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Eye Contact.

is it just me fellow inni's?
i can't remember a time i held eye contact with anybody but my kids...
i have two theories for myself..
A. i subconsiously think the person will see my dis-intrest in their rant.
B. i can't look at 2 eyes at the same time, i look at one eye back and forth or, start to wonder around their face (maybe bordom) and look at the gap inbetween their eyes or mouth...
just where the hell are you ment to look?
also, if you do make face to face contact with them, conversations tend to drag on a tad. if i look around while still answering the Q's and throwing in a few dummy Q's to give the illusion they have 100% of my attention :) the convo ends faster, (if they got half a clue-they realise i'm being an a$$) and rolleyes and leave . fine by me. i didn't ask you to entertain me fella!:)

comment please...
TheOneyouwerewarnedabout TheOneyouwerewarnedabout 36-40 45 Responses Mar 30, 2012

Your Response


I find myself being this way

It is very awkward for me to hold eye contact. I don't really like to talk to most people so maybe that it why.

There are very few people that I can keep eye contact with. My eyes tend to wonder.
There is one person, that I could get lost in her eyes and often do when talking to her.

Hi TheOneyouwerewarnedabout. Eye contact used to bother me until I read somewhere that a person cannot tell what part of their face you are looking at. Whether you look at the tip of their nose or a pimple on their cheek NOBODY can tell. It is always interpreted as EYE contact. Test it with a friend and see if they can tell you what part of their face you are focussed on. Now that I know this 'eye contact' is easy, or at least it is easy to create the illusion. I can look at someone's flapping jowls and think to myself 'this may possibly be the ugliest human being I have met in my entire life' and they have NO IDEA what I am looking at or thinking to myself. Knowing that I can get away with this makes even obnoxious people easy to deal with because they think I find them amusing. Try it! It always works.

I just realized I have said this before elsewhere but it is a powerful trick and useful if you must deal with unpleasant people such as a supervisor at work or a relative who can be rude when they are drunk. Someone who is being a complete dirtbag does not deserve anything better.

It's because you bore easily, when you do see what interest you, they have your full attention. Eyeballs and all, haha! True story here, I can tell.

You know what.. That's spot on.. Ppl very rarely need to tell me a full story.. It's always predictable or very very boring . But I do latch onto a tasty subject that interests me .. I'm kinda superficial and narcky that way :)

Oooohhh, I don't know, "still waters run deep" I've heard it said, you don't seem superficial.

Iike things my way in a OCD kinda way ;)

I hear that's contagious?! *wink*

the boy. Is a neat freak. lol

That can be a good thing.

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I can't send you a msg!

CAn u pls send me one? I wanna talk some thing important pls.

Privacy settings.. You should be good now

I tend to do the same and people attempt to make me look them in the eyes or drag me without warning into a party.
and i'm class no car no ride so i'm always ******.
people are not my thing.

Boo ppl.. Fist bumps...

Yeah, i don't mind um i have my close friends however even with them i need my time alone more then an hour of socialization even with the people i picked to be friends with i get tired and need alone time. so, -first bump- back i guess

I am an extrovert, plain and simple!

I use eye contact when I want to point out something I'm saying.Otherwise...I really don't know where I look.
And regarding the cutting conversation dra,I'm a master.I am specialized in makinf phone calls as short as possible.
Life is too short.Why waste it on talking when you can play video games ?

:) hey maj. Been well

if still being alive is well,that I am...I guess

Here's what goes through my mind when I'm making sustained eye contact:

Am I interacting normally? Did I look at their eyes too long? Will they think I'm lying if I shift my gaze when I'm talking? ****. Maybe they'll think I'm trying to look honest by NOT shifting gaze when I'm talking. Oh my god... I haven't heard a thing she just said. Ugh. She just said "samesies." Can I cut a ***** for saying "samesies?"

Lol :)

Ha! Fabulous... I tend to watch people's mouths as they speak. Eye contact makes me feel uncomfy. :/


<p>my boss does that eye to eye contact.. I'm bored to death with it!! he goes on and on, ranting, with stupid tangents! its nearly like i cant say anything because that brings on another tangent of wordy, long winded, eye to eye verbal dual!</p>


or you're just a ******' liar

I dont even know sad little retard. **** off and pester someone else. Your a huge loser.

You're* and u don't have to know me for me to state my opinion.

@FitsMyLife, shouldn't you learn to speak properly yourself before you commence to judge the grammar of others. I mean your sentence doesn't even make sense. You correct his "you're" and then you immediately begin your sentence with "u"? Where is your punctuation and capitalization? You don't even know my friend here and yet here you come, acting the fool, since you obviously don't know him. Lying must be your thing! It's called projection. You're correct, you don't need to know someone to have an opinion but guess what? Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has them. What do you think your opinion means to my friend or any of us for that matter (unless they are dumbarses too)? You probably don't care about anyone else's opinion either but guess what, fool? We didn't come, soliciting our opinions on you. So our opinions are the only ones that matter. You asinine imbecile.

I've read only the first two lines of your "opinion" and I already know that you're not some1 I'd want to favor with my life. So please stay away.

Tried hard to find what it was in this story that provoked such an insult. I failed.

how is that an insult? it's just an opinion. I think that those that can't hold eye contact while we're talking are liars ..they don't feel comfortable, they have something to hide.

Oh I see. Sorry Dan, I thought you meant his story was a lie.

However, contrary to common belief, a steady eye contact can often be a tell for lying. People who tell the truth are more prone to wander with their eyes as they gather information from their memory rather than say something rehearsed.

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I'm the It's the most awkwardest thing, but if the person returns it I just look away. Creepy **** I am. I do that eye shifting thing like you mentioned sometimes.

If someone look me in the eyes for long I feel I either have to kill them or **** them. To avoid awkward social dilemma I either avoid eye contact or I just bite my lip, resist the urge and ping-pong my focus between looking at their left and right eye. I can look at their nose too, but looking at the mouth is risky; the powerful urge to stab a rusty pipe through the teeth hard to the back of the throat and thoroughly grazing the roof of his gums/alternatively deeply kiss her with one hand up under her shirt and one holding her head/hair firmly becomes so strong I can't be held responsible for what I'll do.

However, as you said too, my children are fine. I can look them in their eyes forever without my blood starting to boil.

My gender is "Randahl", I've kissed men too. It's not worse than kissing ugly girls.

I know! I always feel like I'm staring at someone if I make eye contact too long- it's uncomfortable!


I have a hard time making eye contact unless I feel safe with the person. I feel you.

is eye contact is a must for friendship and communication. because i am tired of trying and always fail

I do that, too—my eyes look at one eye at a time (or I'll start looking at their cheeks, notice things on their faces and stuff). Worse, when someone is talking to me and I'm paying close attention, my eyes just automatically wander to their mouth. I just do that because it's moving, and yeah... that's where the words are coming out of.

I'm sure I've made some people feel awkward when I mindlessly do that, lol. Ah well.

In my experience people have no idea what part of their face you are looking at. They all perceive it as 'eye contact' even if it is not. My full response to this story is dated 21 Jan 2013

You summed it all up rather nicely. Social retards like me don't know what to do during simple conversation. XP

Gee after all these years in Queensland, the sunshine state, none of the sunshine has landed in your heart.

Try and smile at a stranger, people just love it when we give them recognition that we see them that they exist. Their eyes light up.

I have done this for the last 4 years in Sydney, it changed my world. I am no longer a post menopausal moody grump.

Hugs and SunShine…

im from newcastle... and i dont have much left to smile about

I found this out a long time ago. A person usually has no idea what part of their face you are looking at. You can easily test this with someone you trust to give you an honest answer. Stand in front of them close enough to have a conversation stare at their nose and ask them what part of their face you are focussed on. They may guess it by random chance once but not consistently. Whenever someone is behaving in an embarrassing or threatening way you can just stare at the tip of their nose and they will never sense that you broke eye contact. You may not enjoy the company of someone who makes you feel threatened but sometimes this is unavoidable such as when you have to deal with someone that you know to be dishonest or manipulative. You may feel uncomfortable but if you continue to look at some part of their face they will never know.

<p>I often wonder what the hell do they want A staring Contest??!!!</p>


If you're too close you can look at just one eye...



Well this is a complete surprise - never would have picked you as an Introvert. You have a very quick and funny wit. This was so humourous. Are you're kids amused or embarrassed? :))))

well i like to think they think im cool ? lol

I'm sure they do! lol

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." - Mark Twain

I've heard that one! It's good :)

It is one of my favorites


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OMGawd!!! hahahahaha really funny!!!!

I actually don't like staring ppl in their eyes either haha I KNOW I'm an Introvert and this may sound mean but unless I say or ask or call yah' leave me alone.

same. ;) i dont care what ppl are doing on the weekend. or how their family is. and i don't care to share this info with strangers.. ;)

....well IF they feel like they want to share their weekend with me OKAY but it WON'T be cause' I called to ask lol and everyone KNOWS me and they know whatever the weekend beholds I'd rather be ALONE.

I have a minimum of 15 minutes IF they care to visit lol cause that's all I can stand...unless their's something Specific on their mind but otherwise that's all the conversation I have.

you are too funny. :-P<br />
How old are the kiddies (no answer necessary).

15 and 6 now...

I have wondered how you are suppose to look at someone in both their eyes simultaneously.

Thanks :-) Any issues with the age gap, or do you think it makes them closer?
So, with the whole eye contact thing- Do you have any advice on how to get through an interview? I've been a Temp (which has helped me avoid the interviewing process) so any suggestions would be appreciated.

fake it ;)... iv'e never been comfortable with it.. false confidence and arrogence maybe?..

sounds like about my only bet. Thank you

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I have actually thought the whole face thing myself too. If you pay attention to the words and not so much the face it makes it less awkward and easier to look at them. This might sound wierd if you don't understand what I mean but "look with your ears"

Odizzle94 even though I'm reading this "look with your ears" sounds good. My full reply is on Jan 21 2013. People can't tell what part of their face you are looking at. If you have an important reason for needing to maintain the illusion of eye contact stare at any part of their face and they will never know.