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Being An Intp Teenaged Girl: An Analysis

I dont feel lonely as it seems a lot fo other INTP's do, I'm actually lucky enough to be surrounded by a lot of others friends who are INTP's or similar types. But If I look out a the big picture of the context of my life, I realize how exclusively small INTP's are compared to the rest of the world and that makes me feel lonely. I think I read it was 3-5% of the American population I think... Anyway, I observe how people in my school act and sometimes I'm jealous because I feel it would be nice sometimes to exist on a more superficial and carefree level. I think very long term and pretty deeply, and when you think hard enough about anything it always leads to some grimm or depressing conclusion about life. It was Emerson who said Nature is no sentimentalist anyway. A shallow existence would surely help me relieve the huge stress that life brings. But you know what, most of the time I pity those who choose not think as deeply as I do. I know that probably sounds pretty arrogant, but I dont mean it to be. I think everyone has the ability to exercise their intelligence, most people just choose not to because it doesn't interest them. Nothing I can do to change that. In general though, I am a pretty happy person. I have a close group of friends, but when it comes to intimate relationships thats where the problem begins. Intimacy makes me uncomfortable, but at the same time its something I desire. I think I fear it because its something I don't have control over. I want it not because I consciously want it, I want it because its an primordial instinct that is far above anything I could hope to contain. So if I am willing to finally give into it, there must be a deep emotional connection as well. Emotion is something I can control. So if I do give into my physical instinct, it must be supportive through the comfort of emotional tranquility as well. In simpler words, this makes me VERY PICKY. Some of my extraverted friends are the types of people that go through 10 different relationships in a week. (Ok maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit but you ge the point). I can't do that, I am looking for the one right person. Putting myself in an incredibly vulnerable position of letting down my emotional and physical guards leaves me in a position where I can easily be hurt, and that will stay with me for a long time. But interestingly, I've realized that I'm attracted to extroverted type personalities. I think that is because they bring out emotional connection that I am looking for. The problem with other INTP's and INTJ's is that they are too dry. They make awesome friends and I love the deep conversations I can explore with them, but because us INT's guard our emotions so heavily its very difficult to form that deep emotional attachment that I need, i just cant connect on a deeper level. (Ok I'll admit INTJ's get on my nerves quite a bit sometimes when they act like ******** and won't budge at all into at least looking at a situation from a different angle). E types help to bring me out of my quite and reserved shell, which can be both invigorating and exhausting. So I am looking for an E type that I can emotionally connect to (thats not too hard). But they also need to have depth to them and they need to be patient enough to deal with my own reservedness. Finding someone like that seem virtually impossible. What do you guys think about all this?
YakkadyI YakkadyI 16-17, F 7 Responses Apr 15, 2012

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I'm also a teenaged female into and reading this is like you have laid down al my interpersonal and social problems in a clear story - seriously wow. And I like to have read that you are happy, since most INTP's seem a bit depressed and gloomy and I don't want to be like that. I'd rather look on the bright side of life, and for me that is being proud of my never-ending analysis of the world and a need for a deeper understanding. I think more INTP's should just embrace themselves instead of crying over what they're expected to be but what they never can or will be. We are INTP's are awesome as we are, and the very fact that we are a rare kind actually makes me a bit happy - even if that sometimes means a lack of understanding from the outside world.

Im a female teenaged intp too and i am glad you wrote this because I feel the same way, we are quite possibly the same person :)

I'm a teenage INTP as well. And I've noticed that when it comes to relationships, I quite enjoy flirting/messing around. (For that to happen, the guy has to be quite extraverted thought I think. As it is easier for them to start that kind of behaviour. I never take the first step.) But when it comes to feelings and emotions, I tend to be really picky. I've also noticed that I tend to react detached when someone is trying to get closer. I start ignoring them. It's not that I want them to feel bad, it's just that I really don't want to get involved in all the emotional stuff.
Also, a few years ago I took the test several times and I got INFJ. Do any of you know what kind of particular change in personality I got through if now I am an INTP?
(Please excuse my not so perfect english, it's not my first language)

I enjoying "flirting" too,actually(well ,kinda, if what you mean as flirting is like "suddenly being very considerate"). But then I will become a ***** to them for a while. It is very interesting to see their reaction. I don't long to get a boyfriend at my age because it will usually be a hookup but not a relationship I want. I've seen so many of my friends get hurt or become enemies with each other. Hence I don't wanna get involved at all.

Exactly. I am also an INTP girl and I hate dealing with relationships. My friends (all girls) really like gossiping about other people's relationships, but I just don't care. Sometimes when we are hanging out, I can't find a topic we are both interested in to talk about. I think they are kinda drifting away from me.

I can definitely relate to that.

Hey, Im an INTP girl too and I totally get what you said about, well, all of it. I am also attracted to Extraverted people for the same reasons. I have tried to have introverted friends (although ive never met another intp) and I just can't talk to them as well as I can talk to extraverted people, is that weird? As for the thing with guys, YES! I can't just settle for someone who I can't talk to about serious stuff, like sciences and whatnot. It also confuses me, because everyone says im beautiful (don't mean to seem arragont) but not many guys are really 'interested in me'. Ive read that our best match is entj's and lets just say, i wish i had a good looking entj in my class. Heck, i just want to meet one! I read their type description and it is everything i want, so maybe you should do the same (if you haven't already).

Relationships. Ahh aren't they a trip. If I were you I would also look toward the NF's because they are the most emotionally charged personalities; which can be cumbersome but highly fulfilling. They are also intellectuals so stimulating conversation is always possible. They think in a way that would baffle you. Just an idea.

Interesting .