What I Wished I Had Learned 20 Years AgoI am an INFJ and I wanted to share what I wish someone had told me 20 years ago.
1. An INFJ is only 1 to 2% of the population consequently stop wasting energy on trying to get 98% of the people to understand you. Its a waste of your energy. The energy is better spent making sure you understand yourself.
2. IF you are one of those INFJ's that is highly empathic as I am you are going to be pulled to those people that are seriously damaged. You tend to be highly protective of your inner-self and the only ones that can get through generally are those in a great deal of psychic pain and you are going to want to fix them so that you don't have to feel their pain. Go with your spirit on that as you will make the world a better place however you must make sure you actively ASK God and the Universe for people who will bring Balance into your life or the damaged people can ruin you.
This also goes for people who are physical healers like doctors and nurses(Reiki healers, shamans laying of hands ect). You need balance. Ask for it.
3. You are going to be hurt by people you love the most. That being said don't be a victim about it and don't castigate yourself because you may continue to love that person long after they have violated you. Trust that love has a reason that you may not see YET. Don't be bitter and don't hold on to the hurt. Love sees further then you do. It sees beyond the bounds of physical life and INFJ's definately know how to love but we sometimes don't know what to do when it appears to have backfired and hurt us. When that happens trust your spirit and not your mind and don't waste the energy to analyze what went wrong. Trust nothing went wrong except where you know it was wrong on your part. Learn from what you did and move on.
Recently I had the experience of having a stroke. People who I loved but with whom I had a falling out with , some years ago: Perhaps because I dragged them some places psychically that they weren't able to deal with at the time but the message I brought was one they needed to hear.
I was shocked out of my head when some of them walked into my hospital or made contact with me over the distance of time. I saw I wasn't wrong to have loved them. Only that being human I doubted myself when things appeared to go wrong. But truly loving someone even if it appears to backfire on you is never wrong . It is a blessing you send out into the world and sometimes you get to see it come back to you when you least expect it.
Also when you love pay attention to the details, be in the moment because there is no guarantee that the ob
Addendum added Dec 3, 2010
4. You have the right to be happy so aspire to it. Be very careful around people who tell you- you are too sensitive. The people most likely to tell you that are likely family members. Its probable that they are NOT sensitive enough. These same people will offer advice on what you should do in your life. Quickly do a fact check. Are they happy in their lives? If they are unhappy then they probably can't tell you a whole lot about being happy. That doesn't mean though that you can't learn from their unhappiness. Also it will be really easy for people to guilt you into making decisions that will make life easier for them. You have a strong sense of responsibility and it will be super easy for you to fall into this trap. Ask yourself if the person thats asking you to do this has shown by their own behavior that they care about whether you are happy. If your happiness doesn't seem to matter to them, if your pursuit of joy seems impeded by them no matter how much they try to guilt you into something, don't do it. It will be much harder to walk away later and you will be further away from your own happiness. Helping people is your nature but some people are psychic vampires and they need to leech on to a willing victim and suck them dry. They may actually genuinely need help and as stated above go with your spirit but do not do so in exchange of your own well being. Maya Angelou says if someone tells you who they are listen!!!!! If someone has told you , you are too sensitive then understand what they are really saying is they are insensitive to you and your joy/pain. DO NOT LET THESE PEOPLE into your head. They will send you into a detour of your own spiritual journey. You can't really help them, their karma and life choices have consequences for them and your getting in the way will end up getting you bashed. Love them from a distance.
Here is my addendum for 2014:
Learn to forgive: This is a big one and hard sometimes to do.
Forgiveness isn't something that means you forget..... It means accepting the past and then choosing to walk away from it. It means not letting your past control your future. It means not letting people continue to work your strings. Forgiveness is something you do for yourselves because not forgiving means you have a wound that won't heal. Usually the other person will have reduced the circumstance to something trivial in their lives but we will be the ones constantly bleeding from the blow they dealt us. Not forgiving is like carrying around a ball and chain shackled to us. Sometimes you may need some space between the person who dealt the blow and you. If not you will always feel in defensive mode and you will not be able to forgive even if you know its for you. Get away if you have to and find the space to heal yourself.
KEEP A POSITIVE MINDSET. Make it a discipline and expect that as soon as you decide to practice controlling your own mind, the universe is going to challenge you. A lot of negative stuff is going to challenge you to see if you really mean to control your thoughts and stay positive. Even if you are in negative circumstances learn to look for the positive. This doesn't mean that only positive things will come your way but it does mean that you will be steering your course instead of being cast adrift in uncertainty and despair. It is a discipline that you must practice day and night and hour by hour but you will have better health for it and it will be much more difficult to keep you down for long. God bless you all.