Post

Eye Contact.

is it just me fellow inni's?
i can't remember a time i held eye contact with anybody but my kids...
i have two theories for myself..
A. i subconsiously think the person will see my dis-intrest in their rant.
B. i can't look at 2 eyes at the same time, i look at one eye back and forth or, start to wonder around their face (maybe bordom) and look at the gap inbetween their eyes or mouth...
just where the hell are you ment to look?
also, if you do make face to face contact with them, conversations tend to drag on a tad. if i look around while still answering the Q's and throwing in a few dummy Q's to give the illusion they have 100% of my attention :) the convo ends faster, (if they got half a clue-they realise i'm being an a$$) and rolleyes and leave . fine by me. i didn't ask you to entertain me fella!:)

comment please...
TheOneyouwerewarnedabout TheOneyouwerewarnedabout 70+ 40 Responses Mar 30, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

eye contact with dudes i can do because i'll be damned if i seem week, eye contact with female not so much, unless they really seem interested and non judgemental.. fake it till you make it man, whatever makes you feel comfortable.. i am a huge intro too.. so much so that i was going to make a clothing line for us called "INTRO*" ... true story :p

Il sponsor it lol

don't lie to me.... lol

I thought about printing my own shirts for yrs.. Unique ..
And one design would have been 'inni'

i like the inni design man.. but man unique is probably taken lol.. you could probably name it like Unique Clothing Co. or Unique Couture or something to give you a better chance at names

1 More Response

I know what you mean. Ideally when you look at someone they see your eyes glaze over, but if you're too good at paying attention they mistake it for genuine interest. It's a tricky, slippery slope for me these days trying to figure out how to get a win-win. It seems like being polite sometimes involves masochism. Times like these call for the Wrap It Up box.

I look at anything else the talker hoping for a subject changer :)

i feel squeemish being so inconsiderate but i just might have to do this more often for the sake of saving dwindling time for more interesting things. sometimes id rather be lost in thought than listening to blah

I don't mind a good convo or a giggle. But just talking **** to fill the silent times irritates me :)

I hate actually being told that I don't look in the people's eyes when I speak to them .Well excuse me that i am not starring at you.

Lol

Eye contact is not easy for most of us. I tend to look at the bridge of their nose? Looking for crossed eyes, maybe?

It is uncomfortable that is my reason and most people look away if you try.

Ha! Fabulous... I tend to watch people's mouths as they speak. Eye contact makes me feel uncomfy. :/

:)

Well what if what the person is sayin is interesting or even shocking for that matter? Is there nothing that warrants eye contact?

Not for more then a second or two :)

Never? O.o

Never say never. But. Not often :)

Yeah I figure there are "some" moment where there is some eye contact.

yea im not into staring a contest

2 More Responses

<p>my boss does that eye to eye contact.. I'm bored to death with it!! he goes on and on, ranting, with stupid tangents! its nearly like i cant say anything because that brings on another tangent of wordy, long winded, eye to eye verbal dual!</p>

Lol

or you're just a ******' liar

I dont even know you.you sad little retard. **** off and pester someone else. Your a huge loser.

You're* and u don't have to know me for me to state my opinion.

Tried hard to find what it was in this story that provoked such an insult. I failed.

how is that an insult? it's just an opinion. I think that those that can't hold eye contact while we're talking are liars ..they don't feel comfortable, they have something to hide.

Oh I see. Sorry Dan, I thought you meant his story was a lie.

However, contrary to common belief, a steady eye contact can often be a tell for lying. People who tell the truth are more prone to wander with their eyes as they gather information from their memory rather than say something rehearsed.

2 More Responses

I'm the opposite...lol It's the most awkwardest thing, but if the person returns it I just look away. Creepy **** I am. I do that eye shifting thing like you mentioned sometimes.

If someone look me in the eyes for long I feel I either have to kill them or **** them. To avoid awkward social dilemma I either avoid eye contact or I just bite my lip, resist the urge and ping-pong my focus between looking at their left and right eye. I can look at their nose too, but looking at the mouth is risky; the powerful urge to stab a rusty pipe through the teeth hard to the back of the throat and thoroughly grazing the roof of his gums/alternatively deeply kiss her with one hand up under her shirt and one holding her head/hair firmly becomes so strong I can't be held responsible for what I'll do.

However, as you said too, my children are fine. I can look them in their eyes forever without my blood starting to boil.

My gender is "Randahl", I've kissed men too. It's not worse than kissing ugly girls.

I know! I always feel like I'm staring at someone if I make eye contact too long- it's uncomfortable!

lol

I have a hard time making eye contact unless I feel safe with the person. I feel you.

is eye contact is a must for friendship and communication. because i am tired of trying and always fail

I do that, too—my eyes look at one eye at a time (or I'll start looking at their cheeks, notice things on their faces and stuff). Worse, when someone is talking to me and I'm paying close attention, my eyes just automatically wander to their mouth. I just do that because it's moving, and yeah... that's where the words are coming out of.

I'm sure I've made some people feel awkward when I mindlessly do that, lol. Ah well.

In my experience people have no idea what part of their face you are looking at. They all perceive it as 'eye contact' even if it is not. My full response to this story is dated 21 Jan 2013

You summed it all up rather nicely. Social retards like me don't know what to do during simple conversation. XP

Gee after all these years in Queensland, the sunshine state, none of the sunshine has landed in your heart.

Try and smile at a stranger, people just love it when we give them recognition that we see them that they exist. Their eyes light up.

I have done this for the last 4 years in Sydney, it changed my world. I am no longer a post menopausal moody grump.

Hugs and SunShine…

im from newcastle... and i dont have much left to smile about

I found this out a long time ago. A person usually has no idea what part of their face you are looking at. You can easily test this with someone you trust to give you an honest answer. Stand in front of them close enough to have a conversation stare at their nose and ask them what part of their face you are focussed on. They may guess it by random chance once but not consistently. Whenever someone is behaving in an embarrassing or threatening way you can just stare at the tip of their nose and they will never sense that you broke eye contact. You may not enjoy the company of someone who makes you feel threatened but sometimes this is unavoidable such as when you have to deal with someone that you know to be dishonest or manipulative. You may feel uncomfortable but if you continue to look at some part of their face they will never know.

<p>I often wonder what the hell do they want A staring Contest??!!!</p>

Lol

If you're too close you can look at just one eye...

LOL

Well this is a complete surprise - never would have picked you as an Introvert. You have a very quick and funny wit. This was so humourous. Are you're kids amused or embarrassed? :))))

well i like to think they think im cool ? lol

I'm sure they do! lol

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." - Mark Twain

I've heard that one! It's good :)

It is one of my favorites

:))

3 More Responses

OMGawd!!! hahahahaha really funny!!!!

I actually don't like staring ppl in their eyes either haha I KNOW I'm an Introvert and this may sound mean but unless I say or ask or call yah' leave me alone.

same. ;) i dont care what ppl are doing on the weekend. or how their family is. and i don't care to share this info with strangers.. ;)

....well IF they feel like they want to share their weekend with me OKAY but it WON'T be cause' I called to ask lol and everyone KNOWS me and they know whatever the weekend beholds I'd rather be ALONE.

I have a minimum of 15 minutes IF they care to visit lol cause that's all I can stand...unless their's something Specific on their mind but otherwise that's all the conversation I have.

you are too funny. :-P<br />
How old are the kiddies (no answer necessary).

15 and 6 now...

I have wondered how you are suppose to look at someone in both their eyes simultaneously.

Thanks :-) Any issues with the age gap, or do you think it makes them closer?
So, with the whole eye contact thing- Do you have any advice on how to get through an interview? I've been a Temp (which has helped me avoid the interviewing process) so any suggestions would be appreciated.

fake it ;)... iv'e never been comfortable with it.. false confidence and arrogence maybe?..

sounds like about my only bet. Thank you

2 More Responses

I have actually thought the whole face thing myself too. If you pay attention to the words and not so much the face it makes it less awkward and easier to look at them. This might sound wierd if you don't understand what I mean but "look with your ears"

Odizzle94 even though I'm reading this "look with your ears" sounds good. My full reply is on Jan 21 2013. People can't tell what part of their face you are looking at. If you have an important reason for needing to maintain the illusion of eye contact stare at any part of their face and they will never know.

I always make eye contact, if only for a moment. This is usually how I determine who is a threat and who is not. I have been known to stare at some people until they look away.

Me too exactly KlaraVoyet. I always make momentary eye contact for the same reason but usually do not bother to maintain it unless I have reason to believe that the other person is a menace. It is not about impressing anyone but rather about evaluating threat. Don't ask me to prove this but the eyes never lie. Expressions like "if looks could kill" and "he looked daggers at me" entered our language for a reason.

I stink at eye contact. It's extremely uncomfortable for me, so I usually wind up slightly un-focusing my eyes and aiming my gaze at the bridge of their nose. Or I work to keep my hands (and therefore eyes) busy most of the time so I have an excuse to not make eye contact.

I used to hate eye contact, made me feel awkward staring into someone else's orbs 0_0 but now...I'm more used and more accepting of it ONLY if its less than two-three seconds...otherwise it'll get creepy....! :/

I seldom look people in the eyes unless I'm angry. Then you better effin run!:) It's like the cyclopes thing, ya know, lasers shoot out of my eyes. lol Chit chat bores me and even if I like somebody and it goes on too long I just end up walking away. On here I'm way more chatty. I get it, that's my point.

hi 5's we'd get along

I have a hard time maintaining eye contact. I'm not comfortable with it. For some reason I tend to listen better to what people are saying when I'm not focusing on the eyes.