I am an INFJ. I am lonely,too. I want to be alone most of the timr since I am more comfortable alone. When I am so lonely I can not stand it I get with others but feel awkward and out of place. I am okay with just one person at a time, if I know them. I am running out of people. When I am hurt or offended by someone I stay away from them. I am estranged from my brothers and sisters. I feel alone even when I am with a close friend, of which I have three. I can't get it. I can't just roll with the fow. I get stuck thinking, ruminating on a phrase or comment someone made. What did they mean by that? I feel like a loser. My IQ is in the 90th percentile. I don't fit in this world. I am an INFJ. Only 3% of humans are INFJ's. I don't fit in anywhere.

I have been married three time. I can't stand the intense togetherness and accounting for time, thoughts, motives. I am drowned by marriage, yet I am alone. I am lonely. I do not fit in.
Horseman1957 Horseman1957
51-55, M
1 Response Sep 17, 2012

Well horseman, among the INFJ's you are not alone in relationship failure. Though I'm an eternal optimist, sometimes I believe we are hard wired to fail at the modern martial system. The real issue here is to not be consumed by what you call loneliness and describing this sense of alienation. Loneliness, I often find, is not so much the missing of another person. It is the ability to find happiness just being by yourself, within yourself. I have lived by myself for years now, fairly isolated except for my dog and horses. At first confused I was happy by just this, but realized soon after that contentment is a rare gift. Dwell less on the fact that you don't fit in, and embrace the fact that you are unique. Rare. Take your passions and teach with them, don't withdraw into them.