I Am An Outcast In My Family.

My dad passed away since I was 10. And now I'm 22. I've always been an outcast in the family. I am...different. I don't look like the rest of my siblings. My younger sister is pretty and all and I'm not. She has my dad's look and I don't. My dad is an Eurasian. So basically, my younger sister is beautiful. I am more to my mom's side. I'm not saying that my mom is ugly. It's just that I have none of the Eurasian look. I am not living with my mom by the way. I'm staying with my aunt. My dad's younger sister. My point is that, whenever there is a family gathering on my dad's side, I am always the outcast. Everyone starts to judge me. Why am I different? Why am I ugly? Why I don't look like my dad? In fact, I've been embarrassed in front of everyone. And all I can do is smile. I felt like bursting into tears but I can't. I was hurt. I was in pain. But no one knows. Every time dinner starts, no one even bother to invite me. And I ended up not eating. Even my younger sister offered my cousin drinks but not me. She told me to make it my own. She prefers her more than me. And everyone that talks to me, talks in an angry way. Rude to be precise. I don't know why. And yes, even now it's happening. That is why I am writing this because I don't know who to turn to. I don't have anyone to talk to or to tell my feelings. I am in my room feeling hurt when I discovered this site. At least I can let go of my sadness in writing instead of talking.
heartbrokengirl90 heartbrokengirl90
22-25, F
3 Responses Aug 10, 2012

don't worry about what others think of you , even i feel like an outcast. i am always insecure about my looks, to make my matters even worse for me my mother always rants about me being fat , ugly and different . :) they're just jealous.

Just know you're beautiful inside and out

well.. if that pic is really you.. you have nothing to worry about.. youre beautiful.. and maybe they just dont realise how hurtful they are being.. you shouldnt let it bother you.. try build your life and have your own family and dont worry about how they are.. concentrate on having a great family with great values.. and i bet you they would admire and be jealous of you.. rather then degrade you.. looks will fade.. and when they do.. what will they have left? a cold bad heart.. but if youre a good person.. your inner beauty will always shine