So I'm An Introvert.. Hooray
I was feeling down about myself.. about my lack of accomplishing great worldly feats and all.. and I googled "support for shy people" an hour back. I read a few of the first posts about how being an introvert isn't bad and, as a matter of fact, we're better people than those crazy loud extrovert monkeys. Of course I'm thrilled that there's so many more people that have the same struggle with social interactions and generally everything involved with leaving the house.. but I'm just sort of pissed off that it took this long to find support. I'm nearing my 27th birthday.. that's too many years of avoiding the things that extroverts enjoy on a regular basis. Like normality. No one told me in my life that I was normal. Special was more like it.. and while that's okay to believe when you're a little kid, it sucks growing up and realizing you'll always be that special weirdo that skips class the days speeches or group projects are due.. or never getting a promotion at work because you "can't be a leader"... and sits quietly at parties, sipping on a drink while everyone around you laughs and takes part in the world.. and going home at the end of the day wondering why you can't make yourself be more like the outgoing people.. why is it so hard to do anything...
While it's good to realize there are reasons behind this personality type, it's sad to say once you live like this for so long.. I'm full of regrets of my past. What if someone could have helped me? Maybe I would have made better grades and not have given up on college.. not have done so many illegal drugs... not have let people take advantage of me.. there's so many things that could have been different if I had sought better support for this. So maybe I'm mad at google for not being around back when I needed so many answers. Or maybe I'm pissed that schools don't offer support programs for the kids they see everyday struggling with social disorders. Suppose I could have been a politican by now.. dammit.
Introvertism, I suppose, is okay with me. It sounds better than special. And it's reassuring to know that 25 percent of all people are like this. I was actually hoping by googling about this that there would be a school just for the exceptionally shy, but that information does not exist on the internet thus far. So good luck to all the introverts and thanks for the support group here.. I'm so happy to find it :)