Phooey

I am a total introvert. It is even hard to post on here. And I like it and I don't. I really don't like people much. But I feel more safe and content alone.

I guess the worst part about it is that I have 3 beautiful children and it is hard for me to go out and do things with them. Swimming, the park.... I try, but I absolutely hate it. I have a 13 year old son who has taken after me, and two outgoing twins. I guess I'd just really like to show my son there is much more out there, than sitting at home alone.

I work in a job where I am constantly in contact with people. But that doesn't bother me at all, because its just a routine thing. I see them for a minute and then they are gone.

I secretly wish to be able to go out and have fun, and feel normal. Maybe that's not the word, but ... I really enjoy my alone time. BPD here talking, lol.

I also had my kids young, so I really wasn't in the scene of being a carefree adult and experiencing much. So it is hard, and makes me nervous talking with anyone, because I have no experiences, I don't know much about a whole lot. My focus is on my kids. I don't want to seem boring. I have a lot to say. But its all about my children. And most of them haven't had kids. They are still out living it up, having no responsibility's.

I don't know babbling here.....
I guess became an introvert since middle school. People changed, and it was all so superficial and fake. And trust was a big issue.
Babble, babble, babble.
rainmoon rainmoon
31-35, F
5 Responses Aug 1, 2010

I just want my kids to be okay to go out into to the world. I want them to experience what I didn't . There is so much out there. I want them confident, and always full of experiences, always growing, learning, living. I am not a very good example though. :(

i am an introvert as well. I too was a lonely teenage mother of twins it was too hard to get out of the house and my focus is on my four children although i do love going for bike rides and to the beach since i dont work my friends are mostly family or my husbands friends or my kids friends parents other then that nobody knows me or has tried to get to know me so this small town decided to make up rumors to lable me with which are untrue its extreamly upsetting to constantly be insulted by strangers of course i hide myself away for protection. I know that i am a better person than that and its truely their loss because i am sweet and kind. I treat myself and others better then they do i guess my mistake was that i did nothing to distill the rumors amongst the strangers in this small town i just didnt feel like i owed anyone any explination and now from the mass rumors not trumors believe me im just a simple loving mother and wife i have become antisocial and im not sure how to find the desire to make friends

wow<br />
just wow<br />
<br />
i think if we all were to admit it inside , we are all introverts to a degree<br />
one has to make themself get out there and talk and make theirself known<br />
for those who think the extrovert has it made,,,,,,,just giving a little free hands up to ya.<br />
<br />
Alot of times a person who excudes and permeats personality is sometimes the person who is screaming inside ! <br />
screaming to get out and be who they really are....

It is very hard, sometimes I feel like a disappointment to my kids. We do go out. Not that often, but the whole time I am wishing I was at home. <br />
<br />
And I too like how I am and don't. I just feel like there is no room for growth if I don't change a little. But it is so comfortable and safe.

This sounds so much like me and I'm afraid to have kids because I feel I'm too much into myself, alone and all that I would not give anything to my children and I'm afraid of passing this on to a child. I cannot live with more than 3-4 people in home, but yes interaction during job is fine. I too try to be normal and wish but I'm still comfortable with me. I like myself and I don't.