Ever Feel Guilty For Your Temperament?

Introverts get a bad wrap for being quiet.

Our culture expects us to rush in and fill in the silence with talk. Have you ever felt the need to apologize for being quiet? Do you beat yourself up for not having something witty to say or have the urge to bolt from a room? Yeah. This is actually normal for introverts.

I cannot tell you how many times I have been with a group of people whom I am was not close with and I literally felt as if I was sucking the life out of the room. There definitely was the sense that these people were uncomfortable to be their loud selves around me and this made me feel badly. I did not want them to feel uncomfortable so I would often excuse myself so I could go be where I wanted- happily alone.

"Don't let people charge you with guilt for your temperament. You are not doing anything to extroverts because you are different."
-Marti Olsen Laney

Over time, I learned that it was ok for me to leave a crowd early, especially if my energy felt low. These secret breaks often make introverts feel guilty for not wanting to be "part of the gang". Taking a time out for you is both healthy and necessary. Once your energy is back up you can rejoin the group more easily and are more likely to greet people with enthusiasm.

Tell me, how do you take your time outs? Do you ever feel guilty for doing so?

CMHerron CMHerron
41-45, F
7 Responses Dec 10, 2012

I can relate. I very often 'need some air' when I'm with a large crowd. I understand and am more comfortable with my introversion now than I used to be so I try to be honest when I need to recharge. Not everyone understands or accepts it, sadly.

Oh, and to answer your question, I spend a lot of time working alone in my office, send e-mails or texts instead of call, and sometimes take extended bathroom breaks.

"...sucking the life out of the room..." That made me laugh. I feel that way a lot. I feel like I make people uncomfortable. I am jealous of my extrovert husband sometimes, because people warm up to him so fast and then turn completely cold around me. It takes me such a LONG time to build relationships.

they make up alot of myths about introverts that are simply not true

yeah i know society doesnt know half of what they are talking about - they make assumptions that introverts are shy - they are not shy people - some of them are yes but in general shyness has little to do with introversion - and they make up assumptions - thats all they are

I spent all day out with people from my university course today, and had an interview for volunteer work. And then I get home and get bombarded with invitations out, which I just do not have the energy for. It's really gutting because I feel like I am missing out on massive experiences. I tend to read when I need time outs or pretend I have work to do if I need an excuse.

Yes, I took my timeouts- but when I got up from my nap everybody was gone!

This isn't a snarky comment- just the only way I can describe it. Taxi~