To Create Or Not to Create

As an INFJ, or just as a creative person-it seems my whole being has always been consumed with trying to get my ideas out of my head and into the world. I spent my whole 20's attempting to conquer the world of graphic design and advertising because I felt like I had to; I have always felt I had a gift to create and "do something" with it. Even now as a father and husband, I have continued on in my pursuit to get these ideas out and change something. But what? It just occurred to me the other day that I don't owe the world anything. I have two beautiful boys and a wife; They are healthy and lively, I have a house and a great job (as an operating officer, not even as a creative). I have been so consumed with my inner world and whats in my head for so long that I sometimes neglect my family and I hate that. But what can I do? I know I'll get the itch to create a comic ***** or to start a company, etc...And I don't want to take that time away from my kids. But I hope that making this decision to spend more time devoted to them doesn't suffocate me and make me a bitter old man one day. Oh well. I'll figure it out; It's just nice to realize that If I don't want to spend a ton of time alone in the dark scribbling ideas, sketching and generally alienating myself for days on end I don't have to. I can take my kids to a park. I'll just pour creativity into yardwork or building something for my boys.
chpdsgn chpdsgn
31-35, M
7 Responses Jul 18, 2007

These children of ours will learn how to rise and fall with the tides we take them on. Creativity allows them the freedom to express themselves safely (usually) and more so, with a guiding hand. My daughter has taken her creativity beyond singing in the car, to singing at basketball games, she has taken her sense of "otherness" to being a kid intern for Make A Wish...her courage exceeds mine, because she doesn't have the INFJ type, though is completely transformed by our experiences together.

I feel the same way! I always thought my life would revolve around my creative side and graphic design but now I have decided to change careers into the medical field so I can better support my family. I will never stop being creative and coming up with ideas and wanting to imagine the future. That will always be a part of me I can't change.

'tis by far better to spend time with your children than to whittle it away with 'things to do' - your children have only a set amount of time to be children..after that they become adults and childhood is lost forever...spend time with them and teach them values and all the things that will matter to them in the years to come... do you remember times spent with your own father? what childhood memories do you have and therefore, what childhood memories would you like your own children to have?

I also struggle with the same thing, though I do not have children yet. Sometimes, I look into the future and wonder if I'll ever have them because of this nagging creative quest inside that says all of that will end with children. That said, I have also recently realized something similar to you, and thought: what really is better? To create something beautiful or to try and live a beautiful life? I know that I will always be drawn to "the here and now" as an idea, though I also know living in the here and now will always be difficult for me. In other words: We're all here right with you! This dilemma will probably be a lifelong one for all of us, and I think that's not a bad thing. It seems to be that the restlessness I feel, the questioning, is exactly what keeps me going, keeps me feeling alive. Some people need physical thrills or a great career, but how lucky are we to have within us the motivation we need to continue exploring ourselves and the world? So many do not have this gift, and I think we should encourage that questioning, not necessarily the answering.

Way to put your kids first! If more fathers did that there would be more healthy children around and, hence, adults. Sure you have to balance but sounds like you have some fundamentals figured out.<br />
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its hard to know what is right or what is the best way to live life in a fufilling way and balance everything. All i want you to know is that i think you are on the right track with finding other ways to express your creativity because for me i feel like a part of me is missing if i dont exercize my creativity and build it. Its weird because i want to be a graphic designer myself and i plan on art being a big part of my life:)

Just for the record, I started a group for the ISFJ's out in EP land =)