I Feel Like I'M The Only One...

All my life I've felt like everyone else just didn't get it. I'm in highschool about to graduate and I just don't understand how kids my age get so wrapped up in useless nonsense. Like school dances, drugs, alcohol, and looking cool.
None of that stuff will matter in the end.
What bothers me is that we spend our whole lives in school. Then college. Then we spent everyday working some job. For what point? To earn money? You're still going to die either way. Life just seems so purposeless. No matter how hard I try I can't find joy in the things other kids my age do. Going to a school dance won't distract me from my internal frustations. I am constantly asking myself: Why? Why are we here? Is there a purpose? Is their anything beyond this world?
I wish I could just sit. Sit and think and do what I want to do. Read books. I always think how there are billions of books that I will never get to read. Billions of opportunities I won't take.
Also, I hate small talk. I hate societal rules and regulations. I hate the fact that we have any form of goverment at all. I want total and complete self ownership.
But since we do have goverment I want equality. Despite how annoying I find other people I still think it is unfair for people to suffer. I am a communist as well as a socialist, but mainly out of necessity. Everything in life seems to be so arbitrary and based off of luck. People make decisions based off of what they want. Instead, we should look out over the universe as an orb that does not know what it is or who it is. Then we would see that humans of all races and economic status as well as animals deserve rights.I hate that athletes and actors earn more than people who work long hours on things that actually contribute to our knowledge of the universe.I always wondered why do janitors and lawyers make different incomes. Sure, the lawyer has schooling on his side. But why is education inherently valuable?

Life is just so frustating. No one understands me. I do not know anyother INTJ's in real life so I feel alone sometimes.
Anyway, sorry for the long rant I just wanted to vent my thoughts and I figured you all would be the best people to vent to.

Also: I wanted to ask what occupation you guys have? I'm curious as to what jobs INTJ's are good at.
I am hoping to major in computer science and math. Maybe a minor in philosophy.
csc18 csc18
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 29, 2013

Don't go to college if it isn't in your plan. You do not need a degree unless it is essential to an area you wish to work in. The debt you will incur from college will put you in a miserable lock-down (having to pay it off) whether the job is what you want or not. I like to make lists because they show me what is important to myself. I would recommend making a list of your hobbies/interests. Then, seeing if you really need all that schooling. What I gained from my philosophy degree was a teacher grading me on books I would have read myself anyway...How much income do you need to live as you wish? It is a sad state of society that 'celebrities' are forced into our minds and put on a pedestal of money, but it is a reflection of the interests of general society. Start reading the books that interest you now and start to learn more about your interests/needs. You sound like a you are on a good path. Those realizations and ponderings, even though difficult, are important and many overlook them.

Don't worry I am a christian. I have been for ten years. Maybe it was confusing the way I phrased it, but what I meant is that I do not see any earthly purpose. I consider myself to be a religious existentialist.