It's Not Easy Being Infj But...

I was adopted @ birth with no worldly roots. I have usualy  seen things different from most people, that was always very apparent to me. I had a deep empathy for humanity but in order to maintain my prospective I also had to maintain a separation from society. As a young man I choose to value sunsets over dollars and lived my life accordingly, in poverty and homelessness (13 years homeless). The heavens as a blanket and the earth as a bed taught me a lot of the inhumanity of man but it also taught me of faith. I woke each morning "knowing" that today I would be fed, if it is Gods will. For many years I was "the invisible man" alone in the world. Every now and again I would "see" a person that was truly an enlightened human being, don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad and I know that all people are not bad, just insensitive to others. Anyways, now... the reality is that by worldly standards I am just a reclusive loser (have I mentioned bi-polar) living in a basement apartment that needs to believe in poetry and God and live in the spirit in order to avoid the truth of the natural world. Maybe all this time I've just been INFJ.  It's all become a little too much for me to handle lately.

Peace and Love

idlelurker idlelurker
51-55, M
6 Responses Mar 24, 2009

God bless you sir. You are living proof of our spiritual nature, and the fact it is enough for us to live and love happily in this wicked world. I hope to succeed lots one day, so i can spend my life finding treasure people like you, and sharing with them my success, in exchange of their company and wisdom.
And who knows...our roads might cross one day.
Our lord is great

Wow! When I first began to read your posting, I found myself being described in your story. "Strumming my pain with his fingers; Singing my life with his song; Killing me softly with his song, killing me softly..." Its as if, I didnt see anything wrong with me as a child, but people kept treating my like I was slow or something when I was growing up. Even now, many times, I am still treated as if I am weird for being exactly who I am. Like I am suppose to apologize for being me.

I suspect that there are many types of INFJs out there, but I certainly relate to you and others who have posted. <br />
I need to be alone to charge my batteries and love the peace and serenity of quiet. <br />
When I socialize nowadays, it is generally one on one with a trusted friend. <br />
The feeling of peace and gratitude in my life seems to have grown dramatically with my decision to allow me to be me. Much more joy and contentment than before. <br />
Because I am not so drained by being in large groups all the time, I have more energy to put into quietly helping others from the background. <br />
When I visit a friend for lunch, I can listen better and say the express what I see more fully. <br />
Thanks for listening folks. :)

Interesting

The invisible man...I get that. Being a natural introvert I feel sometimes that I just blend into the world, an observer and not much more. Also, since you were homeless, well, people usually don't like to truly look at homeless people. I make it a point to always say hello and smile, and offer food if I have it with me.<br />
<br />
I also have a mental illness(schizophrenia)and have felt the outcast, and sometimes loser. But I gave up the loser part of the equation because I define myself in spiritual terms now and I feel rich in that sense. I'm disabled and unable to work more than ~14 hours a week. In the USA where I am many people define themselves by their work, I've learned to define myself as who I am.<br />
<br />
sikotik

"It's all become a little too much for me to handle lately."<br />
<br />
I completely relate. I live in a tiny studio (not really, just a room) with a bathroom attached and no kitchen but a small counter, half refrigerator and microwave. While I'm sure there are many insecure working folks out there (I'm disabled) who might comment that I am a "loser"....anyone who knows me would say I'm anything but. I would lose the "loser" part of that description. Other than that, and the long years under the blanket of the sky, I relate completely. I've always had to "hermatize" my life in order to remain sane ... have enough time to process the only way I process: with feeling and intuition. Not to say I can't think things through logically, I can, and love to. However, anything important to me must go through my gut and intuition for a good choice. Our world is antithetical to this way of processing. Therefore, it makes being an INFJ even harder.<br />
<br />
You're not alone. There are others of us. We sympathize and empathize.