Is It Always Going To Be This Hard?

I've recently moved to university and am currently sharing a house with a group of five other students. The problem is that, whilst they are all lovely people, they are all extroverts and don't understand my need to withdraw a lot. This has ended in me having to turn down time with them because I've been out for hours at a time and need to spend some time to recharge and be by myself. I don't want to seem rude, but I can't physically spend so much time around people and in social situations. I think they've started thinking that they're doing something wrong. It's making me really uncomfortable because I don't want to offend them, and I almost want to leave university and go back home where it's acceptable for me to take time for myself. My family all understand and are really supportive of how I feel, but it's a hard thing to explain to people who need social situations to feel energised.
Any advice is more than welcome. Has anyone else had to deal with this?
SophiieLaurenn SophiieLaurenn
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 13, 2012

The good part is you are acutely aware of the dynamics. When I was in university I pretended to be like the rest, trying to put on an extraverted facade and paying a heavy price for it. It's easy to be told to be yourself when you are an extravert. We as introverts not only need more space, we respond more intensely to stimulus. Upsets and disappointments are magnified. We have a hard time as it is just keeping life above water let alone trying to manage the external world. We have to learn to manage this intensity. Elaine Aron says that a high percentage of highly sensitive people have this same response to university life to the point they want to quit. It's not because they are not smart enough. I have been teaching for 20 years and my colleagues know my need for space. I rarely accept invitations and they have learned to accept this limitation. I think people have lesser expectations as they age I guess.