There Is Nothing Wrong With Being An Introvert

So many extroverts I have known and worked with consider introversion a character flaw - something to be overcome by reading self-help books or attending scripted business seminars on how to be loud and obnoxious and always get your way.  Perhaps because they are extroverts they feel it is necessary to loudly point out how quiet you are and how you need to talk more and open up.  This constant narrative gets into your head and you think that maybe there *is* something wrong with you. 

It took me a long time to not feel horrible about being an introvert.  There was an epiphany one day after suffering for so long when I realized that I actually like being an introvert.  I like to take my time before speaking so my words are thoughtful instead of blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.  I like spending time alone and can be quiet amongst friends and feel perfectly comfortable without the endless chatter about nothing.  I feel good when I am quietly reading and absorbing new ideas and thinking about life. 

I only wish I knew how to have more introvert friends since neither of us are talking to one another...

thetortoise thetortoise
31-35, M
8 Responses Mar 29, 2010

I just recently started researching into introverts yesterday, and I feel great about myself now. I always thought I was socially awkward and there was something wrong with me, and no matter how many times I tried to be more extroverted I would just hit a wall and feel depressed as I had failed. Now I feel like I am just my own person and people can like me for who I am, a quiet person who is genuinely nice and can open up to a few people when I feel close enough with them. I feel happy sat on my own at the weekends in the dark playing games or watching movies or maybe even just listening to music. I always felt antisocial for not doing something with other people every single day, but that's just me, I like my own company, and that's perfectly fine.

This made me best friend is an introvert also, lucky I guess :)

alot of extroverted people do not understand those that are introverts - they say they are loners which is not true - they say they are anti social which is another fallacy - they are very social people they just like to talk about things that they are interested in

I lean towards being and introvert and once I had a beautiful friend who was that way as well. We used to do lots of things together, and we were able to sit in silence together without feeling uncomfortable. Unfortunately, she is not around anymore but I will always treasure that friendship.

I certainly don't think that introversion is a character flaw. - I have not read that book but I heard about it - it's called "Introvert Power" - maybe you could read it if you are interested - I don't really know what it's about by the title is pretty much self-explanatory.<br />
Many people actually do not understand the real meaning of the terms "introversion" and <br />
"extroversion," and it took me good ten years (I had a psychology class in middle school) to understand what these terms really mean. How introverted or extroverted you are is NOT defined by your ability to communicate, being able to establish contacts, having many friends etc. - it is not how well you communicate with others but how much communication you NEED. If you live on an uninhabited island and perfectly happy over there - then you are 100% introverted.<br />
Needing people, wanting company - these are traits of an extrovert. If you were completely introverted, you would absolutely happy on your own and would not feel lonely -introvert finds a source of energy within himself, he does not need anyone. There are no 100% intro- or 100% extroverted people - some need more company then others but we all need it. Plus, being extroverted does not necessarily mean that you enjoy everyone's company and want to talk about everything. Being extroverted defines just the need to communicate, and nothing else.

Very well put. Like the article says there is such a stigma placed on introversion. Like you're a creepy lonely loser. Which is quite contrary. We as introverts can flourish in the right environments. Just because we aren't the first to table dance in the bar or to get up in front of a crowd and tell a story.

We're listeners, observers and more importantly learners. Like learning from all the mistakes extroverts make trying to be the first at doing everything all the time.

Unfortunately our society places such high value on those personalities the extrovert who jogs into work all Sunshine speaking to everyone making all of those superficial workplace relationships. Whereas the introvert might be seen as shy and mean and passed up for promotion because of their disposition.

I can't change who I am and I will not allow others to dictate to me how I should act and what is proper social behavior. I will no longer guise my introversion as being "a private person" so it doesn't sound like I'm some weird hermit. I am me, fabulous as an introvert can possible be.

This sounds so much like me. I am 60 years old and have been an extreme introvert since day one and have come to enjoy it for the most part. I too love being able to be alone and not be bored,to sit quietly on the periphery of a group of friends and not be included in the mindless boring crap that is tossed about. I have over the years fished , played golf , taken long walks, driven tens of thousands of miles and many other activities alone and never felt like I had missed a thing. Yes thetortoise is right to feel good about it. It's OK.

lol. I wish I had more friends like me.... Introverted. I enjoy being an introvert. Thank you Tort for showing me that it is OK to be this way & like it. lol<br />
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ha ha neither is talking to each other,,,aint that typical