My Current Life As An Infj

I took the MBTI for the first time about a week ago, resulting in me being an INFJ.
A few months ago I started my first semester at Washington State University - Vancouver, having had already gotten my associates degree from Lower Columbia College I felt confident in my decision to major in Mechanical Engineering, I figured it would be the practical thing to do. I'm decent with math, I don't particularly enjoy it, but I can tolerate it more than most, and I like problem solving. A few weeks ago I ended up in the hospital with a severe kidney infection (The doctors couldn’t find a reason, which makes sense to me because I know that when I’m stressed or anxious for a few weeks at a time I get adrenal problems usually with my kidneys). I was in the hospital for about 5 days and had a lot of time to think.
I thought about how every time people would ask me, "Why mechanical engineering?" I wouldn't have much of a reason, I would just kind of say I could tolerate math and liked problem solving. Now when I think about Psychology, I have a whole list of reasons I would like to do that. I’m extremely interested in the subject, and I feel I have a lot of skills that are great for this. I have a ton, if not too much empathy and compassion for people, I'm good with seeing multiple perspectives and being able to foresee how things might turn out. (Probably due to my narcissistic, and extremely dysfunctional family life I could probably write another few thousands words about) I'm a great listener and do well with one on one or small group interactions, which would be what type of environment I would be in as a psychologist or counselor.
I started taking aptitude tests, which led to the MBTI. I took several versions, all of which turned out INFJ. As I read the personality descriptions and watch the videos on youtube I'm so relieved that how I feel is normal to some extent for this type of personality. I've always had this loneliness, and felt like people don't understand me, or the way I think about things. I use to think it was just because I'm an only child, but it's like I would have this never-ending loneliness, that even being around people 24/7 couldn't fix. On the first days of a new quarter or semester I would look around the room at my fellow classmates and decide whom I would or wouldn't potentially become acquaintances if not friends with. I thought I was just being too picky with people and that it's not like I knew them so how would I know if I could become friends with them. But when I would try to go against my initial impression I would end up regretting it.
I've been with my INTJ boyfriend for over 4 years now. We have issues with him being critical and it making me feel like he's just slamming me deeper and deeper into the ground, but now I know it's not just me, and that it's not just that he's being a jerk, that's just a personality trait he has, and that it's just my personality to be extra sensitive to criticism. It's always drove me crazy if I feel someone got the wrong impression of me, or if I felt I said that wrong thing and might have offended someone. I would replay scenes from throughout the day in my mind over and over thinking of what I should or could have done instead. I've always felt this disconnect between what was going on in my mind, where everything made sense, but then once I would try to bring it to the physical world the ideas and my attempts at communicating them just crumbled.
I'm a complete introvert, as much as I try to combat this never ending loneliness with making friends, it just feels like it's more effort than its worth. I’m always there for other people, but once it comes to talking about myself I always feel like I have to simplify my thoughts, I don't want to say "dumb things down", but that's almost what it's like. I just feel like I'm on a different level than the majority on just about everything, and that probably contributes to the loneliness I experience. In the back of my mind I've always had a major interest in Psychology, I took two psych classes for humanities credits at LCC and remembered really enjoying those. I've always known that I enjoy helping people; it's just what I do. If there is something I can do to help someone out I'll try to do it without a second thought. Almost to the point of it being unhealthy, I've started to realize that every single friendship I've made even since elementary school has been with someone who needed my help, or needed to be “fixed”. I still don't really know what to think of this realization, but I'm working on making friendships that might be a bit healthier for me.
I could go on and on, but I think I'll stop here. Tell me if you have similar experiences or any advice, I’m always open to (and would really like to) meeting new people, so message me if you like, or comment on here. Thanks for your time.
ppattriiciia ppattriiciia
18-21, F
6 Responses Oct 6, 2012

I am an INFJ and i am in my final year of mechanical engineering course.I also felt the same way as you do.I feel like i would have been much better at Psychology.Meanwhile i have got a job offer in an investment banking firm in my campus placements.But i am still not content and look for job options where i can use my intense understanding of people and where i believe i can flourish.

I can relate to a lot of what you mentioned too. I just did an online career test recently and found out I'm an INFJ, and it explains so much. Most of my personal relationships, especially romantic, have been with people who have needed help or as you said "fixing". That's great that you recognized this and are working on making healthier friendships. I was studying linguistics and psychology to be a speech therapist for a while and through volunteering realized that as a career it would be too draining, but I also want a career where I can help people so now I'm looking into doing social work or counselling psychology. I also hold off on saying exactly what I'm thinking because I'm worried people won't understand or think I'm strange. It's hard to find people that you completely connect with and can just say whatever's on your mind to. Best of luck with mechanical engineering. Having studied the humanities for a while now I sometimes miss the practicality and concreteness of math and science because I wonder if it would help ground me more (I get really caught up in my thoughts and kind of lose touch with reality sometimes), and I'm wondering if you find that it does?

I'm an INFJ too, and I just began my college career last year in Engineering as well. I think I'm going to stick with it because of the same reasons - I'm good at math but am not particularly fond of it, but I absolutely love problem solving! To let out my creative side, I am also a writer. I'm publishing my first book (fantasy, of course) soon :)

I will start to say that I am an INFJ too and I have patiently read everything you had to say and I relate to at least a lot of things you say. Next year I will major in Psychology, I feel like I have breath Psychology since child. My mother is schizophrenic so, I was introduced to concepts like insanity, illusions and delusions too soon in my life. That could be a reason for my connection with Psychology but also my intelect is suited to that (plus being an INFJ for sure) I know what you say about your intuition regarding people, I am like that as well and a lot say that I'm too complicated but it's hard to explain to them that I see things others don't without sounding arrogant. I always looked at my worst experiences as a gift, because they helped me be more mature and understand a lot of things at young age, but there were always a discrepancy between me and other kids, now I know that I am special in some way. I get that same problem about not being able to explain things to people because the way I talk gets them confused, it seems my mind processes things by metaphors and that's how I perceive things, somehow people can't get the why I look at things... Anyway.... I think you are a very interesting person, I feel we would understand each other quite well since we perceive things in a similar way. If you are interesting in talking further, please add me :)

You are very nurturing person concerned about welfare of other people assisting them when you can, such a sweet disposition you have. Sorry to hear about your kidney problem and stay in the hospital. That feeling of what others may think is there which I have experienced, way of life and one gets over it making me think of what I'd like to do. In my life getting close friends has been hard . I hope situation improves for you but remember we are always here for you EP helps. coming to vancouver?

I found out I am an INFJ also,which,I think,helped me a lot in understanding and accepting myself.Loneliness is the part I can relate mostly to,it seems like it will never go away,even though I have an amazing person by my side that loves me and whom I love also.This is my last year in high school and I must decide where to go next and I chose psychology.My parents didn't agree at first,so I just turned to psychiatry but now,pychology will do.Sometimes it's hard to interract with people because I feel we are too different and ,I'm also afraid of being hurt.Ironicly,this happened too many times,and I realy love people and want to help them but can't be open myself up to them.If I'll ever meet an INFJ I'll recognize him/her from a great distance,this people are hard to miss for us at least,because we are like them too.There is such a mess in my head,too many thoughts and worries,but this overthinking and overreacting is part of me.If,by any means,psychology will make you happier and you feel this is your thing,it's worth trying,because ,for me regrets of a life wasted and not enjoyed will be the hardest pain when I'll get old.I am sorry for the unstructured comment -it's because of me writing for the first time about personal things,and maybe,english not being my native language:)