I guess I'm an INFJ. I'm both proud and a bit aggrivated at the same time.

I'm incredibly proud because essentially, INFJ's like myself want to save the world. We care tirelessly for people and long for meaning in ourlives. That's great and all, but why is this so rare?

I want to dedicate my life to helping people in some way, but I don't know how. It's confusing. I'm too indecisive.

See, I've been pressured by family to go pre-med for a while. I'm not passionate about math or sciences (that is not to say that INFJ's can't be passionate about it), but I enjoy the idea of healing and helping others. But I can't spend years studying what I don't care for. I'm passionate about writing and I'd like to be a novelist one day, but I'm not so certain about this aspiration, either. I think I want to interact with people directly, even though I'm bad at socializing (and frankly, I'd prefer not to socialize).

I love people, but I'm not comfortable interacting with them. I love solitude, but I don't want to be alone. You know what I mean?

I also feel misunderstood. Some of my friends tell others that "She don't like being hugged," "She doesn't like being bothered," and I can't even get myself to speak up in defense. Honestly, I love people, and I love it when people want to talk to me. I genuinely enjoy their company, yet at the same time I find myself hating humanity. I find myself loving people more than they love me, even though I hate them. Oh goodness, I'm not making any sense.

I have these intense emotions from time to time. I cannot find one person in my life that truly understands me. I have close friends, even though they do not understand or know me very well. But I know and understand so much about them.

I have these complex thoughts but I can't communicate them very well. I can convey my ideas better through writing than speech, and because of that, people seem to think that I'm really simple at a first glance. Maybe absentminded. Maybe they think that there's nothing going on in my mind - meanwhile, I'm lying in my room, wishing that I could stop thinking for just a few minutes.

It's isolating, man. Is it an INFJ thing? Or is it just me?

Thanks for trying to understand.
ArchaicBlossom ArchaicBlossom
18-21, F
3 Responses Aug 21, 2014

I had a little chuckle when you said your friends tell people "she doesn't like to be hugged". I have friends who buffer for me too. In terms of complex thoughts and intense emotions and feeling like no one "gets you". Yeah that's my experience too. But what I'm kinda starting to understand is the people who love me may not always "get" me. But they love, respect, and accept me. Maybe our problem is that we "get" others so deeply that we assume everyone should be capable of that and that is just not their strength. Maybe their strength is making others laugh or loving whether they understand or not . Best Wishes on Your Journey!

I can't believe it..everything you say, is exactly how I would say it also..we are so similar. Guess that's why I'm an infj also. But I didn't think it would sound so similar.

We need to be friends. I feel like we are incredibly similar souls.

Woooo! I'm not alone! Does that mean you actually understood what I was saying?

With excruciating clarity :)

"I want to dedicate my life to helping people in some way, but I don't know how. It's confusing. I'm too indecisive." "I can't even get myself to speak up in defense. Honestly, I love people, and I love it when people want to talk to me." "I cannot find one person in my life that truly understands me." "I have these complex thoughts but I can't communicate them very well." "I love people, but I'm not comfortable interacting with them. I love solitude, but I don't want to be alone."

Everything you said is spot on. I feel the exact same way. Its tough being this way and feeling alone, but at the same time I feel so excited of what I am capable of.