Being An Introvert Is Good And Bad......

I've been reading different stories on here and thinking, "There ARE other people like me!"

I'm a severe introvert in many ways, when I was a kid I used to think something was wrong with me. I never liked going to  parties, hanging out with lots of other kids, or being around people too often in general. I made friends here and there, but only a few have lasted b/c most people didn't understand me and I didn't understand them. When I was a teenager I found most other teens to be boring and shallow-minded. They would want to include me in their conversations but would talk about the most boring, meaningless subjects to me. I would try to listen and feel like I was being rude b/c I would literally be struggling to concentrate on them. I found out  recently that that is one of the traits of an introvert - and found since I've been in my twenties now that the more deeper and meaningful the conversation is, the more alert and awake my mind feels.

The weird thing is I wound up getting a job in a position that would be more for an extrovert. To make matters worse, I got promoted recently to an assistant supervisor-type position. I don't hate the position but its mentally exhausting. I often feel like I might not be doing it right yet my boss and others there say that they think I'm doing a great job.

After a typical work week I feel worn out and only feel better when I can spend almost the whole weekend by myself just to re-energize - I've been like that since I was a kid too.

I'm not good at making conversation and most of the time have trouble saying what I really feel - and its rare that I find someone who's open-minded and willing to listen and converse with me and understand more.

I like certain things about being an introvert, but in some ways it makes me feel trapped. For instance, I desperately want to change my lifestyle. I live in northeast part of the US,  where everyone's in a hurry to rush thru life. I'm tired of my job and extremely tired of my lifestyle and where I live. I love being out in nature and would really like to move to some rural area in the tropics and work with animals somehow. I still live at home and have a strange fear of going out on my own. I also have a big fear of driving - I have car but go to work and a few other places and thats it. I'm always at least a little vervous when I'm out on the road myself and always feel relieved when I get back home.

I don't know how an introvert is supposed to change, in order to make a lifestyle change? I took a trip to Costa Rica last year (I'm in love with the rainforest and living a quieter life in the jungle) -it was a solo trip and took me about 2 years to work up the courage to do it. I would love nothing more than to quit my job, pack my bags, go back down there to live permamently or at least part-time and make it happen somehow.

I feel like I'm too passive, laid-back, unmotivated, and scared to do it though. How does an introvert become motivated and courageous? The passion I have for being in the tropics helped me work up the courage to take the trip I think, but of course visiting and living/working there are two very different things.





raptor80 raptor80
26-30, F
1 Response Feb 28, 2010

I dont' know, I tried to find people to travel with already, but haven't had much luck yet finding anyone who was interested in going to the same places as me, even with friends or relatives.<br />
I like being a traveler, most people like being a tourist.<br />
<br />
And I don't think practicing being an extro is going to make me one, any more than an extrovert could become an introvert by practicing enough.<br />
There are some characteristics of an extro that I would like to obtain, but other than that I'd rather stay an introvert. I like thinking deeply, not being superficial. I like not being quick to assume and I like the fact that I don't need constant noise and commotion in order to get thru life.<br />
<br />
There is a healthy balance - there are things that most extros could learn from most intro's, and vice versa.

Whenthewallsfell - <br />
Thanks for the reply, it does sound like we have some things in common. <br />
I've been feeling restless for a little while now - especially after I took the trip to Costa Rica. I found I feel very adventurous inside but don't quite know how to show it on the outside, or change my mostly introverted lifestyle to fit it.<br />
I met some cool people down in CR who, like me, were tired of the 9-to-5 lifestyle and found something else they like to do better - but so far they are more courageous than I am.<br />
<br />
I found being an assistant supervisor has helped me in some ways, but I wouldn't want to move to any higher position than that, it just wouldn't fit me.<br />
<br />
After I got back from my trip and went back to work, alot of the more outgoing extrovert-type people I work with said to me that they would never have been brave enough to take a solo trip like that, and they were surprised that I was.<br />
To be honest I was kind of surprised too when I actually did it, but it helps when you discover what it is you're really passionate about in life.<br />
The hard part for me is figuring out exactly what I want to do, and being motivated enough to make a big enough change....