I Was An Only Child As Well.

I guess there are pros and cons of being an only child. However when I was growing up, it was a kind of stigma and other kids judged you or expected you to be spoilt. Others were jealous because they didn't get on with their brother or sister and would say I didn't have anybody to argue with. Err I did, my parents LOL.

I felt unusual growing up as my parents were together and yet I was an only child. (I think a lot of other only children were from a single parent household)

Perahaps only children today growing up, perhaps it's different? There seems to be far more only children around, you know on days out and going into town than there were when I was growing up. Perhaps less to feel self-conscious about for these kids today.

Perhaps also with the amount of single parents or step families, so many people grow up in different situations and perhaps other kids are not as surprised about stuff any more.

I feel like I am talking as an 80 year old LOL but I am in my early 30's. I do believe people are having their children later and although I don't generally think people are having less children (plenty have 2 or 3) but I think there is more chance of an only child now.

When I am out and about, I can spot an only child a mile off. Apart from the obvious that there isn't another child with him/her, the child will be confident in speaking to adults and won't be clingy.

I noticed that somebody else seemed to skip the silly teenage years and seemed to grow up quickly to adulthood. In that way, I think I was mature and didn't make reckless mistakes, though not knowing what I wanted or whatever. I wouldn't have said I was that rebelious either. This was because of strictness at home. Plus the annoying thing: Because there was nobody to compare me to, my Mum would be angry if I did something. There was nobody to compare me to, where they would recall that my brother/sister had done the same thing and it wasn't so bad what I did. I recall so many conversations with friends when they would say that their parents wouldn't have gone so mad about doing whatever it was. So as an only child there is more pressure, only you can be an angel or a black sheep.

I also think it teaches you to be self-reliant and independant and used to your own company. This is because the time others would spend playing with their sibling(s) would be time playing on your own. I think because of this, I have always had a deep fear of becoming lonely or not having anybody around me or spending too long devoid of human contact. I think it can be lonely at times, nobody to play with (until you go to a friends house). Nobody to talk about the things you cannot talk to your parents about, or confide in. Of course you do this with friends, but not at home and as your friends don't live with you, they don't truly get your situation or your gripes with your parents or whatever.

I am sure all this makes you grow up too quickly because I was more used to elderly relatives RIP than a new child in the family. So as already said, you grow up in adult company, as you are always the youngest by a long way. Therefore I always valued contact with others my age, such as zoo club, guides, or youth club. It was always an effort and I had to push myself to make friends and not sit in the corner.
thevibe thevibe
31-35, F
2 Responses Jul 22, 2010

You are right people are never satisfied so to speak. The key is for one's childhood not to cause hang-ups and problems in the adult life isn't it. Otherwise I think in many situations in life, anybody can wonder if the grass is greener so to speak, when in fact it probably isn't. There is probably no ideal situation if either being in a big family or tiny family feels different or away from the average. I think most people do remember being wanted and loved and parents doing whatever they can.

You see, we are never satisfied with our surroundings or whatever we get without efforts. I had a big family and all the time noise and noise..no peace of mind and i wished,,i could be an only child..everything has plus and minus side..always. I have learnt to thank God whatever i am blessed with.