Both Parents Passed Away Together, Suddenly

Hello Everyone, may peace be upon you all

I was away from home, in college, when both my parents took a trip overseas to visit our extended family. I received a call the next day from my uncle being vague, and asking me to come telling me that my mother and father had an accident. So I flew in, and during the flight I wasn't sure what the condition of my parents was, but my gut was telling me that it was bad, and I wish my uncle had told me the whole truth, but he was worried about me. I was asking the Almighty at the time to save them, but not too leave them as vegetables as well; later I had found out that they my mother had passed away instantly, my father died of a severe head injury.

I take solace in that their passing happened in a way that it was plain for me to see that it could not have happened any other way. They both lived and worked 12000 miles away from their home town, but ended up passing away in their ancestral soil.

It reminded me of a story of King Solomon and the angel of death, where king Solomon upon hearing from the angel of his friends death, tells his friend to flee the city, but his friend was destined to die, so after an incredibly long journey he passes away; the angel of death then remarks that he was told recently that the friend would pass away here at this place, but was worried as how the friend would end up there in such a short span of time.

If my parents had passed away where they were living, they would not have gotten such an honorable and dignified funeral as they did. People from rural villages have tremendous faith, they simply say that "it was something that belonged to Allah (God), and he took it back"

I've heard it doesn't hit you right away, and it hasn't hit me all at once, just in waves, b/c the world continues, and it will continue after wards. At one place there is a funeral and at the next a wedding.

What I am struggling is is why I have been put in this situation; our Lord keeps his veil of silence. One possibility is that I am cursed' I have very despicable attributes and have done countless things that I feel is deserving of such fate; perhaps it is way to expiate my sins. My friend had told me however, that he must love me that he is testing me so much; I hope that is the case.

I may be boring you with my religious undertones, but to me it is strange, quite strange, that just a few years ago I was an avid atheist, and then recently had completely turned a different leaf; I had also learned to live independently recently while at college, doing my own laundry, cooking, and cleaning which I was completely dependent on my mother for. My cousin said that God may have been preparing me.

One can view the situation from different angles, and I really wish right now to be a good person more than anything, but I find myself faltering in faith; I feel like I always have, as a prisoner, while most people are enjoying the world, I'm sitting and watching at the sidelines; but now I'm weak, and there is a propensity to feel sorry for myself.

Our human minds cannot understand everything. The beautiful prayer, "Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 

the courage to change the things I can, and 

the wisdom to know the difference." illustrates this.  

Fear has become my enemy; as a child we always view our fathers as that hero that would protect us, and now I feel vulnerable. I hope I can realize that it was never my father taking care of me alone, and that this fear material in nature, and I hope the part of me that is immaterial wins over the part of me that is material, I hope this for everyone. Thank you for listening.

tamo70 tamo70
22-25, M
1 Response Feb 27, 2010

I can understand ur sorrow as i have gone thru the same ...just a difference that I am married and have a family.I lost my mom when she was 47 and my dad passed away 2 years back(he was 68) in an accident ....after which he had a head inujury and then was in coma for a month. For the last 2 years I have been depressed and felt there is no god.....and god is partial ..he gives soem people everythign adn some nothing......but I guess after all thsi now I am slowly accepting it as we haev no choice but to do so....why it happens with some people/....I ask thsi to god everyday but I dont get any answer. When I see other friends talking about their parents ,my heart sinks and I cry from within..........