Being An Infp And A Cancer

I think I am a dreamer and an idealist. But the thing is, being a Cancer, I tend to not be able to Teflon off so much of the negative energy around me and tend to absorb it. Do others do that? I also think that INFPs try to get to the essence, the authentic truth, want conversation that is deep and real and so much of what passes as social conversation is just superficial. I also long to laugh about life... The odd view of things .... Are others INFPs like this? I am feeling a bit isolated. I want to know others feel the desire for honest connection.
Infp1275 Infp1275
56-60, F
5 Responses Jul 10, 2010

Somebody please help me I am an INFP and a cancer and have been doing psychedelics and my memories are confused.

damn dude good luck with that. I feel like having my memories confused tbh

Lol, I thought I wrote this for a second.

I withdraw at parties because it comes off as superficial jabbering about useless things that contain no substance about anyone or anything. Authenticity is HUGE for me and if you are not bearing your soul to me I am not interested and I sense the slights of deception like a train thundering down the tracks. It overtakes my perception of people. If you are not being completely honest, I don't have time for your games. You are not ready to talk to me, so try again when you are less fearful of being open. I have worked on this, but it is my natural tendency to flatly reject insincerity from people.

I think the biggest thing for me was understanding the concept of "Perspective is everything." If you truly understand this you will see that all anyone ever says is a perspective and there are very few universal truths in the world. Most people don't even know the truth that they tout, is only theirs. Almost all things that leap from mouths are biased opinions and leveraged beliefs that have come to be upheld as fact. When in reality there is no proof of these "universal truths", but their credentials are imagined from a hodgepodge of cultural and social influences, which are not universal standards and cannot bear the ownership of a universal principle.

I spent the first 25 years of my life arguing with people because my convictions were all that I was. But since discovering "Perspective is everything", it altered my focus of relationships from bearing who I am (typically ending in rejection) to, understanding who they are. It allows me to be curious instead of defensive, more accepting rather than judgmental, more loving than guarded.

this is me

i love being reminded of useful logic

I am also a Cancer and INFP which make me double sensitive. I am also A type blood.

You have to build rapport before you get those deep conversations. And often it involves beginning with small talk. Many INFPs have a disdain for small talk and they wonder why they can't get people to talk about something deeper.<br />
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As for connecting with others, what INFPs usually mean is that they want someone to understand them. I think that's only possible to a certain point. For me connection is about understand reasons. If I understand why a person is the way they are than I have a better connection to them. So to feel connected, I steer conversations to other people's whys. I rarely seek to be understood because I barely understand myself sometimes so how can I expect others to understand me.

I do. I think my deepest, strongest desire is real connection - with other people and with my own feelings, with nature, with truth, with everything. People see me as a bit reserved and aloof, but to be honest, I can't be bothered with small talk, so nearly everyone is on the outside (and usually you've got to start with small talk before you can get any deeper!). I'd take a couple of real, deep connections over a hundred superficial ones any day. Though sometimes I do feel lonely, because I have one good friend, my love, and I need more friends, but it's so hard to make them because I can't find many people like me. <br />
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I'm a Gemini. I'm not really into astrology, but the dual nature does fit me, particularly when it comes to other people. I avoid them and like to be alone, but I have a yearning for them.<br />
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Sometimes I can block out negative energy, sometimes I can't. It depends on my emotional state. If I'm feeling inner peace, I can block things out, to an extent. But when I feel shaky and unanchored I get sort of hyperaware, and I absorb everything like a sponge. It makes me feel violated. <br />
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I think inner peace and being connected with our core is important for INFPs. I'm doing lots of soul searching, meditation and therapy and stuff at the moment. It's helping.

you remind me of a gemini I used to be best friends with, but she doesn't like to be very spiritual because she is a christian.. so we stopped being friends.