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Why Me?

Why do I have to be so introverted? I wish I could change this about myself. I am so introverted that I don't hear people when they talk to me. I am so deep in thought all the time that I am unaware of my surroundings. Yeah it's normal to get that way sometimes when you have alot on your mind. But this is all the time. It seems to be automatic. When someone starts talking to me it's like I set up autopilot and go sit down in the back somewhere until they're finished. Am I really that uninterested in what others have to say? Maybe I'm just burned out at my job. Then again I notice I do that at home too. I am so busy thinking and tinkering around inside my own head that I'm oblivious to everything else. I wish it were not this bad. Just imagine how uninteresting I must be. It must seem as if I have the personality of a soap dish.
vicarious1 vicarious1 36-40, F 26 Responses Jul 20, 2012

Your Response


You sound like me. You're just different to other people which is a good thing to me.

Try to work at listening. I read a book some time back that stated listening takes effort. I never understood that until then. Over the years I've git dramatically better

I am an introvert too baby. I can relate......

can we talk?

would you like to change this pattern ?

or are you just venting ?

Give you a break. you have been through more **** I can't even imagine me getting through what you have!!!

Lol same here. Have you always been this way, or did something happen to make you like this? Just wondering because I would like to think that at some point life as an introvert would get better....

I have the same problem I am often accused of not listening

It's hard to be there for others when you are trying to find healing yourself. You are searching, missing and the answer is not obvious. You are lonely, feeling unimportant to others, and can't figure out why you are even alive. You've come to your wits end, wanting to call it quits. The world seems so preoccupied with unimportant things and you feel overwhelmed. No one understands you. No one gets you. You just don't fit in anywhere, and it drains you to the point you just don't care about anything. It's a pit and you think you you can hop out any time you want, only to realize you don't want to. And that is the problem.

Why don't you want to? What is it that is keeping you down? What is eating at your soul?

I think this is very attractive and you would intrigue me greatly...

Lol, I am the same way.

I too know exactly how you feel. People bust me all the time for not really listening to what they are saying.. Part of me is thinking that what they say doesn't matter so I tune them out.. Anyway I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.. Now what do we do about it? Thats the 1million dollar question.

I know exactly how you feel.

Very interesting, I really relate to this. When you say you are so deep in though that you are unaware of suroundings... that is exactly how i feel. When people talk to me i usually just listen but don't really pay attention. I hate being introverted too, its nice sometimes, but even when i try to be more of an extrovert i can't seem to accomplish it to well. Its the genes that coded our personality that is what I blame. : D DAmn Jeans. or no genes lol.

I can understand that. I used to be like that really bad in my late teens, but usually when I would get extremely preoccupied with something I'd read about or see on TV or the Internet. It would take up sooooo much headspace for me that my mind could get severely clouded and distant from everybody else. It was terrible to be like that. I'm glad I've mellowed out in life though and learned how not to get so caught up in stuff.

Wow I could not have said that better myself, that is me! Accept maybe that I here what everyone says to me on like sum level but what there saying doesn't seem to resonate enough for me to respond and it is totally not my intention to ignore anyone but I do

I was a bit introverted in my teens, but I don't know how I got over it. Looking back, I feel like I was pulled out of it because I literally felt like my whole world was in my head for those few years. Hope you're coping well.

im like you at times, its not because im introverted i just want to be in my own thoughts and ideas that matter to me. people or the conversation just dont seem to interest me enough to take part in what others have to say. thanks for sharing

Lushiro's post makes a lot of sense. I have read some of this in Psychology.


im like that too im very shy and antisocial, why cant girls like you live near me!well this was written 10 months ago idk if you still feel this way

You know, it never crossed my mind that you are uninteresting. I was reading your story, interested, and then, you brought up how uninteresting you must be. Never crossed my mind! We tend to be pretty hard on ourselves, don't we? Thanks for your pleasant reply to what I had written! It was nice...

I'd be interested to see if I could help you change your introversion's extreme nature. I'm an introvert too, but it doesn't have to be so limiting.

You just have alot on your mind

Quite some time ago, I came to the realization that some people's brains are not constantly thinking-deep in though as you put it. I thought at the time, "wow-how can they do that?" It would be nice to be able to turn it off sometimes. But then again, it may also be kinda boring. I dunno.

I was also-still kinda am- introverted. But since I got into sales & management, I had to come out of my shell years ago. It took a little effort, but now it comes naturally. I can be the life of a party when I want-a real clown. I can make people laugh, and it's fun to do so. Part of that ability I think, is due to the non-stop brain. Stuff pops up and so you tend to be quicker than some others.

I think that the down side is when we don't control it. I like to collect quotes, and one of my favorites is:
"The highest stage in moral ure at which we can arrive is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts."

...although, I think it is not simply a moral thing, but also a path to happiness. Depending on how we channel them, I think they can be highly useful & rewarding,,,,,or destructive. Maybe that's where you have to work-controlling the thoughts-working toward something that is of interest to you; a raw talent that can be refined. Breaking through the barrier of your social discomfort. When dealing with people, try to engage more-be an active and upbeat participant.

Don't allow obstacles to hinder you-use them as achievements instead.

My head is so scrambled up with depression.A blanket of storm clouds constantly covers me,life is not worth living.

I hope things have changed and gotten more bearable for you. I feel bad when I hear someone feeling this way. Let me know if I can help in some way. Stay up...

Honestly being introverted has its advantages and disadvantages. Simply because we are deep thinkers, we get out energy from solitary confinement and sole practices (reading, painting, meditation, etc), people who are loud and gregarious, full of energy drain us and we cannot completely synchronize with them because we have to recharge sooner or later, extroverts gain their energy from the activities and socialization while we're more reclusive, make sense? It's not a disease or a condition, just another way of life. I'm glad I ran into your story so I can shed some light on this. I learned a lot about this subject some months ago. If you have anymore questions feel free to ask. I'll do my best to assist you Vicarious.