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If I Were A Sentence I Would Be A Question.

To be or not to be... as Hamlett eloquently put it, defines the essence of the being that is me. I am always at odds with my self. The question with far too many answers never knowing which one will fit right. I taste each situation, allowing it's flavor to sit upon my pallet as one tastes a fine wine. I see the world through a looking glass, always far away, sometimes wishing I were closer other times feeling that I am better off being detached. Like a doppelganger I have another moral side to myself whispering constantly the reasons I should be above the things that others indulge in. I am a old car sitting in a parking lot of the newest models. I have my own charm but I feel as if I should change, transfixed in place I sometimes feel inadequate in lue of my competition.

Reach out to me and I will love you for a life time, spurn me and I will mistrust you forever. I forgive and yet cannot let go. A constant dichotomy the immovable object confronted with the unstoppable force. I am an island on a vast sea contemplating my existence as I have no other point of reference to compare myself to. The creations of my hands seem dull to my sight, sons and daughters that hold my love but never my affection. If I were a phrase I would be a metaphor saying one thing but meaning another. I seek and value the truth and yet hide who I am behind an alabaster mask of benevolence. I yearn for the one who will pull my mask away and touch the face beneath it look into the eyes that look back and finally see the person inside. Who am I? is the question that burns deep within my heart. And yet I have so many shifting faces that I cannot answer it completely. As the infinity stretches on forever with no beginning and no end I feel as if I too share a trait with this idea. The world seems as plastic fake, bendable not enough to fill the void that exists within my person. But on this day some of that mystery has fallen away the blinders have inched aside and in their place I have seen just four simple letters.

INFJ.

And in some small way my unrest has settled. My doubts resolved.

I know that most of that....well all of that was in metaphor but I figure if everyone here is truly the same as me. Then no one on this earth will understand what I have written better than you guys.
EmersonCobb EmersonCobb 18-21 3 Responses Dec 27, 2012

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"Reach out to me and I will love you for a life time, spurn me and I will mistrust you forever. I forgive and yet cannot let go."

This is beautiful. And so like me that I almost cried.
Thank you for sharing.

two phrases struck me
'...hold my love but never my affection..' and '..so many shifting faces that I cannot answer completely'..just WOW!
totally relatable..

If i had this gift of expression in metaphors, i would've written the same for myself.