I Am An Infj
Alright...I've been obsessed with the MBTI ever since I first took the test and found out I was an INFJ. I was interested in the odd mystique that our type has often been awarded, being "the rarest" and whatever fancy terms people like to bandy about. However, I did a lot of research in order to make sure that I was in fact an INFJ, and that I wasn't just drawn in by the allure.
One thing I should probably mention before I delve any further into this tale: I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (high functioning autism) at age 9, due to my odd behavioral patterns, sensitivity to various environmental stimuli, and my inability to get along with those my own age. Adults were fascinated with me, and I was fascinated by them, but the most casual interaction I could count on getting with kids my own age was chasing them around, imagining that I was a predator stalking its prey or an assassin chasing after their target. Sure, I had one or two friends, but I was VERY close to them, and interacted with them almost as if they were family instead of merely being friends. (The same is largely true today).
Up until about 2 years ago, I had a crippling inferiority complex; I felt like I was always responsible for everything, and that I was sub-human. Further contributing to this lack of self esteem was my diagnosis of Aspergers, which suggests we lack finesse with abstract thought (Ni) and lack empathy (Fe); I ended up taking this label at face value, assuming that I was inferior in these categories just like any other person with autism. Any profound insights that came to fruition were quashed by the seemingly undeniable fact that I, having Aspergers, was unskilled with metaphor. I also doubted my abilities to put myself in the shoes of other people because of this.
It wasn't until college, when I could start with a fresh outlook, that I fully began to realize my true strengths. All the observations I'd derived about high school being a sense of control, conditioning a burgeoning generation into complacency of carrying the torches of their forefathers, were suddenly validated. I realized that it wasn't that I was WRONG; it's that there were people who agreed with me. People I trusted. Professors. Doctors. Fellow students. Ever since then, I have had more eager to live life the way I feel comfortable living it, and no longer feel compelled to shoulder the guilt and responsibilities that I feel have been forced upon me.
Now, back to MBTI: I had been gathering as much information as I can to broaden my understanding of the cognitive functions, and had been debating about my type for a while: I knew for certain I was an INxx, but I wanted to make sure I was an INFJ, as opposed to an INTP, INFP or INTJ. I think one of the things that tripped me up were my hesitance to embrace my more conclusion-seeking, anal-retentive aspects of my personality; in other words, I reaaaaaaaally was hoping for a while that I was a P rather than a J. However, after interacting with a few INFPs, and determining that--while we tended to share common fundamental beliefs--we often had too many misunderstandings and differences in priorities for me to share their type. Also, I have two friends that are INFJs, and--while we have our differences--we rarely misunderstand eachother and find ourselves on the same wavelength.
I think my strong Tertiary Ti (cultivated by my Aspergers diagnosis, most likely, and its oft-touted strengths in the field of logic and pragmatism) caused me to doubt for a while whether I was a T or an F. However, after carefully studying various articles and insights about the judging functions, I determined I was in reality an Auxiliary Fe and a Tertiary Ti.
Nowadays, I'm comfortable with my MBTI type, and am proud to have finally found a category that I feel accurately describes me. I don't know about any of you guys, but I feel more comfortable if I feel I can rest my laurels on a psychological category if it helps me to better understand others, and likewise better help them to understand me. For a while, this was inevitably my Aspergers diagnosis, but there were a few things about it that failed to measure up. For instance, I was strikingly more higher-functioning than what is expected of those with Aspergers, mainly in my social skills and my ability to 'sync up' with other people. While it did help me developmentally, being labelled with Aspergers had led me to grow up in a socially critical time period feeling uncomfortable with myself, and feeling alienated from the whole of humanity (even other 'Aspergians', which were supposedly my kindred spirits according to the way I understood autism at the time). Once I discovered I was an INFJ, however, I found myself in utter disbelief at the things I read; they really spoke to ME. And also, unlike autism spectrum "disorders", the MBTI doesn't portray me as an aberration of what is considered 'normal', but rather a rarer flavor, a more slender portion of the pie chart, if you will. ;3
Thank you for reading! And I'm glad to finally have found my handling in life!
-- Ribonuke
One thing I should probably mention before I delve any further into this tale: I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome (high functioning autism) at age 9, due to my odd behavioral patterns, sensitivity to various environmental stimuli, and my inability to get along with those my own age. Adults were fascinated with me, and I was fascinated by them, but the most casual interaction I could count on getting with kids my own age was chasing them around, imagining that I was a predator stalking its prey or an assassin chasing after their target. Sure, I had one or two friends, but I was VERY close to them, and interacted with them almost as if they were family instead of merely being friends. (The same is largely true today).
Up until about 2 years ago, I had a crippling inferiority complex; I felt like I was always responsible for everything, and that I was sub-human. Further contributing to this lack of self esteem was my diagnosis of Aspergers, which suggests we lack finesse with abstract thought (Ni) and lack empathy (Fe); I ended up taking this label at face value, assuming that I was inferior in these categories just like any other person with autism. Any profound insights that came to fruition were quashed by the seemingly undeniable fact that I, having Aspergers, was unskilled with metaphor. I also doubted my abilities to put myself in the shoes of other people because of this.
It wasn't until college, when I could start with a fresh outlook, that I fully began to realize my true strengths. All the observations I'd derived about high school being a sense of control, conditioning a burgeoning generation into complacency of carrying the torches of their forefathers, were suddenly validated. I realized that it wasn't that I was WRONG; it's that there were people who agreed with me. People I trusted. Professors. Doctors. Fellow students. Ever since then, I have had more eager to live life the way I feel comfortable living it, and no longer feel compelled to shoulder the guilt and responsibilities that I feel have been forced upon me.
Now, back to MBTI: I had been gathering as much information as I can to broaden my understanding of the cognitive functions, and had been debating about my type for a while: I knew for certain I was an INxx, but I wanted to make sure I was an INFJ, as opposed to an INTP, INFP or INTJ. I think one of the things that tripped me up were my hesitance to embrace my more conclusion-seeking, anal-retentive aspects of my personality; in other words, I reaaaaaaaally was hoping for a while that I was a P rather than a J. However, after interacting with a few INFPs, and determining that--while we tended to share common fundamental beliefs--we often had too many misunderstandings and differences in priorities for me to share their type. Also, I have two friends that are INFJs, and--while we have our differences--we rarely misunderstand eachother and find ourselves on the same wavelength.
I think my strong Tertiary Ti (cultivated by my Aspergers diagnosis, most likely, and its oft-touted strengths in the field of logic and pragmatism) caused me to doubt for a while whether I was a T or an F. However, after carefully studying various articles and insights about the judging functions, I determined I was in reality an Auxiliary Fe and a Tertiary Ti.
Nowadays, I'm comfortable with my MBTI type, and am proud to have finally found a category that I feel accurately describes me. I don't know about any of you guys, but I feel more comfortable if I feel I can rest my laurels on a psychological category if it helps me to better understand others, and likewise better help them to understand me. For a while, this was inevitably my Aspergers diagnosis, but there were a few things about it that failed to measure up. For instance, I was strikingly more higher-functioning than what is expected of those with Aspergers, mainly in my social skills and my ability to 'sync up' with other people. While it did help me developmentally, being labelled with Aspergers had led me to grow up in a socially critical time period feeling uncomfortable with myself, and feeling alienated from the whole of humanity (even other 'Aspergians', which were supposedly my kindred spirits according to the way I understood autism at the time). Once I discovered I was an INFJ, however, I found myself in utter disbelief at the things I read; they really spoke to ME. And also, unlike autism spectrum "disorders", the MBTI doesn't portray me as an aberration of what is considered 'normal', but rather a rarer flavor, a more slender portion of the pie chart, if you will. ;3
Thank you for reading! And I'm glad to finally have found my handling in life!
-- Ribonuke
By:
Ribonuke211
Age:
18-21
,
Female
