The Hypersensitive Intp

The hypothesis of hypersensitivity and being intp has been playing in my head for a while. I been meaning to write it down in order to really dissect every aspect of it ( like any good intp) so I'm finally doing.

You know you are an intp <----insert joke here.
You know you are an intp when you have reached the apex of your obsession by physically doing something about it .^^^^
Back to topic...I
My assumptions are based on observations of other intps, myself included , as well as people in my immediate everyday environment.

First , I would like to point out that contrary to popular belief in the MBTI arena , INTPs are NOT androids . Every time I heard and or read that, a random muscle twitch happens somewhere within my body while my mind goes sighing in discontent.
I tried to get to the core of this topic in rational way but after endless loops that eventually got me nowhere I decided to approach it using my feelings(Who would have thought!) A.k.a my Fe.
I valued honesty very much so I'm going open up the curtains so that you can get a sneak peak of my self . Hopefully this will resonate with other INTPs and bring about a feeling of camaraderie and understanding.

There are many people out there that are irresponsible of other people's emotions. Noone can ever truly put themselves in others shoes so even the most harmless comment can be like a dagger in someone's else's heart.
Point and case...this chick here. I have always tried to maintain a harmonious presence to ensure that I wont hurt people's feelings like so many people have hurt mine....sometimes unintentionally , sometimes not.
For instance , I remember my mom telling once how I would look better if I did my hair everyday. When she said that it felt like a mini atomic explosion went off somewhere in the middle of my heart...literally. As the pain expanded I became aware of the after waves of anger and resentment. I then responded by lashing out with a very nasty comeback which I regretted the second it came out. Another example involves my father and his possessive and controlling demeanor which borderlines with psychotic behavior (the epitome of Jekyll and Hyde ). He told me once , no actually several times, how I look like a casted lazy cow on the couch and how i should be doing something productive. This episode felt more like someone making small cuts all around my heart with a razor accompanied by what felt like a very unpleasant rush of adrenaline. That time i held back tears and instead went to my room to cry out my feelings until they were no more. This same chain of reactions has occurred again and agin over the curse of my life until I learnt to how manipulate the outside . I learnt that I could keep the outside nice and pretty while the inside burnt like a forest in the middle of summer. It didn't matter if the comment was meant to be constructive my emotions /feelings had a life of their own. Either they lighted up like a match or they become the shadow of what they could have been.

Because of the nature of me being so sensitive to other people's remarks it has made me wary and not trustful of them. Is not that I care what they think about me , because I KNOW who I am and I have grown to embrace myself and love what I cant change.It's the fact that I can't control these unpleasant reactions that are brought about by them.
This has cause me to wonder; do I shell up because I get hurt? Is my inferior Fe responsible for this? Many think so and I can't really debate it from a Myers-Briggs point . But I have notice that many INTPs struggle with wanting to feel loved and accepted along with not being labeled as weird or boring.
I too struggle with this .

Eventually, this has lead to me having low tolerance for being disappointed as far as ; them liking me , coming through with plans, living up to who they said they were, hypocrisy, despotism from people "who care",knowing/believing there is much more beauty in them than they see etc. So...why bother reaching out or believing when I know that behind the veil is all mirrors and smoke.

If this is way of the mark for you let me know, but I know what's true for me and makes me think. I know that it takes INTPs along time to trust anyone and show their tender side. Why is that? Is it maybe because they can get hurt very easily? I know my trust is almost never truly given. Only very very few have seen my true self. I might sound vain by saying this but I think at its core the essence of my self it beautiful . As is everyones, should they choose to let it be. I keep my Fe behind leaded walls because its fragile yet unbelievably strong , pure yet wicked, naive yet wise. It is my only liaison to my inner child , the one that keeps my optimism alive and reminds me that love is there just need the right prescription glasses.

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6 Responses Jan 10, 2013

You seem to be describing me. I have had a couple of conversations with people online, and shared these feelings, which leads them to believing I am an INFP.

I'll chip in my 5 cents worth.

"do I shell up because I get hurt? Is my inferior Fe responsible for this?"
I know that it takes INTPs along time to trust anyone and show their tender side. Why is that?"

I feel all these questions have a common thread running through them. I only speak from my own experience, which I hope you might find it mirroring yours. I take a long time to trust people because of I instinctively have a few barriers.

First I must believe the another person "see" the real me. In other words, this person understands me 100%. This takes time. This alone discards 99% of the population. I think it is a waste of time to tell people what I am thinking and feeling if they don't get it. It is much more pleasant just be my own best friend. I also find other people tend to judge me in the wrong way. One incorrect comment from them about me shuts me down.

Part of the reason you won't get a lot of replies here is that it's frigging painful for an INTP to even comment publicly about being an INTP. It exposes too much..

People who know me well accuse me of thinking too much.

OF COURSE I DO! It's part of who I am.

The self-doubt is maddening..

"But I have notice that many INTPs struggle with wanting to feel loved and accepted along with not being labeled as weird or boring. I too struggle with this"

PREACH!!! It's not that I'm boring, I'm just not typical. I don't follow a particular pattern that is seen in the majority of people, so I'm automatically labeled 'boring'? That's not fair.

But I agree with you, to expose my feelings to someone else is extremely rare, and if I do, it takes extreme courage. I feel like I must be protecting something, why else would I be this concerned with showing my emotions? Regardless, just because I do not express my emotions as other types do does not make me any less interesting.

I agree with what you've said.
I care very little about what others think of me, but opening up can still be nearly impossible because it means exposing the most vulnerable part of myself. It's not that I don't feel, it's that the process of unleashing and sharing and understand emotions can be overwhelming.
Exposure of INTP's emotions is rare, so they have the potential to be untame and wild / threatening and dangerous.