Paranoid Mind

Im quite optimistic type of human, I think

but inside Im so skeptical, cynical, and paranoid. when friends ask advice or help, I'll start telling them ..''be positive/there is a way/ keep optimistic'' etc. but Im, myself always think different, negative paranoid way, and the worst scenario that could happen.

when I was in senior high, I got my paranoid mind to much pressed me, a lot of things hit me, Im not the type to show my feeling, like screaming, crying, yelling around. I used to try to solve the prob first but .. really that period pressed me to the edge of cliff.

then, my mom (ESFJ)  took me to psychiatric, before that she spent a week to force me, cried, told my aunt too to speak with me, anything. the doctor saw me, then asking ''how are u, can u tell me what u feel, be open up, we will try to help..'' etc..

Im not doubting his ability to help people, but Im doubting his capability for helping me, since he ended up giving me presents> anti-depressants, I never touch that med/drug/posion/nuclear bomb in pill form/..?

my mom was so upset, then she took away the med, I dont know where its. Im still thinking> the drug was cut into small pieces, and put on my food and water (LOL silly of me), so till now, I never touch the food at the house again.

I have another paranoid idea, like thinking people around me are monsters who ready to stab me-__-''

I know, there is must be a core of my paranoia, Im working to search and solve it now, till....dont know.

may be I just have to apply that paranoid mind of me into something useful,

 I need any advice from u, the reader.


creamiecoffee creamiecoffee
2 Responses May 14, 2012

Hi Creamie....<br />
I feel like a fence sitter regarding your situation. I was born to a paranoid Mother. Although I sure understand your concern about medication, I can't help but think you, possibly should give it a try. Medication has made my Mom's life more pleasant and of better quality. I would imagine your<br />
Thoughts are not pleasant and may be upsetting...anyway, I hope you find balance, and a good friend doesn't hurt either! Take good care, Hon....

Hi Kathieredart :D
nods, thanks for the advice, really appreciate it!
basically I took a lot vit C and eat a lot of ice creams:D thehe I guess those are my med, T_T I still cant believe on the med, scare Im too addicted on it,etc (others paranoid ideas I have-_-'')
nods, I agree, Im scared of my own thoughts too sometime Kath, you too, take care!

hi friends:D<br />
I hope so Bookerdana, thanks for the advice, very appreciate it!