Reading About the Infp Personality Changed My Outlook
It really did. I was always so conflicted inside about myself. My parents pushed me to be on stage a lot as a kid and teenager because I am musically gifted/inclined. They, like most people, assume that if you can sing and play an instrument it must be that it's your passion and it's what you want to do with your life. Well, it never was. But I was always on stage (and secretely having anxiety attacks backstage) and I was always pushed to the front of the class (secretely having panic attacks and throwing up in the school bathroom.) I have a bubbly and warm personality (I'm told) and people tend to gravitate toward me. In my early EARLY twenties I was referred to as the "party starter". Everyone knew if they were going out with me, they'd have a good time. But still, this wasn't me. It was just the me I thought I was supposed to be. The me I had be "trained" to be.
I still dealt with the issue of "me" and who I really was up until about 6 months ago when I came across one of those tests that tells you what your type is. And when I got my results and read about the INFP personality, I actually started to cry. It was as if someone really understood what I was going through. I used to think I was weird for lying about being sick just so I didn't have to go out partying with friends. I thought I was weird for being such a home body. I thought I was weird for preferring quiet alone time, to being in a crowd of people. But reading the INFP profile...it awakened something in me. I'm not ashamed of who I really am anymore. I've embraced it. And slowly I've been able to reach out to my friends and family about who I really am and show them the real me...not just the me I thought I was supposed to be...the me I was always meant to be.