though as you've said, comes with other challenges. So basically you're able to observe people in a way that you can predict what they're going to say...Interesting. Sucks that people are pretty shallow and inconsiderate of others. :( Hope it gets better for you.

I learned to live with it as every person learns to live with a new pet, husband, wife, or a disability. I'm still human, after all, and I can still function properly in everyday life, expect that some of my more social functions work differently, and that is usually a turn-off for most people.

For instance, I have reread my posts about 8 times now, including this one. Not sure if others do the same, though.

Huh, interesting way of putting it. And simply because your social functions work differently, it's a turn-off for most people? Why if I may ask?

What is God’s will for a wing?
Every bird knows that.
Basically, like I said, people that listen to me usually take me as "Either awkward, stupid or just plain nonsensical". Some of the things I say are quite strange, but I honestly see it as their fault for being so cold to me, hence why I hate the majority of my school. No matter how may times I ever help anyone, if they hear a single word I utter that they don't like, they forget everything and go against me.

Haha you aren't the only one who reread their posts. I do that too, though not sure why. And what you said, admittedly it is kind of strange but poetic. It's unfortunate people are like that. My friends here, well acquaintances aren't like that. We're all strange in our ways that makes us, unique. But sorry t hear that it's like that for you.

Life is different for everyone, and everyone has their own place in this world that they can contribute to, easy or not. What do you think is worth more: gold, or soil? What if someone gave you a seed?

4 More Responses

Thanks for sharing. I can relate to so many of your experiences, I'm pretty sure I'm an INFJ. It is nice to hear a teenager's perspective as I'm also a teen (nearly 18.) :)

:) No problem. Good luck though~

Well, your life experiences shape your personality


:) I do have friends, just not infj ones, and they are supportive :3 I won't let anyone tell me that I'm weird, thought it's just personal opinion, it doesn't bother me. Haha, they just tell me that I'm very observative and intense...and always look sad o.o

Yeup, I know that feeling too. It's not like we have to have a happy emotion on our faces all the time. Sometimes it's just nothing because we're just calm and neutral.

Your welcome, sir. I'm sure she'll slowly eased into being comfortable with who she is soon. It's great that she's got a supporting father like you. Not everyone is so close to their parents or vice versa. I think that it's wonderful that you talked to her and shared things together because it helps knowing that someone understands you and you can tell them things, especially if it's your parents. Some times, parents don't have time to talk to their kids and the kid ends up feeling helpless in some ways.<br />
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It's true that she or I may have not "true friends" yet, but as life goes on I'm sure she'll find someone who'll understand her because her life's only just beginning and there are many fantastic, understanding people out there waiting to be discovered :)<br />
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And it is cool being unique. Not necessary smarter, probably in some ways, but definitely more intuitive. Lastly, thanks. I've had time to make peace with myself with who I am, and it only gets better with time. I find that it helps me to be a better person, so I'm happy with that.Good luck to her too! Plus she does sound like an amazing kid!

I appreciate you sharing this. My daughter is a sophomore in high school and is experiencing some of the same feelings you are. Though my daughter has not "tested" as an INFJ, I'm a confirmed INFJ and I see so much of myself in her.<br />
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She's a great kid. She's creative, quirky, and has the most amazing taste in music, which I love being able to share with her. She's witty and beautiful, though she can't always see it. She asked me the other day which year of high school I enjoyed most. I had to be honest and tell her that I really didn't enjoy high school at all. I just never fit in. As we talked, she shared a lot of the same thoughts you presented here.<br />
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I wish I could have eased her pain, but having been there myself the best I could offer was to encourage her to celebrate her uniqueness. I know that's easier said than done, and it was only after I left college and started a career that i really came to accept myself for who I was. <br />
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Her biggest complaint is that she feels she can't find any true friends who understand and accept her for who she is. I think I read somehwere that INFJs are only 1% of the population, so it's no wonder. <br />
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My wish for my daughter (and you), is that you find your way through life with this "burden" and can be at peace with who you are. It's kinda cool being unique. And besides, we're smarter and more intuitive than the rest of the mere mortals that walk among us.