I Always Knew I Was Different

From a very young age I always knew I did not quite fit into this world. I always felt like the outsider looking in. I was always the advisor and trusted friend until my services were no longer needed. I tried day in and day out to force myself to fit in. Then I'd end up alone in my room, face to the floor, crying my eyes out because I was never sure what I was doing wrong. I've had my fair share of trying to collect the data and figure it out moments. Lots of what if I looked liked this, what if I did this, what if I forced myself to like this kind of moments. Now at 29 I started to realize that I was never suppose to be like "one of them" so to speak. And then I found the test. Finding out that I was an Infj open up the whole world to me. It showed me that being different, weird, eclectic,eccentric, or what ever other label the world has given me was okay. They felt like that because they could never understand the beauty that was me. Now I revel in my weirdness though the life of an Infj is a lonely one. People come and go like how flowers die in winter and sprout back in spring, so I have learned not to expect them to stay around very long. To end this I would like to say that I am glad I found this site, happy to know that there are others like me and quite giddy to know that I am not alone.
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6 Responses Jun 14, 2012

I wanted to let you know... that I found out I wan INFJ because of this post. I wanted to share the story with you. It happened on my birthday last Friday. I was ina conflict with someone over moving. They had lied about a few pieces information for the sake of benefit. I felt it. I called them out. And the person said "Why do you always act like you know things that you can't". Well I said I was sorry so did they. I was still frustrated and I mean just wanting to throw it all out frustrated. Wanting to cry... and I just typed into google "I Always Knew I Was Different". I took 4 tests that day and now I'm happy and giddy. Thank YOU!

I just found out that I am this type. In college, I had to put up with people making fun of me, and I would often cry about it when alone, so finding out that I am not strange, just different has made me feel much better.

This is beautiful! I felt the same way growing up and still struggle with it sometimes, but it is so nice to be familiar with the fact that we aren't alone. :)

Hello, this was very interesting. According to my gender therapist, in the last 3 months of transition I have managed to be at the point that many who are in transition takes almost a year to accomplish. Once I had decided, I have gone about what I felt was the fastest path to my goal. Not really knowing why some choices were made but not questioning them as well. <br />
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Things just seem to feel right and I pursue it. <br />
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very interesting indeed.

:) <br />
i would cry in my room all alone too

It is indeed one of the more rare personality types, but you are not alone. I think acceptance of who we are is a function of age. And I think that's true of all of us, but especially true for the INFJ. It seems most of us INFJs have gone through some period of trying to "fix" ourselves. Trying to fit in, while knowing something about us just wasn't quite right.<br />
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As I've grown older, I've learned to accept myself for who and I am and have learned it's ok to relax and just enjoy being me. Like you, I appreciate my different-ness.