Spare me the empty conversations. Has anyone ever had any luck getting an empty conversation to become more real and substantial? Even online this is difficult, and it seems it would be easier with the written word (time to think, consider, type).

I find someone interesting and initiate a conversation but all I get back is "So, what did you do today?" I answer this question and ask it myself, but then I get a response like "So, what do you watch on Netflix?"

I call these people the one-sentence wonders...
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26-30
3 Responses Aug 25, 2014

I consider myself an introvert too. I can have long talks about things that are mutually interesting. I cannot start or sustain a conversation with someone cold, unless somehow we quickly find a mutual interest that I care about. And although I do watch Netflix, that won't do it :-).
And, yes, because of that, I pretty much flunked seduction in college and never did well picking up chicks in bars. Later in life I learned that is just the way I am.

I've seen an interesting definition of who is introverted, I'm pretty sure here on EP. It goes as follows:
Introverts expend energy when around other people. They reenergize/recharge when they are alone.
Extroverts are energized when they are around others, but expend energy when they are alone.
I'm not sure that has anything to do with the difficulty of having inane conversations with people we have nothing in common with.

From your 2nd ("classic") link:
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Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing.
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I rest my case :-)

I read it carefully, the whole thing. My view is that all the other stuff is what follows from the direction of energy transference. I think the "primal cause" is what I quoted. All the other stuff in that section of the article was effect.

Glad I got my point across :-). I always try to distill complex things down to the primal cause.

Viva la difference!

2 More Responses

Wow, I feel this way too sometimes. I must say, I'm not an introvert. I feel I'm more extrovert. But I believe one of my introvert qualities is not being able to connect with others on a more personal level. Id love to have a conversation with you sometime! Maybe you could feel a "real conversation" with me! And vice versa. I'd love to accept that challenge.

I'd be happy to accept such a challenge and be a two-sentence wonder, perhaps even three if I'm feeling daring.