On The Side

As far as I can tell I am an introvert. I don't make conversation unless it's necessary and I don't say things without some purpose. I never really was one who was super interested in going out with friends. I was fine keeping to myself, staying at home. I actually have two siblings but both are older by more than 8 years so I've always felt like an only child. That makes me a quiet guy, and I've always felt like a passive observer among social groups. People, friends, acquaintances come and go. I never felt like I was part of a single social circle, but I also felt like I was part of them all. I could easily sit in on any conversation and feel a part of it without much input from myself.
However now I realize this is secluding myself from others and I've tried to be more involved. I'm not anti-social in the sense that I'm seeking companionship. I've tried to get closer to my friends. However I still feel like there is a wall there and I know that the foundations were built by me.