Being An Infj Teenager?

I also feel lonely, as most do. Luckily for me I have the most understanding parents who love me and truly get where I'm coming from, as my mom is an introvert as well, I'm thinking she's an INFP. How did you all get through your teenage years? I have the most strange mood swings, where one day I'll feel extremely talkative and want to be around people and interact with them, which I'm assuming is my extroverted feeling; some days I feel depressed and alone, I ask myself "why do I even bother trying to connect to people anymore?" Weekends I mostly spend at home, writing music, singing, or doing any of the things I truly love, which are usually done solitary, it also seems I connect better with adults rather than people my own age. I'm just not sure how to go about my life, especially on weekends. I love to be alone, but I know its not healthy or normal for someone my age to do it that often, yet when I go out with some girls to a party, the next day I feel exhausted and depressed, as if I need to recharge. How did you deal with it? Did you force yourself to interact with people? I just feel like what I have to say is so different from those my age, I like to be different but I wish my uniqueness was honored rather than misunderstood. I would love some insight on how to handle teenage life as an INFJ? I'm only fifteen, and luckily I'll be graduating very soon (I've skipped a couple of grades) so I'm hoping that maybe college will be easier to handle, but I'm just tired of having social anxiety, on whether or not the "group" I'm with or circle of friends I'm around truly want me there or if they get where I'm coming from, I'm on edge all of the time, constantly analyzing their reactions to me and monitoring my own actions at the same time. It's just all so exhausting.

tseluyu tseluyu
13-15, F
4 Responses Feb 21, 2010

I feel the same way. I'm also fifteen and an infj. I also know what it's like to not connect with people my age and to feel misunderstood. I also can get a lot of social anxiety because I don't really know how to verbally speak my mind, and I also observe the million ways a conversation could go before it even happens. Sometimes I just wish I could be an adult so wouldn't have to deal with this. But I know that we can get through it. These years don't last forever.

If you are a true INFJ, I doubt you will ever reach a point where you become totally comfortable in your own skin and live happily ever after. As INFJs, our greatest strengths are also our greatest curses. We can, literally, feel the emotions of other people and even groups of people. We are reflective so we brood on these feelings to gain a lot of insight on people. However, sensitivity and reflectiveness together can give us these insane bouts of melancholy--the self-doubt, the anxiety, the loneliness.<br />
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You may still just be a teenager, but I highly recommend getting into meditation. It helps me to not only relax, but also to be able to recognize when I am beginning downward spirals. Meditation makes you more aware of your feelings, your thoughts, your self--and this is extremely important for an INFJs as we feel a great deal, we think a great deal, and our selves are ridiculously complicated. With work, you will find that those pesky feelings you get from people and situations are extremely powerful intuitions at work that can serve you very well in life.<br />
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But life... will always have its ups and downs. I hope to overcome them with my study of meditation, but they will probably never fully go away--for if they do, would I even be INFJ?

Thank you so much! It's funny to hear how similar INFJ people are, because I definitely do most of those things myself, including the reading, volunteering, and definitely spirituality. They do usually keep me occupied but I can't help but feel out of place sometimes :( I know I'll learn to be comfortable in my own skin eventually though.

Dear tseluyu,<br />
When i was a teen I connected well with older people so I sought them out and would talk with them. I had a few good friends that I would go to the movies. I would assist people in my community. I would take care of the kids, or go and help an elder in an old folks home I would find out what was needed in my community and put together people to make things happen to accomplish that project. I also found as i got a little older a really good book like the Mist of Avolon. Or Of Water and the Spirit? I think that is the name by Melodoma would keep me occupied in a good way. Spirtuality was a big deal even at your age, so I wanted to learn more, because i knew there was more to life than just the roles and routines if you know what I mean. Hope that helps