Eye Contact.

is it just me fellow inni's?
i can't remember a time i held eye contact with anybody but my kids...
i have two theories for myself..
A. i subconsiously think the person will see my dis-intrest in their rant.
B. i can't look at 2 eyes at the same time, i look at one eye back and forth or, start to wonder around their face (maybe bordom) and look at the gap inbetween their eyes or mouth...
just where the hell are you ment to look?
also, if you do make face to face contact with them, conversations tend to drag on a tad. if i look around while still answering the Q's and throwing in a few dummy Q's to give the illusion they have 100% of my attention :) the convo ends faster, (if they got half a clue-they realise i'm being an a$$) and rolleyes and leave . fine by me. i didn't ask you to entertain me fella!:)

comment please...
TheOneyouwerewarnedabout TheOneyouwerewarnedabout
37 Responses Mar 30, 2012

To add to the confusion, i have a friend with a lazy eye! Its like im looking through old 3-d glasses, red, blue, red, blue.... i have no idea where to look. Everything else you said is spot on.


I find myself being this way

It is very awkward for me to hold eye contact. I don't really like to talk to most people so maybe that it why.

Hi TheOneyouwerewarnedabout. Eye contact used to bother me until I read somewhere that a person cannot tell what part of their face you are looking at. Whether you look at the tip of their nose or a pimple on their cheek NOBODY can tell. It is always interpreted as EYE contact. Test it with a friend and see if they can tell you what part of their face you are focussed on. Now that I know this 'eye contact' is easy, or at least it is easy to create the illusion. I can look at someone's flapping jowls and think to myself 'this may possibly be the ugliest human being I have met in my entire life' and they have NO IDEA what I am looking at or thinking to myself. Knowing that I can get away with this makes even obnoxious people easy to deal with because they think I find them amusing. Try it! It always works.

I just realized I have said this before elsewhere but it is a powerful trick and useful if you must deal with unpleasant people such as a supervisor at work or a relative who can be rude when they are drunk. Someone who is being a complete dirtbag does not deserve anything better.

I can't send you a msg!

CAn u pls send me one? I wanna talk some thing important pls.

Privacy settings.. You should be good now

I use eye contact when I want to point out something I'm saying.Otherwise...I really don't know where I look.
And regarding the cutting conversation dra,I'm a master.I am specialized in makinf phone calls as short as possible.
Life is too short.Why waste it on talking when you can play video games ?

:) hey maj. Been well

if still being alive is well,that I am...I guess

Here's what goes through my mind when I'm making sustained eye contact:

Am I interacting normally? Did I look at their eyes too long? Will they think I'm lying if I shift my gaze when I'm talking? ****. Maybe they'll think I'm trying to look honest by NOT shifting gaze when I'm talking. Oh my god... I haven't heard a thing she just said. Ugh. She just said "samesies." Can I cut a ***** for saying "samesies?"

Lol :)

Ha! Fabulous... I tend to watch people's mouths as they speak. Eye contact makes me feel uncomfy. :/


<p>my boss does that eye to eye contact.. I'm bored to death with it!! he goes on and on, ranting, with stupid tangents! its nearly like i cant say anything because that brings on another tangent of wordy, long winded, eye to eye verbal dual!</p>


or you're just a ******' liar

I dont even know you.you sad little retard. **** off and pester someone else. Your a huge loser.

You're* and u don't have to know me for me to state my opinion.

I've read only the first two lines of your "opinion" and I already know that you're not some1 I'd want to favor with my life. So please stay away.

how is that an insult? it's just an opinion. I think that those that can't hold eye contact while we're talking are liars ..they don't feel comfortable, they have something to hide.

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I'm the opposite...lol It's the most awkwardest thing, but if the person returns it I just look away. Creepy **** I am. I do that eye shifting thing like you mentioned sometimes.

I know! I always feel like I'm staring at someone if I make eye contact too long- it's uncomfortable!


I do that, too—my eyes look at one eye at a time (or I'll start looking at their cheeks, notice things on their faces and stuff). Worse, when someone is talking to me and I'm paying close attention, my eyes just automatically wander to their mouth. I just do that because it's moving, and yeah... that's where the words are coming out of.

I'm sure I've made some people feel awkward when I mindlessly do that, lol. Ah well.

In my experience people have no idea what part of their face you are looking at. They all perceive it as 'eye contact' even if it is not. My full response to this story is dated 21 Jan 2013

You summed it all up rather nicely. Social retards like me don't know what to do during simple conversation. XP

Gee after all these years in Queensland, the sunshine state, none of the sunshine has landed in your heart.

Try and smile at a stranger, people just love it when we give them recognition that we see them that they exist. Their eyes light up.

I have done this for the last 4 years in Sydney, it changed my world. I am no longer a post menopausal moody grump.

Hugs and SunShine…

im from newcastle... and i dont have much left to smile about

I found this out a long time ago. A person usually has no idea what part of their face you are looking at. You can easily test this with someone you trust to give you an honest answer. Stand in front of them close enough to have a conversation stare at their nose and ask them what part of their face you are focussed on. They may guess it by random chance once but not consistently. Whenever someone is behaving in an embarrassing or threatening way you can just stare at the tip of their nose and they will never sense that you broke eye contact. You may not enjoy the company of someone who makes you feel threatened but sometimes this is unavoidable such as when you have to deal with someone that you know to be dishonest or manipulative. You may feel uncomfortable but if you continue to look at some part of their face they will never know.

<p>I often wonder what the hell do they want A staring Contest??!!!</p>


If you're too close you can look at just one eye...


Well this is a complete surprise - never would have picked you as an Introvert. You have a very quick and funny wit. This was so humourous. Are you're kids amused or embarrassed? :))))

well i like to think they think im cool ? lol

I'm sure they do! lol

I've heard that one! It's good :)


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OMGawd!!! hahahahaha really funny!!!!

I actually don't like staring ppl in their eyes either haha I KNOW I'm an Introvert and this may sound mean but unless I say or ask or call yah' leave me alone.

same. ;) i dont care what ppl are doing on the weekend. or how their family is. and i don't care to share this info with strangers.. ;)

....well IF they feel like they want to share their weekend with me OKAY but it WON'T be cause' I called to ask lol and everyone KNOWS me and they know whatever the weekend beholds I'd rather be ALONE.

I have a minimum of 15 minutes IF they care to visit lol cause that's all I can stand...unless their's something Specific on their mind but otherwise that's all the conversation I have.

you are too funny. :-P<br />
How old are the kiddies (no answer necessary).

15 and 6 now...

I have wondered how you are suppose to look at someone in both their eyes simultaneously.

Thanks :-) Any issues with the age gap, or do you think it makes them closer?
So, with the whole eye contact thing- Do you have any advice on how to get through an interview? I've been a Temp (which has helped me avoid the interviewing process) so any suggestions would be appreciated.

fake it ;)... iv'e never been comfortable with it.. false confidence and arrogence maybe?..

sounds like about my only bet. Thank you

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I have actually thought the whole face thing myself too. If you pay attention to the words and not so much the face it makes it less awkward and easier to look at them. This might sound wierd if you don't understand what I mean but "look with your ears"

Odizzle94 even though I'm reading this "look with your ears" sounds good. My full reply is on Jan 21 2013. People can't tell what part of their face you are looking at. If you have an important reason for needing to maintain the illusion of eye contact stare at any part of their face and they will never know.

I always make eye contact, if only for a moment. This is usually how I determine who is a threat and who is not. I have been known to stare at some people until they look away.

Me too exactly KlaraVoyet. I always make momentary eye contact for the same reason but usually do not bother to maintain it unless I have reason to believe that the other person is a menace. It is not about impressing anyone but rather about evaluating threat. Don't ask me to prove this but the eyes never lie. Expressions like "if looks could kill" and "he looked daggers at me" entered our language for a reason.

I stink at eye contact. It's extremely uncomfortable for me, so I usually wind up slightly un-focusing my eyes and aiming my gaze at the bridge of their nose. Or I work to keep my hands (and therefore eyes) busy most of the time so I have an excuse to not make eye contact.

I used to hate eye contact, made me feel awkward staring into someone else's orbs 0_0 but now...I'm more used and more accepting of it ONLY if its less than two-three seconds...otherwise it'll get creepy....! :/

I seldom look people in the eyes unless I'm angry. Then you better effin run!:) It's like the cyclopes thing, ya know, lasers shoot out of my eyes. lol Chit chat bores me and even if I like somebody and it goes on too long I just end up walking away. On here I'm way more chatty. I get it, that's my point.

hi 5's we'd get along

I have a hard time maintaining eye contact. I'm not comfortable with it. For some reason I tend to listen better to what people are saying when I'm not focusing on the eyes.

Augh. It is so hard for me to look new people in the eye. But once I know em I don't mind chatting. I'm a habitual multitasker, so while they're yammering away I'm also thinking of ways to change the flow of conversation so it ends quicker or moves towards a topic I'm interested in or think of something that amuses me more and listen to them. I've been called out too many times for being direct in my speech and not smiling enough at work that it's rote now. I can do the people thing just so long as I get enough time ALONE.

I've always had trouble with eye contact. It just makes me uncomfortable. Thats not to say I CAN'T make eye contact, I can get my nuts up when it counts. That is important times like job interviews, arguments, romantic conquest, ect.

oh hell yeah. i will burn your eyes out in an argument..lol.. but you get my drift huh?.. i'd have to concerntrate to do it of the cuff

Exactly! I have to actually REMEMBER and think "eye contact"

I'm a half-introvert (I don't like talking unless something NEEDS to be talked about/practical) but I do look people in the eye 9 times out of 10... You'd probably turn your back to me, cause I'd keep focusing in on your eyes, lol

i'd look for a distraction :)

could I peek over your shoulder?

You should read John Robison's book "Look me in the eye." I'm pretty sure you would find it interesting.

is it a manual?. i got a fair bit from the introvert advantage..

I have a job where I am required to talk to people whether I want to or not. I have found that sometimes the opposite is true. For some people it is MORE disturbing for me to stare into their eyes intently, rather than look elsewhere. It seems to bother them and I have to admit that I find it amusing. They also tend to zip it quicker and walk away. Sometimes a double bonus! ;)

But I bet you can look people in their eyes if it's a photo....

Could you maintain eye contact with me? ;)

i wanna say yes :), but this is why i asked. with you it wouldn't be (annoying person) it would be (new) person. and since i prolly wouldn't want to fcuk it up.... where do i look and how would you feel if i couldn't? knowing why because i've told you,

Don't worry I wouldn't be able to look at you either! lmao

Do people see it as a sign of weakness?

last of my concerns :) but a good Q never the less. the more i think about it . i csn hold a covo with fatty or my ma and pa. .. weakness? i try to be rude :)